Behind Closed Doors: A Portrait of the Malfoy Family
by AnnaChase
Summary: "There were all the right ingredients. Two young people open to the benefits this arranged marriage could bring. Qualities and characteristics, and even looks that matched. But even all the right ingredients were incapable of brewing a successful potion without a touch of magic. ". Lucius/Narcissa. Their story, at last.
1. The Consummation

**Behind Closed Doors: A Portrait of the Malfoy Family**

**Chapter One: The Consummation**

The mirror revealed a blushing bride on the verge of her new life. Endless Pureblood ceremonies had occupied the day and formed an image of a perfect, fairy tale wedding. It had been magical in every sense of the word. Unicorns pulling carriages, the bridal gown handmade by hundreds of French goblins, and countless witches and wizards from all over the world: only from the highest ranks of wizarding society. Only the best was good enough for Narcissa, youngest daughter of Cygnus and Druella Black. Ever since she was a little girl, Narcissa had dreamed of such a wedding. And yet, it was all over in a mere few hours: the memories already so surreal it was as if it had been someone else. She had expected to feel exhausted after such a long day, but it was adrenaline that kept her up. Adrenaline, and anticipation. For she knew it was not yet truly over. They had finished the official part, yes, but there was more to it. A Pureblood marriage was only a marriage, after all, if it was consummated.  
With trembling fingers, she removed the bejewelled hairpins from her hair. Long locks of blond hair cascaded down her back like a golden waterfall. Just as she began to brush out her hair, there was a brief knock on the door to betray the arrival of Lucius Malfoy: her now husband. At first she watched him through the looking glass: a handsome man still in his wedding attire, coming to stand behind her. Their eyes locked; dark grey ones of his with hers, an icy shade of blue.

"Lucius" she breathed, feeling the weight of his hands on her shoulders through the light material of her nightgown.

"Narcissa. I hope the day was to your liking", he spoke calmly, and the young bride wondered if he possessed no nerves at all for the task at hand. Of course, he was likely to be more experienced. Men could get away with that without a blemish to their reputation, whereas women could be ruined if they put one toe out of line.  
She stood up and turned to face him directly now, and she looked so young. Dressed in a white, silk nightgown there was little to protect her slim body from sight. She was young in both years and experience, but for how much longer?

"Everything about today was perfect, Lucius. It was all I ever dreamed about", she looked up at him with admiration. Narcissa was naive, still, and young enough to believe in the love stories she read. In her mind she had built up quite an image of what she wanted married life to be like, but part of her was a realist. With her mother the very image of a Pureblood trophy wife, reserved and mysterious about the true tasks of a married woman_, _Narcissa had depended on her sister Bellatrix for advice. Had she not, she would have come to her wedding night completely unknowing.

Her husband surprised her with a kiss; their first _real _kiss. Their match was arranged; a very regular thing in Pureblood society, and the pair had barely spent more than a few moments together unsupervised. Needless to say, their kisses had been reduced to an occasional peck on the cheek. But the present kiss was one that carried more passion, and she could feel Lucius's hands resting on her small waist. It tasted good, and sweet. Not at all like the dark times that lay ahead of them.

"I.. I don't know much" she whispered, when they were forced to part for air. She thought it necessary to explain to him her inexperience, even if he was likely to already know. Before marriage all Pureblood girls were examined by healers to make sure they were truly as pure as their blood.

"Shh" he rested a finger against her lips. "I will teach you all there is to know, in due time".

His breath against her skin sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. She was afraid, but that would not stop her from being brave. In fact, without fear there would be no bravery. And without either there would never be triumph.

Willing to show her loyalty to him, Narcissa took a few steps back until she stood by the fireplace, illuminated by the fire and the moonlight slipping through the curtains. After a deep breath, she reached for the straps of her gown and slid them down her shoulders until it formed a pool of silk at her feet, leaving her in nothing but a pair of lace white panties. She could feel a flush creeping up her cheeks. No man had ever seen this much of her. Even though she knew she was quite a sight to see, Narcissa had her insecurities. Perhaps Lucius would prefer her to be less pale, or for her hips to be wider. She had always been slim, and while other girls openly envied her tiny figure, she sometimes wished she had more curves. But even without those, her father had received many requests for her hand in marriage and she could often feel the eyes of young men upon her.  
The look of desire in his eyes was obvious. It was frightening; as if he would devour her right then and there.

"Narcissa.. " her name was a breath upon his lips as he stepped in to close the distance between the two of them. Before she could respond he had lifted her up in his arms and laid her down on the bed. The silk and satin sheets felt wonderfully cool against her body; warm and flushed in anticipation of what was to come. She watched Lucius as he undressed. He seemed cool and composed still, although the look in his eyes betrayed that he had other feelings too. It was the first time she saw a naked man, and despite everything she was impressed. Her husband truly was a very handsome man. He was tall and proud, his body perfectly toned. They were alike in skin: his too was unblemished and a perfect shade of white. She could feel safe with him, should she be given time and chance for it.  
She felt his weight cover her when he joined her on the bed, suddenly so very close when he recaptured her lips in another kiss. For the moment she allowed herself to get lost in it, feeling his hands caress her breasts.

Ever since she was a little girl, Narcissa had been taught that such acts were reserved only for married couples: strictly forbidden under any other circumstances. It was a strange thought that, now that she was married, the formerly forbidden acts were not only allowed, but practically expected of her. Anything to please her husband.

"Lucius", she whispered when they paused for breath. "I'll be a good wife to you".

This drew a chuckle from him; a cool sound that showed a hint of what was hidden behind his charming manners.  
"My darling wife" he reached up to brush a strand of hair from her face. "Of course you will be. You are nothing less than perfect now. I dare say you are exactly what the House of Malfoy needs".

His words proved necessary encouragement. Lucius's mother had died giving birth to him and he had grown up ever since with his old father. While Narcissa had yet to become properly acquainted with her father in law, he did not appear very kind. She could only imagine how lonely it must have been for Lucius to grow up like that. She would be the first woman in the family for over two decades. A job she took very seriously. Even if the House of Malfoy was one that carried great respect by wealth and heritage, it lacked a woman's influence when it came to their social position.  
His attentions brought her mind back to the matters at hand, and a small whimper left her lips when his fingers brushed over her nipples. They hardened in response almost immediately, betraying that she, too, enjoyed this.

"What does it feel like?" he demanded.

"Good. It feels so good" her words were hardly more than a breath. Warm feelings spread through her body, and she felt slightly lightheaded. Even now she could tell there was a certain wetness growing between her thighs. She would soon find that this would make their lovemaking a less painful business than it might be otherwise.

They did not waste any time with foreplay. There would be more than enough time for that during their marriage. For now; the job was to consummate the match with as little discomfort as possible.

When Lucius had settled between her thighs, she looked up at him with a hint of fear.  
"Will it hurt terribly?" she whispered in the darkness, her hands resting on his strong shoulders for support. Even now she could feel the very evidence of his desire for her pressing against her thigh.

"I believe there shall be a slight… ah, discomfort. But I assure you that I do never seek to hurt you any more than necessary".

Narcissa could not make up her mind whether she found her husband's words ones of comfort or alarm, but she nodded. Though her name had now changed to Malfoy, she was still a Black. _Toujours Pur_, was the motto that prided on the family tapestry in Grimmauld Place 12: the house of her uncle Orion and aunt Walburga. Blacks were proud, and brave. They did not scare away from a bit of pain when blood purity was at stake. The Pureblood marriage was sacred in every sense of it: it ensured their costly wizard blood would not be mixed with that of muggles. The family's line of wizard blood went back further than anyone could imagine, and now that she was of age it was Narcissa's job to contribute to it.

Her eyes fell closed when she felt him enter her: slow, but determinedly. She managed to breathe through it first, but when she felt something tear it caused her to cry out as she experienced a sharp, sudden jolt of pain. They key, of course, would be to relax, but when the mind reached a state of panic, the body rarely complied to the aim of relaxation.

Lucius, not oblivious to his wife's discomfort, ceased his movements for the time being to allow her to adjust. Despite the Dark Mark he carried, he was not intrinsically a cruel man. At the very least, not to his own kind. Narcissa had been selected carefully for his wife, and even now she still had seemed the best choice: good heritage, wealthy, and a rather angelic appearance that pleased the eye. But most of all: Narcissa seemed not nearly as opinionated as her older sister Bellatrix.  
It was obvious that she was rather brave: she did not ask for him to stop, and neither did she struggle visibly to end the pain. As fragile as the young bride looked, she could be strong with determination.

"Good girl" he praised her when she took a few deep breaths that would calm her breathing. Narcissa discovered this helped, and indeed: the worst pain quickly faded to the background, with all that remained a more than bearable dull ache.

After this settled down, he started to thrust into her: a slow pace to start with that would allow her to get used to the feelings. When she seemed fine with that, the intensity of their lovemaking increased. The way he seemed to brush against a rather sensitive spot was almost pleasant, but Narcissa was not yet at ease enough to experience the full enjoyment that could derive from this act. However, she was more than pleased to note the arousal in her husband. By the way the thrusts became more jagged and intensified it was obvious he was enjoying himself immensely. Her heart made a little jump of delight that she was capable of making Lucius feel so good. All she really wanted was to be the perfect wife for him. She was not strong like Bellatrix, or clever like Andromeda –the sister that must never again be mentioned-; but given the chance she could flourish in her own right with the talents she possessed and was just beginning to discover.

It was over sooner than she could have anticipated. As Lucius reached his climax point he spilled his warm seed inside of her. Immediately she could not help but wonder: would they have made an heir now? The best Pureblood wives delivered their husband a son within a year of marriage. After that year, at the very least signs of a pregnancy were to be expected. Failure was certainly not an option.  
It was done. Lucius settled himself beside her and leaned on his elbow to study her features.

"Was it good for you?" she whispered, tired by now from the countless new experiences the day had held for her.

"Oh yes" . Lucius leaned down to kiss her; but gently this time, not claiming her lips as he had before. It was a kiss that carried both a comfort and a promise. "You've done very well. From now on it will only become better for you, too, my love". He then laid himself down beside her, his fingers absent-mindedly stroking her hair for a while, until she could hear his breathing slow down to indicate he had fallen asleep.

Narcissa, too, would love to enter the oblivion of dreamland, but she had always been a troubled sleeper. She was a sensitive soul that always seemed to find a worry or an excuse to keep her up at night. For hours she listened to her husband's steady breathing beside her, finding it hard to relax so much as to allow her body to sink into slumber. It was only when the sun was rising that her eyes finally fell closed.

The start had been better than she had dared to expect. This man, barely more than a stranger at heart, was her husband now. She had willingly opened her heart to him and offered it for the taking. A trusting gesture made by one that knew so little of life.

There were all the right ingredients. Two young people open to the benefits this arranged marriage could bring. Qualities and characteristics, and even looks that matched. But even all the right ingredients were incapable of brewing a successful potion without a touch of magic.

* * *

**Author's note:** This is my first story in years, I am only just now getting back into writing. I consider writing more chapters on this story, perhaps a review or two will convince me even more to do so ;) Either way: let me know what you think, I love feedback!


	2. Of Fathers and Sons

**Chapter Two: Of Fathers and Sons**

In a raging war there is only so much time a leading soldier can take to enjoy being newlywed. The Dark Lord was rising higher than anyone could have expected and Lucius could count himself part of his inner ranks and most loyal Death Eaters. Needless to say: expectations were endless. Luckily he had equipped himself with a most tolerant wife, for Narcissa would not dream of demanding her husband's time. She was ever patient and delighted in the moments given her. Six months they had been wed now. Six months in which she was only beginning to adjust to this new, responsible life.

With Lucius for a husband, she found herself wanting for nothing. To make up for his time away he spoiled her with exquisite jewels and perfumes and gave her free reign of the manor. The ancient victorian manor was beautiful with all its grandeur and Narcissa was quite in love with it. There was a certain satisfaction in being able to run one's own household. Already she had started to make adjustments to apply her own touch to the house. Although the manor was well tended to by all the staff, it was obvious no woman had inhabited it for a long time. The drawing room was in dire need of refurnishing, and Narcissa had started out by hosting a few small dinner parties, hoping to organize her first grand ball in the summer.

While Lucius seemed pleased with her intentions to ascend the social position of the Malfoys, his father showed less obvious enthusiasm. Abraxas Malfoy inhabited the west wing of the manor, and kept to that most of the days. When not on one of his frequent hunting trips, he joined them in the dining hall for dinner. Such was the case tonight, and Narcissa felt a slight dread having to sit through dinner with her father-in-law. She was sad to say that her relationship with Lucius's father was not becoming what she had hoped for. She had imagined that while Lucius was so often away on missions for the Dark Lord, perhaps she would enjoy the elder man's company. Unfortunately Abraxas could hardly be described as likeable. The old man was aloof and rigid in perceptions. It was also obvious he was not very pleased by his son's wife. While the 'Noble and Most Ancient House of Black' was a not a match he could have objected to, he made sure to let Narcissa know he found her too young and incapable for her position as Mrs Malfoy. To Narcissa it seemed his disapproving eyes followed her everywhere and, in a way, she was rather frightened.

"Good evening, Narcissa", he greeted her as she entered the dining hall. Abraxas had already taken his seat at the head of the table.

"Good evening", she responded as she joined him. "I'm afraid Lucius will not be joining us tonight. He's still on the job".  
Dobby the house elf served them the first course and poured the wine with true diligence.

"Is he indeed" Abraxas mused in a tone that Narcissa did not wish to inquire after. She always felt terribly uncomfortable in the man's presence, which was rather unlike her. In fact, she was normally quite the social butterfly.

"I do hope you keep yourself occupied without my son's attentions?".

"Oh, certainly. In fact, I have just today lent my name to another charity fund. It collects money for children suffering chronic consequences of the Dragon Pox. Lucius and I received an invite to their benefit dinner next week. ".

Abraxas merely nodded curtly as he focused on his soup, not in the least intent on pretending to be interested in what kept a young lady busy during the days.

"I would also like to plan something for Halloween", Narcissa continued bravely. She would like to give at least the impression that she was fond enough of Lucius's father to have a decent conversation with him. Even if he was barely responsive, she would not give up so easily. "Just a small party for some of Lucius's closest friends and their wives. Would that be all right?".

"You are mistress of this house now", he merely stated. "That gives you, I suppose, the freedom to host as many parties as you like. But please, do not make it seem as if you value my opinion on the matter. You know very well I have no interest in such frivolities".

With a slight frown, Narcissa concentrated on the food in front of her, allowing Dobby to serve the main course. Just as she wanted to reconsider her aim to converse with the man, he continued his rant of disapproval.

"And instead of wasting your time on children of others, perhaps you should concentrate on your own. Or, as I should say, the lack of them. I take it there is still no sign of an heir?".

This brought an embarrassed flush to Narcissa's face. Had she been more bold like her sister Bellatrix, she would have lashed out at the man's rudeness.

"No… I'm afraid not" she responded instead, in a much quieter tone. "It hasn't been that long" she suggested in her weak defense.

"Six months should be more than enough time for a young and healthy witch as yourself to conceive. May I remind you the House of Malfoy is in dire need of an heir? In this war it is more important than ever to secure our blood ties. Lucius is the only male Malfoy left after me and I hope you shall not make him regret marrying you".

"I'm sure it won't be long now". Her voice was barely more than a whisper, and she did not dare look up; afraid to show how much his words got to her. She had begun to wonder herself, too, why she had not yet conceived. It couldn't be the frequency of their intimacy; hardly a night went by without them trying.

They spent the rest of the meal in silence and, once it was finished, Narcissa was more than glad to be able to excuse herself to head upstairs. She attempted to read the latest edition of _Witch Weekly _that had just come out, but her mind kept drifting off to her father-in-law's words. She decided she would ask Lucius if there was cause for concern. He was older and wiser, at least in her opinion. He would know what was necessary.

The evening passed and still there was no sign of Lucius. Midnight came, and by then Narcissa could not deny she was worried. She had stayed up to welcome her husband home, and seated herself by the fireplace in their bedchamber. Too anxious to do anything but worry, she was still dressed in the black chiffon gown she had worn for dinner. The dress appeared to make her look more mature than the seventeen summers she had seen, and it matched quite well with the new pearls around her neck: a gift from Lucius. Her hair was still up in an elegant chignon that illuminated her long neck. Nervously she ran her fingers over the necklace, appearing deep in thought. If something happened to Lucius she didn't think she would be able to handle it. Even in this short period of marriage she had already become quite attached to him. She liked to think that she loved him, but she was young and naïve and had seen so little of life. Perhaps when they had struggled through the hardship that awaited them yet, and resurfaced together, then she would see if she loved him still.

Several times she stood up and paced the room, stopping to peer out of the window. It was a pitch black sky, no moon to be seen. Was Lucius still out there somewhere? Was he alone? Was he hurt? Her reverie was broken off when the flames in the fireplace suddenly turned blue: the sign someone was about to enter using Floo Powder.

"_Lucius!" _she exclaimed in delight, crossing the room in a heartbeat, and throwing herself in his embrace. The amount of relief she felt was a surprise, even to herself.

"Cissa, darling" he wrapped her up in his embrace, even so she had noted while she flung herself on him that he had winced in pain.

"Oh, I've been so concerned, Lucius. Are you hurt?" she allowed herself to glance up at his face, while she helped him out of his cloak and seated him on the leather sofa by the fire. It was obvious now that he was in pain, though trying to conceal it from her.

"It's nothing. A curse backfired, somehow. There isn't any visible damage" he responded as she seemed to study his body for blood or other signs of injury.

A curse. He had been cursed. Her eyes widened and locked on his as she sank down to her knees in front of him.

"What curse?".

"The Cruciatus Curse".

A shiver ran through her and she allowed her eyes to fall closed for a moment as she imagined the danger he had been in, dealing with Unforgivable Curses. Until now she had allowed herself to remain relatively ignorant of what exactly his jobs for the Dark Lord included. Of course, she knew the aim of the Death Eaters was to rid the Wizarding World of muggleborns. She had also figured out they would not reach this by a simple Bat-Bogey-Hex. But the Unforgivables were a different thing entirely.

"The Cruciatus Curse?" she whispered, the tone of her voice betraying the horrors she felt. "Are we in danger?".

"No", he quickly assured her. "Not now. Everything was solved, Cissa. I wish you had gone to sleep. You needn't concern yourself with this business".

"I cannot sleep when I don't know you're safe".

Something seemed to soften in Lucius's face, and he rewarded her with the hint of a smile. The fatigue on his face showed clearly now, making him look older than he really was.

"Lucius..." she reached up and ran her fingers across his cheek. She cared for him. Aside from his duties for the Dark Lord he had not given her any reason to be discontent with their match. So far he had always been kind to her. But even so she had seen hints of other sides of him as well. There had been times when he came home from the missions truly exhausted and on edge, unable to be as patient as his young wife needed to relax and enjoy their intimacies. He never did anything against her will, though, and during these moments she could only pity him. The strain put on him by both the Dark Lord and his father must be so much more serious than the stress she dealt with.

"Let me take care of you" she whispered.

Her words were met by a mere nod. Lucius seemed glad to end their conversation. She thought he, too, preferred her not to know too much of his occupations. But the time would come when ignorance was no longer an option.

She had ran him a hot bath and helped him undress and get into it. While there were indeed no visible signs of injury, it was obvious Lucius suffered from the aftermath of the curse. He even required her supporting him to get into the tub. Narcissa assisted him with quiet acceptance and seated herself on the edge of the tub while he bathed. Sweet scents of magnolia filled the air.

"I dined with your father tonight" she finally broke the silence, standing up to pour him a most welcome medicine: a glass of Ogden's finest Firewhiskey.

"Ah yes, I thought you might. How was he?" Lucius accepted the glass gladly, but a frown fell upon his features as she mentioned his father. It seemed Narcissa was only beginning to realise the complicatedness of the relationship between father and son.

"He was... his usual self" she finally responded, the corner of her lips twisting towards a hint of a smile.

"I feared as much".

"He seems to think there is something wrong with me".

She could feel his eyes on her while she undressed and joined him in the hot water, seating herself in his lap. He appeared more relaxed now, forcing the dark thoughts of the evening towards the background. But instead, he had his young wife spilling her worries on him.

"What could possibly be wrong with you, my dear?" he held her to him, noting how she fitted perfectly in his embrace.

"He wondered... if there wasn't any sign yet". She needn't explain herself further. The fact that he understood immediately, made her wonder if his father had shared his thoughts with him, too.

"Well, it hasn't been that long yet, has it?".

She could feel him hold onto her a little tighter, and she nodded in agreement. "That is what I said, too. But I suppose I could consult Healer Foxworth to make sure-".

"No", he quickly interrupted her, his hands now tightly holding onto her shoulders. If her back would not be to his chest, she would have feared the look upon his face. It was, if anything, one of despair.

"Lucius, you're hurting me" she winced slightly at the change of atmosphere. He had never been like this before.

"No one but us has any business knowing what goes on in this household. Do you understand me, Narcissa? My father is a grumpy old fool, with too much time on his hands. You must not let him get to you".

"Of course. I didn't think there was anything particularly wrong...".

It seemed he realised what he was doing then, and as quickly as his rage had come on, it disappeared.

"Forgive me, darling" he hushed her quietly, his arms circling her waist to embrace her dearly again. "I fear tonight has left me quite exhausted. I didn't know what I was saying. I only meant there is no need for a Healer. I believe sometimes it simply takes a while. You're very young, it takes some time for you to adjust to your new life here. A child will come, I am sure of that".

"Yes, I believe so too" she replied, turning around to face him now, water splashing lightly over the edge of the tub. Gently, she kissed him. It was as if his outburst had never occurred, but she could not forget. There was a slight tremble in her hands when she replied to his embrace.

She feared this war was starting to change her husband. She worried for him, and for the pair of them. This was after all only the first of many challenges they would face together. The world would become a darker place as the Dark Lord gained power, and what they had seen thus far was only the beginning.

* * *

**Author's note:** Thanks for the reads and reviews so far! Please keep them coming, they encourage me to write more! I had fun introducing you all to the 'charming' character of Abraxas. Next I hope to bring Bella into the mix, as well as some others!


	3. Into the Serpent's Lair

**Chapter Three: Into the Serpent's Lair**

_Whereof what's past is prologue; what to come,  
In yours and my discharge.  
-William Shakespeare: The Tempest _

While a storm raged outside, the inside of Malfoy Manor buzzed with music and the content chitchat of guests attending Narcissa's Halloween Party. There was a certain bravery in hosting parties in a time of war. People tended to hide in the shadows and wait things out, but Narcissa could see the benefits of mingling with the right sort of people. It was best to strengthen their bonds now that they could. After all, one could never know how things would play out in the future.

Although Lucius had supported the idea of her hosting a small party, he was unable to attend himself. He was currently in Albania with Rodolphus, on business for the Dark Lord. Bellatrix, however, had promised to stop by later when she was done with her duties. Apparently she would be taking a potential new Death Eater on his very first mission.

For the occasion the young Mrs Malfoy had dressed up in a particularly elegant new dress with a bodice of midnight blue. The skirt, a lighter shade of blue, was made of luxurious crêpe de Chine that really appeared to float around her. She had lost weight recently, more than good for her, and she had had to lace the bodice extra tight to make sure she didn't drown in it. Now the overall effect was quite flattering, and she dared to play the confident hostess and lady of the house.

Things had been hard for her, these past few months. Although Lucius was a very charming and generous husband, she had still had some trouble adjusting to her new life. She carried the responsibility well, but it was quite something for a girl who had not even taken her NEWTs at school. The urgent family matters had prevented that. Andromeda eloping with muggleborn Ted Tonks had brought such a scandal on the House of Black that her parents had been forced to withdraw Narcissa from school immediately to hurry along the marriage to which Lucius had thankfully still agreed. And of course, now that she was married there was new trouble to deal with. Her father-in-law, for instance, always looking for things to criticize in her. Lucius's missions for the Dark Lord becoming more and more dangerous. And, most of all, the much-needed male heir still not on the way. All of this combined caused her to spend many nights awake, too much on her mind to sleep. Or eat, for that matter. Whenever in times of great stress, it seemed Narcissa's body refused primal functions such as sleeping and eating. But tonight, she had decided, should be a good night. She was good at this sort of thing, and it would be good for Lucius too if she made some extra friends in the wives of the Death Eaters.

The drawing room was extravagantly decorated for the occasion. Due to its recent refurnishing it looked splendid already, but the finishing touches here and there did the true trick. Flags with the Slytherin coat of arms prided on the walls, and elves paraded around with trays full of crystal glasses containing alcoholic beverages and snacks of various kinds.

"Cissy! There you are, finally!".

Narcissa came across Melusine Nott; one of the girls she had been acquainted with during her Hogwarts years. Melusine had married Theodore Nott in the same period as Narcissa had married Lucius, thus creating a bond of shared experiences between the two young women.

"How wonderful to see you, Mellie!" Narcissa smiled fondly at her old friend and kissed her cheeks in greeting. "You look dashing, how do you feel?" she inquired, glancing at Melusine's round belly: she was quite obviously pregnant. As were, in fact, more than half of the women present at the party.

Of course it was to be expected. It was only normal for young couples to take their marriage to the next step, especially in a time of war where the Dark Lord greatly encouraged this for the sake of his future army. The fact, however, that for them this all appeared to go so smoothly, was rather a sting to Narcissa's pride.

"Oh, I feel just fine," Melusine responded, leaning in to start a more confidential topic of conversation. "You must tell me the secret of your diet. Once this little one is out, I fear I'll never fit into my old clothes again!"

"Ah, yes, I eh..." Narcissa stammered, thinking she would gladly trade places no matter how much weight a pregnancy would cause her to gain. "I believe I see my sister over there, excuse me for a moment."

Bellatrix had just entered with a young man in tow. Both looked rather dishevelled, undoubtedly from the business they had occupied themselves with just now. Narcissa was glad to see that her sister had at least taken off her Death Eater's cloak and now wore a form-fitting black dress that looked quite attractive on her tall and slender figure. Bella –as most people called her- would never wear pastels and silks like Narcissa, but at the very least she responded to the dress code. It was part of their upbringing, although one could say that children from the House of Black were not raised, but drilled.

"Hello Bella, I'm so glad you could make it," Narcissa kissed her sister's cheek in greeting, musing silently that Bella had no clue of knowing just how relieved she was to see her there, amidst of all these women full of evidence of their fertility. At least she needn't fear that from her sister.

"Yes, I thought I might as well. Cissy, I want to introduce you to Severus Snape. You may remember him from school. I believe he was in your year. I dare say he will be receiving the Dark Mark very soon," Bella's eyes sparkled with vigour as always when she mentioned the Dark Lord or anything related to the dark arts. "Severus," she continued, "meet Narcissa Malfoy, formerly Black. My sister, and lady of the house."

"How do you do?" Narcissa smiled kindly, extending a gloved hand. The boy looked familiar, but no more than that. Even at Hogwarts Narcissa had always been surrounded by a secluded group of Purebloods, which he had clearly not been part of.

"Quite well, Mrs Malfoy," he responded, accepting her hand in greeting. "And a lovely house you have, I must say."

Narcissa noted he did not seem very much at ease under to present circumstances. She suspected he was not from the traditional upper class Pureblood families, or she would have known him. He also stood out from the rest; his robes being rather out of fashion and not at all a match to the fine material worn by the majority of the guests.

"The Dark Mark you say?" she mused. "Tonight must have been a success then."

"It was acceptable," Bella responded haughtily, taking a glass of Firewhiskey from one of the passing elves.

"Well," Narcissa smiled towards her new guest. "Coming from my sister, I assure you that is quite the compliment. I'm afraid I will have to see to some of the other guests. Perhaps we'll meet again," she said, before she left them to it.

She trusted Bella to introduce the boy to some of the other Death Eaters. Not that Bella was particularly keen on benevolence, but she never failed to do her duty. And, more importantly, those valued by the Dark Lord, were valued by her.

The Halloween party left Narcissa feeling gloomy during the days afterwards. She felt lonely with Lucius still abroad, even if the house was never truly empty. There was Abraxas, of course, and the house elves. They had also allowed Severus Snape to make use of their potions supplies in the dungeons. He was now a freshly branded Death Eater and apparently very skilled in potions. The Dark Lord had appointed him the special job of brewing Veritaserum and some other advanced work. Because she had not yet seen him, Narcissa suspected he was either too shy or too busy to come and see her. Her solitude did give her an undisturbed access to the library of the manor. Ever since the party she had made up her mind that something had to happen. Half of the pregnant women had been married shorter than she and Lucius, so she could not suppress the thought that her father-in-law was right and there was indeed something wrong with her. Now that Lucius had made very clear he did not want her to seek help, she didn't think he could object to her checking the books on the matter.

Malfoy Manor was in the possession of an extended library, matching the Victorian style of the rest of the house. Endless rows of mahogany bookcases were filled with old leather-bound books that carried their titles in golden letters. There were books on every topic one could think of, so Narcissa supposed she should be able to find what she was looking for. At first she had checked the handbook, but found little advice in that. _The Handbook of Pureblood Wives _was given to every young lady of ancient wizard ancestry on her wedding day. It contained advice on many practical parts of marriage, and was terribly old-fashioned. There was even a chapter called '_Duties in the Bedroom', _but nothing that might help Narcissa in the present situation.

Perhaps _The World of Witches: From Pregnancy to the First Sign of Magic _would know what to do. Narcissa took the heavy book to the nearest desk, and began to skim through it. Her heart gave a leap at chapter two, and she quickly began reading.

"_Are you happily married, but so far unable to acquire the one thing you want the most? Do all your friends conceive child after child without effort, while you stay behind empty-handed? Fear not and try our simple suggestions, before you embarrass yourself unnecessarily by visiting a Healer or by turning to potions from the black market. _

#_1 Bathe one hour a day, before sunrise, in a combination of moon dust and unicorn milk _

_#2 Before your husband comes to you for the deed, try your luck with Felix Felicis. Luck might just do the trick for you."_

"I would hardly think you should lower yourself to such common measures."

Before her stood her sister Bellatrix, as always dressed in colours as black as her hair. Dark curls framed her face, and she leaned so casually against the bookcase it seemed she had been there for a while.

"Bella!" Narcissa glanced up in shock and closed the book quickly before she got the chance to read the other, more drastic measures it prescribed. "I didn't know you were coming, Dobby should have warned me."

"That's quite all right, I'm only looking in. I was really on my way to see Severus for some business. I heard you've lent him some... workspace," the corner of Bella's lip twitched towards a grin as she snatched the book from Narcissa's grip. "I'd like to know how such a book ended up here in the first place. I wouldn't think the old man had such broad interests," she chuckled.

"I expect it may have interested Lucius' mother. It seems quite old," Narcissa shrugged and felt her face flush lightly as her sister looked through the book's table of contents.

"Really, Cissy, this is so common it could have been written by a muggle. Do you truly think this will help? If Felix Felicis worked it'd be out of stock by now," Bella commented finally as she tossed it aside carelessly.

"I wish I knew," Narcissa seated herself on the desk and watched sadly as one of the elves hurried in to pick up the book and put it in its rightful place. "Bella, do you reckon there's something wrong with me?".

A frown appeared on her sister's face. "Has the old fool been mistreating you? Putting all sorts of insanities in your head? I don't understand why you wouldn't just slip some poison into his morning tea. Good riddance I'd say, and I don't know anyone who'd disagree."

"Oh, Bella, I wish you wouldn't say such things," said Narcissa with a sigh. "This has nothing to do with Lucius' father. Not really, anyway."

"Then Malfoy himself. Has it occurred to you this might not be your fault? I'd bet a thousand galleons he's got weak seed." Bella's grin widened at her own remark. She disliked Lucius with a passion and the feeling was mutual. It was quite inconvenient, considering they were both in the Dark Lord's inner circle. They would have been better off as allies.

Narcissa didn't quite get the humour of it and she turned her face away to study the bookshelves instead. "Lucius says we must have patience."

"We are beyond patience, are we?" Bella lifted her sister's chin to cause their eyes to meet. "Why not seek some assistance? And by that I do not mean ordinary moon bathing or whatever the books prescribe. Perhaps you should seek your fortune in the dungeons."

"You don't mean Severus Snape? I told you, Lucius wants –"

"Do you want a child, or not?" Bella interrupted her impatiently. "All I say is, he's good with potions. He might have something of use to you. He's hardly the gossiping type, I assure you," she chuckled before continuing. "You allow him to use your house for his projects, you introduce him to the right people... why wouldn't you ask for something in return?"

Indeed why wouldn't she? It took Narcissa only a few hours to come to that conclusion. It was well past midnight when she found herself descending the stairs to the dungeons. She was barefoot and dressed in her nightgown, although she had donned a dressing gown for discretion.

"Hello, Severus?" she inquired hesitantly, entering the potions room. Despite the hour, Severus Snape appeared still diligently at work. A cauldron was brewing a clear liquid that carried no fragrance, and wooden shelves were full of vials and bottles that formed a kaleidoscope of colours. "I should hate to disturb you at this hour."

"You already have," came the young man's reply. His state of dress appeared to have improved. It was also obvious to see he was more at ease in his domain here than he had been at the social event. "So you may as well state the purpose of your visit, Mrs Malfoy," he continued, bowing his head in greeting.

"Narcissa. Not so formal, you're one of us now," Narcissa smiled, albeit it was a smile of hesitation. "I was wondering if you might have some Sleeping Draught by hand?" She had figured she would start out with a safe request and see how willing he would be to help, before she got to asking what she was really after.

Upon her request, Severus turned around to inspect the shelves of potions. "You have trouble sleeping?"

"Ah, yes. Lucius is still abroad, you see. I do worry for him."

Severus neither acknowledged nor rejected her words spoken. He merely continued to look through the vials and finally selected a few. "It is the nerves then, that keep you up?" he inquired.

"Is there ever anything else?"

"Supposedly not," he agreed, handing her a small vial with purple contents. "Three drops of this should do the trick for a good night's sleep. Take more and you'll have trouble waking up, so be careful," he concluded.

"Thank you," Narcissa said, sounding surprised. Somehow she had not expected he would so willingly come to her aid. He had seemed aloof, but perhaps it was just a facade. "Lucius tells me the Dark Lord speaks very highly of you. You must be proud," she added.

"Indeed." Not one for small-talk, Severus squinted his eyes as he studied her. "Is there anything else you require?"

It would have been the right moment to leave. But Narcissa hoped she was correct in her feeling that in his direct, honest demeanour lay a trustworthiness that she so needed.

"There is something on my mind," Narcissa started, entering the room further now that she had made up her mind to confide in him. She smoothed out the skirt of her gown and took a seat on the leather sofa. "But I'm afraid it is a rather delicate matter. And confidential."

"I work for the Dark Lord. I believe that should be enough evidence for my ability to keep a secret," Severus remarked dryly.

"Of course. Well then... I believe I may require a... fertility potion," she lowered her voice to barely more than a whisper.

"A fertility potion?" Severus repeated. For a split second his monotonous tone of voice appeared to hold an edge of surprise. He said nothing more, though, and Narcissa suspected he did not need the 'Inner Eye' or anything like it to read the despair on her face. She had gathered all of her courage to consult him in the matter.

"Why not consult a Healer?" he finally spoke.

"Lucius prefers me not to. He doesn't want people to know we might have trouble," she admitted.

"And so you consult me instead, one who works with your husband in close proximity? Seems rather odd."

"I see that now, yes. I only thought...Bella said you may be able to help. She said you'd be discrete." It was a good thing the room was so dimly-lit, or he might have spotted the pink blush on Narcissa's face.

"As a matter of fact, I might be able to come to your aid. But you must understand this is not something I have in stock. The Dark Lord has no need for such potions," Severus added with a hint of what might be described as humour.

"Of course," she quickly responded.

"Come back tomorrow," he suggested. "I shall see what I can do."

"Oh Severus," Narcissa stood up, breathless with relief. If he only had the slightest idea of how grateful she was. "I am ever so grateful. But Lucius..."

"Will hear nought from me."

Sometimes conspirators were found in the strangest of places. Narcissa had no intention of going beyond her husband's wishes, but was his greatest wish not equal to hers? He need never know she had sought a little extra help, if in the end they both got what they wanted.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Alas, the plot thickens. I am so glad for the reviews this far! I intent to continue replying to them all to stay in touch with my readers, this is great fun. Please keep reading and reviewing, they make me all giddy about updating again ;) Cheers!


	4. The Birth of a Mother

**Chapter Four: The Birth of a Mother**

_Hear my soul speak:  
The very instant that I saw you, did  
My heart fly to your service  
-William Shakespeare: The Tempest _

Whether it was the potion, a glimpse of sheer luck, or whether it would have happened anyway: we will never know. And it did not matter. What mattered only was the fact that Narcissa conceived within the next month. Being pregnant turned out to be less difficult than she had expected. Of course, no one escaped certain discomforts. The third and last trimester which Narcissa had now reached was the worst so far. Her belly had grown so much that it became quite difficult to get comfortable, especially at night. Due to the baby's weight, her back now hurt constantly and it also seemed to press down on her bladder, causing the need to visit the bathroom every ten minutes. But none of that mattered when she felt her child kick vividly inside of her: the very evidence that he was alive and growing well. Narcissa was certain he would be a boy. Call it mother instincts, call it wishful thinking, she just knew.

Healer Foxworth visited every week now that the pregnancy progressed. He examined Narcissa and checked her blood pressure, concluding each time that both mother and child appeared in perfect health. Even if this was always happy news, Narcissa received no true support from the old-fashioned family Healer. He merely stated all discomfort she experienced was part of the process. And so, it was Severus instead who brought to her potions that relieved her symptoms. Throughout the months of her pregnancy, he had become a true family friend. Lucius was quite fond of him, and therefore made no objection to the help Severus regularly offered Narcissa. Without his Sleeping Draughts Narcissa didn't think she'd still be feeling so joyous.

Now that she had entered the final month, Narcissa was prescribed a lot of rest. She spent a lot of time laying comfortably on the sofa in the patio looking out to the gardens of Malfoy Manor. Everything was in full bloom now that it was spring, giving a golden glow to the sight. The young mother to be was recommended one hour of walking exercise in the gardens every day, to ensure she got her share of fresh air. It also kept her in shape for the delivery to come. Today Lucius was joining her: a fortunate occurrence, since he had so little time these days.

"How are you feeling today, Cissa?" Lucius stood in the doorframe as she got ready by adjusting her hat. She wore a gown of light blue that matched the shade of her eyes. The light material did little to hide her swollen stomach, but that was all right. She felt very proud of her unborn child, and as far as she was concerned anyone could see how far along she was.

"Quite well, it seems lovely to go outside, doesn't it?"

"Indeed. Do you need a coat?" Lucius inquired. Narcissa found in him often a concerned father-to-be. He was always interested in her health and wellbeing. In a way, it made her feel safe. She could not wait to see the sort of father he would be once the baby was born.

"I don't believe so. It seems quite warm."

"Well, we can't have you catching a cold now, not at this stage," Lucius commented as he went to fetch her coat anyway. It brought a smile to Narcissa's lips and she made no further comment on it.

The gardens of Malfoy Manor were truly a sight to see. There was enough ground to keep one occupied for hours, endless flowers in all spring colours stretching out before them. The young couple found a quiet companionship as they strolled. Narcissa linked her arm through her husband's and studied him sideways. She knew he was under a lot of strain. The missions seemed to become more frequent and dangerous, and at times Lucius showed her hints of a temper she had never seen in him before. Not that he ever hurt her, but there were times when she thought it not impossible.

"Do you often think of your mother now?" Narcissa inquired. Luckily her own mother was still alive, but Druella Black was not the type to discuss confidential topics with either of her daughters. Even so Narcissa was well aware her parents had gone to great lengths to have a son and heir, which had resulted in many miscarriages, two stillbirths and, eventually, three living daughters. It was fortunate her father's brother, uncle Oreon, had two sons to carry on the family line, but she knew it had hurt her parents' pride greatly. She could only hope her child would be a boy so that the task was done. But already she knew that she would love the child no matter the gender.

"I do sometimes," Lucius agreed, guiding her to sit down on a wooden garden bench by the pond. "Is he kicking now?" he glanced at Narcissa's belly, and waited for her nod of encouragement to place his hand upon it. "He's strong, isn't he?" he smiled. His son.

"Yes," Narcissa smiled and rested her hand on top of Lucius's as they sat like that, quietly enjoying their little family for the moment.

"I sometimes wish I knew more of her," Lucius continued, just when she had thought he wouldn't. "My mother, I mean. But you know father; he isn't one to talk, about anything really. I do worry for you."

"I know you do," she smiled. If anything Narcissa found her husband's concern endearing. "But you heard Healer Foxworth; everything seems perfectly in order. There isn't any reason to worry."

"I'll still be glad once it's over and you've safely delivered," Lucius concluded. "Father will be too, even if he doesn't say so."

"All your father wants is an heir, whether I'm still alive by end of it seems irrelevant," she responded with a small smile. She felt stronger against Lucius's father when they both agreed on his lack of benevolence. "It must have been very hard, growing up with him alone," she continued.

"Very," Lucius agreed, seeming lost in thought for the moment as he stared at the pond on front of them. "I'd like to do things differently. Of course, our son will need a proper Pureblood upbringing. He'll need to become a strong man, after all. But I'd never be cruel like my father."

"I know that, darling," Narcissa replied fondly. She would never doubt her husband's love for their child, now that he was already so considerate before he was even born. "I'm not sure what sort of mother I'll be."

"A good one, no doubt," Lucius concluded, standing up and helping her up to continue their walk. She could only hope he was right. What she did know, was that she would give all she had to meet all of her child's needs.

Narcissa's contractions started a week before her due date. She had dreaded the moment as it approached. She had feared horrible pains and complications, and in the back of her mind was the idea that women could die during this. Like Lucius's mother. Despite that being over twenty years ago, it was still a distressing thought. She was assisted during the birth by Healer Foxworth, her mother, and Bellatrix. She could have done with just her sister. Bella had no experience with childbirth whatsoever, but Narcissa trusted her more than anyone. Also, no one could put her at ease like her sister could. Whereas the Healer and her mother only increased her discomfort. Lucius awaited out in the hallway, as men were not allowed in the birthing chamber. He was kept company by both prospective grandfathers; Abraxas and Cygnus Black, and Rodolphus Lestrange; Bella's husband and the child's uncle-to-be.

Supposedly Narcissa's labour went as well as it could go. Yet that hardly meant it was painless. She was not quite ready to pushing the baby out yet, but she could feel it would not be very long now. She had positioned herself cross-legged onto the bed, several comfortable pillows supporting her. It seemed she had entered her own sort of subspace where she focused calmly on her breathing. When she sat like this, she was able to breathe through the contractions mostly. At least she would have been, if it weren't for her mother's voice.

"Please cease that noise, Narcissa," Druella commented sharply as her daughter cried out in pain at a particularly painful contraction. "Screaming like a commoner. What must the men think of that? Besides, you'd do well to save your strengths for later."

From the corner of her eye, Narcissa could see Bellatrix rolling her eyes upon their mother's words. Of the three sisters, Bellatrix had always looked most like their mother. The same dark, unruly curls. The same proud, haughty demeanour. And mostly, both possessed a temper of impressive nature. No wonder they didn't get along; they were simply too much alike. Narcissa, on the other hand, looked most like their father. Cygnus was a man of much calmer nature than his wife. He was in general much more agreeable. And even so his tranquil yet confident conduct demanded respect in such a way that his more opinionated wife could never overrule him.

"I think it's time," Narcissa gasped finally, disrupting the quarrel between mother and her eldest daughter. This was her first time at this, but somehow her body knew just what to do. She forced a grateful smile at Bella who dabbed her forehead with a cold cloth. An unusual gesture of kindness for Bella. But even the grandest Death Eaters had family they loved.

"She can't be," Druella protested towards the Healer. "She hasn't been at it for that long yet."

Fortunately Healer Foxworth was decent enough to take Narcissa's word for it and examined her again. "She is ready indeed," he announced, causing Druella to sport a rather sour face at being proven wrong.

And thus the final part of the delivery began. Impressive waves of pain rocked Narcissa's body, leaving little time to breathe in between. Towards the end of it, she was clammy with perspiration, her hair drenched and clinging to her warm forehead. She had wanted to prepare for this more, to get herself ready for the birth of this so desired child, but all she could focus on now was trying to survive. At a certain moment she had taken hold of Bella's hand, and she would not let go, squeezing it tightly with each attempt to push the baby out.

It was a boy. A healthy boy that came out crying, showing off his capable lungs the moment Healer Foxworth held him up. There was something about new life coming into the world that went beyond everything. It ceased quarrels and all else for the moment. Everyone but the baby was silent. When they gave him to Narcissa, she found every cliché to be true. She had no longer a memory of the pains she had so dreaded before. They could have obliviated her and the effect would have been the same. Her boy was perfect. He was still a little red and wrinkly from his journey into the world, but for the moment his eyes were open and Narcissa caressed the downy soft hair on his small head. He seemed so fragile. The responsibility of his wellbeing weighed down on her more than anything ever had. This child had changed her, for the good. He was, and would always be, everything to her.

They named him Draco, after the constellation. It suited the tradition of the Black family of naming their children after constellations and stars. This way, the young Malfoy heir also carried in him parts of his mother's heritage.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy," Lucius spoke the child's names as he held him for the first time. He had been called into the room only when both Narcissa and the baby were presentable again. There was no sign left of blood or sweat. Sheets had been hastily changed for crisp white ones. The women had washed the young mother and changed her into a clean nightgown, her hair brushed and plaited serenely. The baby too had been properly cleaned and examined; his weight and height and reflexes tested by the Healer. And now that he was accurately approved of, he found himself in his father's arms.

"Cissa, I am so grateful," Lucius seated himself by his wife's bedside. Even now he appeared to be his usual composed self, whereas Narcissa felt shaken and exhausted by the aftermaths of labour. "A son, like we hoped for," he smiled, leaning down to press a kiss on her forehead.

"He's perfect, isn't he Lucius?" she responded with a delightful smile. She was propped up against a few pillows that helped her sit up. There was a new sort of glow about her that portrayed her happiness. "He's all I've ever wanted."

"Yes, he is more than perfect. Our little prince," Lucius agreed when he handed him back to Narcissa's waiting arms.

"I'm afraid Cissy must rest now," Druella said, disturbing the young couple. Narcissa would have protested by saying Lucius could stay as long as he liked, but upon her mother's words she realized she was right. Any longer and she feared she might collapse of exhaustion. With only the slightest protest she allowed her mother to take the baby from her so that the grandfathers and uncle might be given a quick glance of him before he would be put to sleep safely in his crib.

Just as Druella left the room with Lucius and the child, Bella re-entered to help her sister to bed. She had just been showing Healer Foxworth out.

"Bella?" Narcissa asked , laying down more comfortably when her sister removed the extra pillows from the bed.

"Yes, Cissy?"

"Do you love him too? I know you dislike children, but you must love him through me." She was already quite drowsy, and uncertain exactly what words left her lips. It was a wonderful relief to find it was all over, and she had not died. Quite the opposite; Narcissa was certain she had never felt so wonderful before.

"The child?"

Narcissa nodded and smiled when she felt her sister sitting down beside her on the bed. She would always feel safe with Bella. All these years when their parents had been so occupied by their desire to have a male heir, Bella had cared for her. In her own way, of course. Of all people including Rodolphus, Narcissa was probably the only one to have seen this side of Bella. Except the other sister. Andromeda. Perhaps that was why Andromeda's betrayal had sent Bella even further into the world of the dark arts. It had hit her harder than anyone else because she and Andie had been so close. Only eleven months apart, they had grown up like twins. There were times Narcissa wanted to talk about her, but she had sworn she would never mention her again.

"You sound delirious, Cissy, you must sleep," Bella covered her with another blanket and Narcissa struggled to keep her eyes open, failing as she could no longer fight the force of sleep.

"Tell me," she persisted weakly.

"I love him through you," her sister assured her, standing up to close the curtains. Narcissa was asleep already ,unable to hear the words her sister added.

"Let's just hope he doesn't look like Malfoy."


	5. Dust to Dust, Ashes to Ashes

**Chapter Five: Dust to Dust, Ashes to Ashes**

_My grief lies all within,  
And these external manners of laments  
Are merely shadows to the unseen grief  
That swells with silence in the tortured soul.  
-William Shakespeare: Richard II_

In the days that followed, Narcissa discovered she was well-suited to motherhood. Young Draco was already the center of his mother's world. Narcissa's recovery from giving birth went well and quickly, since she was young and in good health. After a few days in bed she was allowed to rest on the sofa in the patio instead. The room was bathing in sunlight, a grand improvement from the dimly lit bedchamber. Draco's cradle had been placed by the window, but instead he found himself in his mother's arms almost constantly. He was a very content baby. So far he had only cried for distinct reasons, such as hunger or a wet diaper. Narcissa nursed him herself, despite her mother's and everyone else's protests. She was very intent on this, despite it not being Pureblood custom. Proper ladies did not change diapers or breastfeed. But Narcissa did. On this matter, it seemed Lucius was in full agreement with her. He would want nothing but the best for his son, and what could be better than his very own mother?

"Hello Narcissa."

She looked up at the sound of Severus Snape's voice. He stood in the doorframe, looking terribly out of place under such happy circumstances.

"Oh, Severus, hello. Do come in. How wonderful you've stopped by," she greeted him warmly. Ever since Draco was a day old there had been an endless stream of visitors coming to see the new Malfoy heir. Most were distant relatives she barely knew; it was a relief to see a more familiar face. Especially since Narcissa had to deal with the visitors on her own. Lucius was dreadfully busy with his work for the Dark Lord. He barely had time to sleep, let alone adjust to fatherhood.

"I've come to offer my congratulations," Severus announced, taking a seat by the young mother and her son. "How is he? And you? I must say you both look remarkably well."

"Thank you," she smiled in response. "We're both well," she sat up a little and removed the soft blue blanket from the baby's face so that Severus could get a proper look at him. She could tell the man was not quite at ease, so she decided not to offer he held the baby. It might make him uncomfortable and, more importantly, she preferred to hold him herself. She was very protective of him and so far the only other people that had held him were his father and grandparents.

"He looks like you," Severus responded dutifully.

"Do you really think so?" Narcissa smiled at her sleeping baby. Women had children every day, but only now that she had one for herself did she realize what a miracle it was. In his small features she could already spot traits of herself and Lucius.

"Severus, I am so grateful," she continued, looking up for a brief moment; she could barely tear her eyes away from her son. "Without your help he would not even be here. I will not forget."

"I believe you overestimate my part in it. Even wizards cannot force nature, Narcissa," Severus said. "If we could, we would live in a utopia without death, poverty or any other misfortune. I assure you young Draco would not be here if your body weren't entirely capable of conceiving a child on its own. All the potion did was heighten the chances at the right moment. "

"I suppose you are right," Narcissa agreed finally. It was a relief, somehow.

"In fact, I believe the potion will no longer be necessary should you wish to have other children in the future."

"Oh, I doubt I will want others," Narcissa responded. "I love Draco so much, I don't think I'd be capable of loving another as much," she mused.

"I see," Severus said. "Well, if there is anything I can do to be of use to you, make sure to let me know."

"There is something, now that you mention it." Narcissa sat up to put the baby against her shoulder; he was waking up and started to make little noises of discontent. She rubbed his back, charmed once more by how soft he felt against her body. As natural as if he were meant to be just there.

"Lucius is very busy now, but we've discussed this. We have both come to value you greatly as a friend and you've done so much for both of us. We were wondering if you would do us the honour of becoming Draco's godfather?"

This surely caught Severus off guard. He might have expected any question but this. "Me?" he inquired in surprise. "I admit I didn't expect… Why not choose Rodolphus instead?"

"He would have been the more obvious choice indeed," Narcissa agreed with a quiet laugh. "Yet we've decided to go for the less obvious choice. Lucius and I both feel that, should the need ever arise, you would be able to keep Draco safe. Of course it is likely the job will merely be a symbolic one."

"Of course," he nodded and glanced from mother to baby as if considering. "The honour would be all mine. Draco will have my protection, should the need arise."

* * *

Throughout the months that followed the young family did their best to survive under the unruly circumstances of war. Narcissa devoted herself entirely to her son, attempting to keep all the danger out by locking herself in a bubble of joy. Draco did give her so much joy; she could stare at him for hours without getting bored. He thrived on his mother's milk and looked in perfect health. Narcissa was currently in the drawing room, waiting for Lucius to come home. He was picking up his father from the Ministry of Magic, where Abraxas would arrive by portkey after a hunting trip in Romania. Draco, who was now six months old, had just fallen asleep in her arms. She ought to put him down, but could not bring herself to do so just yet. Perhaps Lucius might like to hold him for a while after he came home. Narcissa could see that he loved his son, yet the interest he showed in him was one of polite interest only. He stated that it was different for men; that a father's role only started truly when the child was older. The mother's role was most important at this stage. She supposed he was right, but at times she was disappointed Lucius did not share her elated state about their son.

Lucius was taking much longer than usual to collect Abraxas. Perhaps the portkey was delayed, Narcissa mused. It was a busy time of the year to travel abroad after all. Yet she could not let go of the thought that something had happened. She was soon proved right, for when a loud '_Crack!'_ announced Lucius's arrival by apparition, he was alone. His face was dark with worry and he appeared to have aged ten years in the course of an hour.

"It's my father," he announced gravely. "He's got dragon pox."

* * *

Narcissa and Draco were immediately transferred to the Lestrange Manor to stay with her sister and brother-in-law. Dragon pox was highly contagious and life-threatening to children and elders. Lucius remained with his father and the Healers and nurses that were immediately called upon. He had had dragon pox as a child, so was no longer prone to contagion.

"Lucius fears he might not come through it," Narcissa said. She sat on the sofa with Bella and Rodolphus, clutching a mug of tea to help warm her up. The whole situation had been quite a fright to her. "He says it's just a matter of time…"

At the very least baby Draco did not appear upset by the situation. In their hurry to leave the house before Abraxas arrived, Narcissa had not had time to collect any of his things. Therefore he now lay sleeping on the other end of the sofa, with pillows on either side to prevent him from rolling off.

"He could last days," Bella commented. "If you ask me the old fool will drag this out to the very last drop, just to annoy everyone."

"It's sad, though," Narcissa frowned, staring into the fireplace. "Especially for Lucius. I wish he could have had a chance at a better relationship with his father. I thought perhaps now that we have the heir Abraxas wanted so much, and with old age…" Who was she fooling, though? Abraxas would have never softened up, and he would never be the father Lucius so needed. Nothing his son did was ever good enough. Even now they had Draco; there was always something to criticize.

"How will Lucius take it?" Rodolphus inquired, seeming more interested in the baby than his wife.

Narcissa sometimes wondered if Bella's dislike for children was truly genuine or whether it had something to do with her inability to conceive one of her own. Bella's infertility had been discovered during the examination before her wedding to Rodolphus. It was custom Pureblood girls were examined beforehand to make sure they were as 'pure' as their blood, and capable of childbearing. Not that Bella had ever been maternal, but she had wanted to do her duty. By then she had already been involved with the Death Eaters, though, and would soon discover her destiny lay elsewhere. And Rodolphus had married her anyway, leaving the task to provide an heir up to his brother Rabastan. So supposedly all had turned out right, but now that Narcissa knew the joys of motherhood she could not imagine anyone would come to terms with infertility.

"I expect it will be very hard on him," she answered Rodolphus's question. "And it's such a ghastly illness, too. We won't be able to enter the house until it's cleansed completely after his death. It might take days. I do worry about the funeral arrangements. All these people that will want to attend, from all across Europe."

"Don't you worry over that now," Bella eased her. "What's mine is yours, we can lodge them here and you stay as long as you need. It would be a nuisance, though," she sighed and stood up to pour herself another much-needed drink. "I do hate playing the benevolent hostess."

The waiting did not take as long as Bella had predicted; the very same evening Lucius arrived by Floo powder. At first Narcissa had thought he would simply come and tell them how things were, but his face looked so grave the message was obvious.

"It's over," Lucius said, entering the room with a look of gloom and disbelief on his face.

Narcissa's desire to comfort her husband was overwhelming. It struck her how lost he seemed. She embraced him before he had the chance to say any more and clung to him as if trying to make things all right with her warmth.

"Darling," she spoke quietly, "I am so sorry."

Instead of responding to his wife's embrace, Lucius rather pulled away from it. He sank down in an armchair, covering his face with his hands. For a moment Narcissa wondered whether he was crying, but when he looked back up his eyes were as dry as ever.

"It's too late to summon the undertaker now," he spoke, focusing mainly on practicalities. "We'll have to do that in the morning. There's a lot of work to be done. Hundreds of people… We can duplicate the invitations but we'll have to write out the addresses… He wanted golden ink. "

Narcissa crouched down on the floor in front of his chair and took his hands. "We'll manage, Lucius," she said quietly, pressing a kiss to his hands. "We'll help you with everything, but you have to think about yourself now. Can I get you anything? A drink? Have you eaten at all?" she reached out to caress a strand of hair from his face, but he stopped her.

"Not now, Narcissa," he said sternly.

Narcissa looked a little lost at her husband's response. She had prepared herself to fully devote herself to his grief and needs. That he would not be receptive to her attentions she had hardly considered. But this was a broken man. Ever since his youth Lucius had formed his life to suit his father's will, and it was never good enough. It never would have been, but Lucius was blind to that knowledge and sought the fault in himself. All he could see now was that his father had died thinking him a worthless son, and would take that perception with him to eternity.

"We'll be upstairs, let me know if you need anything," Bella broke the awkward moment by embracing her sister briefly, before she turned to Lucius. "Lucius. My condolences."

Rodolphus followed suit, but Lucius could barely incline his head in acceptance, lost in his own bleeding heart.

* * *

They had been given a suite that matched the splendor of their own manor. The Lestranges were a match to the Malfoys in wealth and heritage, so their manors were equally spacious and decorated in the Victorian style so often used in Pureblood ancestry. Narcissa had chosen to keep the baby in the room with them. She worried he would be upset if he woke up in a strange room, especially since he was bound to notice there was something wrong anyway. She had quickly transfigured a chair into a cradle and was now lovingly tucking Draco in. Lucius, meanwhile, had already laid down on top of the covers fully-clothed, simply staring at the ceiling. They were in for a long night.

To give him some time to be alone, Narcissa quietly slipped into the bathroom adjacent to their room. She took her time changing and preparing herself for the night while she carefully listened whether the baby was crying. He usually slept through the nights now, but had never spent the night out of the comforts of his own nursery.

"Lucius, are you asleep?" she finally whispered upon her return. All the lights were off, and with the absence of the moon the room bathed in complete darkness. Somehow she found her way to the bed.

"No, I'm awake," he admitted.

She attempted to embrace him again. She would have given him her body for comfort should he desire it, but he wanted nothing. He laid rigid and barely responsive, causing her to give up eventually.

Neither of them slept that night. Lucius because of his grief; unable to express himself. The traditional Pureblood upbringing was after all quick to call anything emotional a sign of weakness. Several times during the night they were disturbed by their crying son, unusually fussy. It was almost as if Draco understood what was wrong, and shed the tears his father could not.

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Author's Note: Thank you for all the reads and lovely reviews so far! I love feedback, so keep them coming ;) See you all next chapter!


	6. Forgiving the Unforgiveables

**Chapter Six: Forgiving the Unforgiveables**

_"The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?"__  
-Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: The Hound of the Baskervilles_

The death of his father had changed Lucius. His temper grew shorter and the rare moments he could spend with his family, he was often found deep in thought. The war raged on like never before. It demanded all of Lucius's time and energy. Narcissa was forced to watch by the sideline how he seemed to slip from her fingers. They had been married for over two years now. It sounded like quite some time, but in truth it was nothing.

The Dark Lord fell in the year Draco had turned one. It was a shock to some, but the end of war was no true surprise. The situation beforehand had reached such a state it was bound to escalate eventually. Lucius had brought the news with him when he returned that evening. He had not been involved directly, but Bella had summoned all the Death Eaters to inform them. There had been a prophecy, about a child. A child from the Potters, about the same age as Draco. Nobody understood. Narcissa, too, could hardly believe what she was hearing.

"But I don't understand," she said in disbelief, her eyes round with shock. "A child, as small as Draco... How can this be?"

"No one understands, Cissa," Lucius sank down on the sofa by his wife and put his arms around her. "But he is gone. This changes everything," he told her.

It felt good to have Lucius hold her like that. She had missed his attentions when he was so utterly consumed by his job as a Death Eater. It made her wonder if his words were true; would things truly change? And where would they go from here?

"Cissa, they will come for me. The Aurors," he continued when she did not immediately respond. "I carry the Dark Mark."

She could read fear in his eyes. Her husband was not a lost cause yet. He had regrets, as he had always had. There were only a few number of true believers in this war, and Lucius had never been one of those. He was not a very brave man perhaps, but he was her man. She would stand by him no matter what. She was a dutiful wife, and a good mother that wanted her family to remain complete.  
"We will figure something out," she whispered in the darkness. Her lips found his in a way they had not for a long time. "I love you so much. You've given me a son, you've given me everything."

Ever since Draco's birth they had ceased their intimacies. The job was done; the heir was born. Of course these were the eighties now; the fact that lovemaking could have other, pleasurable purposes too was no longer a well-kept secret. But it remained an unrevealed secret to Narcissa. The few times Lucius had shown her how pleasant it could be for her, did not weigh up to the times it was a chore to be done. He had never pushed things, and she was grateful for that, but the memory was unpleasant enough to bring on her nerves each time sexual contact was even hinted at.

"Narcissa...," Lucius pulled away from her embrace to watch her more intently. "I know I haven't been the right husband for you," he started, but she stopped him with another, gentle kiss.

"There is no blame on you. The stress of the war got to all of us." She knew it was not really an excuse. Her husband had engaged himself in unspeakable horrors under the Dark Lord's command. Even if she was ignorant of the exact details, she was well aware of this. A bit of regret or cold feet towards the end would not be enough to make up what Lucius did.

"We must do all we can to protect our family. Draco must be safe, and he needs both his parents." she continued, sounding more sure of herself than she ever had. "His safety is what matters the most. It is the only thing that matters. His father cannot go to Azkaban, Lucius."

What could Lucius do, but agree to such true words? He had no intention of going to Azkaban. No one went to Azkaban and came out sane, even if they weren't subjected to the Dementor's Kiss.

* * *

Lucius plead Pro-Imperius at the Ministry of Magic, just like many of the other Death Eaters. Narcissa testified for her husband, claiming his deeds for the Dark Lord had been performed under the influence of the Imperius curse. She did well, being the good actress that she was. She remained composed and spoke quietly of how terrified they had been of the Dark Lord. How Lucius had been unable to do anything but comply to the Dark Lord's commands, fearing the safety of their young son. She did this for him, out of sheer love. One of the witches in the jury even cried during her testimony. Perhaps she understood the distress of a young family being caught up in the war. There had been no Imperius curse, of course, but she had spoken few lies. She knew Lucius had feared the Dark Lord and she had seen what his deeds had done to him.

It was not a happy ending. Even if Lucius had been let off the hook, the Aurors were still at large searching for the Death Eaters that had not come to the Ministry voluntarily to plead their case. Bella and Rodolphus had not been captured just yet, but Narcissa knew it was only a matter of time. Especially if they continued to be so careless.

Bella had come over for dinner tonight. It was obvious this put Lucius at unease. His name had only so recently been cleared; if he were to be seen in the presence of a suspected Death Eater, the Ministry might change their minds. It worried Narcissa too, but in the same time she could not do without her sister. She had thought it a good thing to talk things over. She should have thought twice.

"Unlike _some _people, Rodolphus and I have every reason to believe the Dark Lord is still out there," Bella started, pointedly glaring at Lucius as Dobby refilled their glasses with red wine.

"Lucius is only trying to do what is the safest for our family," Narcissa said.

"I can speak for myself, Narcissa," Lucius intervened. He did not at all look pleased. In fact, he had not looked pleased at all. Even now he was still suffering. There was the need to build up a new life, and in the same time there were old friends and family from his old life getting in the way. Instead of the relief he had hoped to feel after his trial, there was a new rollercoaster of strain attempting to bring him down.

"The Dark Lord is gone," he continued intently, sipping his wine as if not at all distressed by his sister-in-law. "I believe we have no choice but to build up a new life, rather than dwell on the old one forever." His eyes squinted at Bella, as if challenging her to doubt his words.

Bella hardly needed the challenge. Any word against her Dark Lord was enough to set her off. Her eyes turned cold. Ice cold. "I have no doubt the Dark Lord is still out there. The question is not if, but _when _he will return. And when he does, he will know his true followers. You will not escape his wrath, _Lucius._"

"Bella, please," Narcissa said. She could feel the tension rising in the dining hall. Lucius and her sister had never gotten along, but things had never escalated as they seemed about to now. "Let's not make things difficult," she pleaded quietly. She already knew she would not be able to choose sides between her husband and her sister.

"I'm not the one that makes things difficult, Cissy. But let me tell you this. Rod and I are planning something. It's dangerous with all the aurors around, but we feel we have no choice. We would do everything to find the whereabouts of the Dark Lord. And we will, or go down trying."

"You're mad," Lucius commented, seeming flabbergasted. "You would go to Azkaban for this? While you could avoid it by a simple lie?"

"I would do anything for the Dark Lord. People could write a book full of my sins, but cowardice and disloyalty will not be included. And _that _is the difference between us," Bella concluded haughtily. She didn't need to raise her voice; her mere words stung enough.

There was a clatter of cutlery as Lucius stood up suddenly, a rage darkening his features. "Enough. I will not be insulted in my own house. _Leave_," he fumed.

"Lucius!" Narcissa gasped. How many more wars would they have to endure even in the Dark Lord's absence?

"Don't worry Cissy," Bella stood up quite calmly. "I don't need further encouragement. I have no business here. I know where I belong. And I know it isn't on the same page as your husband." Her eyes were full of fire now, a quick change from the ice cold attitude she had sported before.

* * *

Narcissa followed her sister back into the hallway. "Bella! Bella, just wait," she stopped her sister at the front door and took hold of her hands. "I'm terribly sorry. Lucius... He hasn't been himself lately. It's his father. And the war. It's everything."

"I don't blame you. You can't help it you've married a coward," Bella snapped impatiently. It was obvious she was on edge, and it was a miracle both she and Lucius were still in one piece. "The only reason I haven't hexed him right on the spot is because of you. One more word and I would have drawn my wand."

"I'll go back, I'll have him see reason. You can't quarrel with Lucius, not now," Narcissa protested quietly.

"Don't bother. Cisys. But I must tell you: this may have been the last time we've seen each other."

Narcissa's face fell upon these words. She was nothing without Bella. "You can't really mean that. What is it you're planning? Bella..." Panic formed inside of her. She was nothing without her sister.  
Bella's hands clutched her shoulders tightly as their eyes locked. Everyone was always quick to notice the difference between the two sisters. Dark and fair. Bold and gentle. Leader and follower. But anyone fortunate enough to know both could see that there were similarities. Narcissa, too, could be strong with determination. But Narcissa could not see that now. She could only feel the tears forming behind her eyes.

"Now, nothing's sure," Bella said, her voice gentler now. "Perhaps we'll get away with it. I have no choice, Cissy. Every part of me screams I must find the Dark Lord. He's out there somewhere. And he _needs _me. He needs me more now than you ever have or will. You are so much stronger than you know." She reached out to wipe away the lone tear that rolled down Narcissa's cheek.

"I'm not strong," Narcissa whispered, feeling herself tremble in her attempts to keep herself together.

"Yes, you are. But you must not let Malfoy get to you, do you hear me? I don't trust him. I never have. If I ever find out he cranked as much as one hair on your head, I will make him wish he turned himself into Azkaban," Bella hissed in response, her fury flaring up again at the mention of her brother-in-law.

"Lucius is good to me," Narcissa assured her. "He wants me and Draco to be safe. You needn't be concerned about that."

"I'll decide that for myself. Be extra careful without me," she pressed on.

It sounded so certain when Bella spoke of herself being gone. Narcissa didn't dare ask again or even think of what she had planned to get into such danger. It was all she could do to hold in further tears.

"All right," she finally whispered, letting go of her sister.

She watched Bella disappear into the dark night. She was dressed entirely in black, so that it was soon hard to see her walk towards the gate behind which she could disapparate. At this point, Narcissa had no clue she would not see her sister until over a decade. Nor had she any way of knowing which of Bella's predictions for the future would come true, carrying with them a darkness worse even than what the war had shown her thus far.

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Author's Note: THanks to my 'loyal' reviewers, I"m very grateful for your helpful and encouraging comments :) Next chapter more darkness I think, hope you're all still with me then ;) Keep the reviews coming, I love them so much, makes me write more :) xx Until next chapter!


	7. The Aftermath of War

**Author's Note/ Warning: **I never thought I'd write this, but this chapter includes a non-consensual (rape) scene (non-graphic!). Perhaps it is darker than some of you would like, but I felt it contributed to underlining just how ruined even the 'dark side' is after the war. And of course there is always the question whether the 'dark ones' are truly dark, or whether the war has made them so. I hope I won't lose you guys over this decision, it will play a role in the rest of the plot. Enjoy the read!

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**Chapter Seven: The Aftermath of War**

_"Treachery and violence are spears pointed at both ends; they wound those who resort to them worse than their enemies."__  
-Emily Brontë_

Whatever mission it was Bella and Rodolphus had planned for themselves, Narcissa did not know. What she did know, was that they did not return. She had tried to contact them several times, but no reply ever came. And so the Malfoys found themselves facing yet another sleepless night. It was nearing midnight, and Narcissa paced the drawing room with a sleeping Draco in her arms. He had awoken from a nightmare earlier and she preferred to keep him close to her. He was eighteen months old now. His little, warm body against her heart made it easier to keep hope, even if she knew deep down that all was lost. Bella had seen this coming, and had still taken the risk. Narcissa could not understand. The Dark Lord was gone. Lucius said so. Everybody said so. It had felt like such a relief at first, when she thought it was all over. Now it seemed everything was starting again, with different fears equally distressing.

"Cissa, you must go to bed," Lucius stood in the doorframe of the drawing room she was pacing. "And put the baby down, it's almost midnight." He spoke quietly so he would not wake their sleeping son, but Narcissa could hear the strain in his voice. He didn't want any of this. He probably thought Bella was best off in Azkaban. Or worse.

"Something's happened to her, Lucius," she replied, not ceasing the pacing. It gave her a way to deal with her nerves. "They've been caught, they must have been," her voice broke as she stated the obvious. But there were so many questions, still. They had to be sure. Had to know if Bella was still alive at least. People always said going to Azkaban was worse than death, but Narcissa just wanted her sister alive. "I want you to go and find out what's happened," she breathed, tears rolling down her eyes. She was a Black and a Malfoy, those did not cry. But she cried tonight. There were special circumstances tonight that appeared to justify every out of ordinairy behaviour.

"I am not a fool, Narcissa!" Lucius crossed the room and made her stand still, his hands resting on her shoulders. "To get caught red-handed, looking for the two Death Eaters most wanted by the Ministry? Is that what you want for me, after all we've been through?"

He sounded so angry. More like ever before. If this was over, if it ever would be, what would remain of her husband then?

"I need to know what's happened to Bella," she whispered in response. Draco stirred in her arms, but he did not wake. He was ever a sound sleeper, preferring to surround himself in the comforting world of dreamland while the real world crumbled around him. If only his mother would have had that same talent.

"I have done so much for you. I never hesitated to do anything you've asked of me. This is all I would ever ask of you," Narcissa continued, no longer attempting to hide the tears in her eyes. This was despair at its highest.

And he complied. This one time, Lucius Malfoy agreed to meet the demands of his wife. Despite everything. For her. Not for Bellatrix, but for Narcissa. So that she may find some peace, if she still had it in her. When he returned to the Manor, Narcissa had fallen asleep on the sofa in the drawing room. She looked so young in sleep. The war had aged them all, but Narcissa really was only a girl of nineteen. In sleep, it was as if she had no worries. As if she were perfectly happy. Lucius knew that would all change once he woke her, and he hated that change.

"Cissa..." he spoke her name quietly as he crouched by her. He reached out to stroke a strand of hair behind her ear.

Slowly, she opened her eyes. When she landed back into the land of the living, she remembered immediately what was going on. Pushing his hand off her, she sat up. "Do you have news?" she inquired. "Have you found out what's happened to them?"

"I have..." Lucius sat back on his heels and studied his wife's response. "I am afraid... we must consider your sister gone. And Rodolphus too. And Barty Crouch."

Narcissa was so agitated lately, so full of anxieties. Lucius feared this would ruin her. Like the war had ruined him. He was a different man now; a man he did not like.

She looked lost for the moment, her eyes wide in disbelief. Her small body starting to tremble. Of all things, this was among the things she had feared the most. To lose one of the people she loved so dearly. Bella, what would she be without Bella? Her dear sister. So unkind to anyone but her. The sister who had raised her, while her mother was only interested in new pregnancies that might result in the so needed male heir.

She only responded when she felt her husband's lips on hers. "Cissa, love, you mustn't be afraid. We can get through this. You have me, still."

"No!" Narcissa sobbed, pulling away in a reflex. She stood up and started pacing the room as she had before, unable to find rest. "We must do something! She'll have a trial, won't she? We'll testify! If she pleads innocent, we can tell them she was under the Imperius curse!" She spoke her words very rapidly, barely pausing to breathe in between sentences. Everything was falling apart and so was she.

"Narcissa, cease that," Lucius strode over to stop her paces, setting her on the sofa. "Pull yourself together, you are being hysterical. You know better than this," he spoke firmly. He was unused to berating his wife like a child, but if she continued to behave like this he had no choice but to intervene.

Narcissa knew she was upsetting herself, but for the first time she could not control herself. She was almost hyperventilating, her breathing fast and irregular. "You have to do something," she whimpered, clinging to his hand.

"Shh now," Lucius poured her a glass of wine. "You know very well there is nothing we can do against the Dementors. This day has lasted far too long already. Go upstairs and drink this. I'll be up shortly. I need a moment to recollect myself."

She could tell he was unimpressed with her behaviour, but how could he understand? Lucius had never loved anyone in his family like she loved Bella.

She did go upstairs as recommended. After a quick check up on Draco, peacefully dreaming in his crib in the nursery, she went to bed. She sipped the wine in the hope that it would calm her nerves, and then stepped into bed fully-clothed. She had no energy to change. She had no energy for anything. She curled up into foetus position, hugging her knees to her chest while she sobbed quietly. Lucius wouldn't tolerate such weakness. But it was dark and she cried without noise; nothing he would be able to hear downstairs. She wished she were stronger. Bella had said she was stronger than she knew, but how was this being strong? She went to pieces without her sister, and Lucius understood none of it. If anything, she was sure her response _bothered _him. And she could not decide which was worse.

When Lucius finally came up, Narcissa had shed many tears. Her pillow was soaked, but she felt too tired to cry more. Instead, she simply stared into the darkness of the room.

"Have you calmed down?" Lucius asked, not unkindly, while he prepared himself for bed.

"Yes," Narcissa responded in barely more than a whisper. She did not blame him for his disapproval of her emotions. Anyone that had grown up with only Abraxas Malfoy would have lacked healthy emotional responses. And she herself had been brought up in much the same way, save for the fact that her own father had always doted on her as his youngest daughter.

"I am sorry about your sister, you know," Lucius finally said as he joined her in the bed.

Narcissa could feel his arms around her from behind and turned on her back so that she could face him.

"Bella made her choices. We've opted for the more safe one," he ran his fingers through her hair. "We shall make things better together, Cissa. This is a new start."

"It's not a new start without Bella," she whispered, unable to join his optimism. She would need time. "Are you sure there's nothing you can do? At the trial.."

"Shh," he cut her off with a kiss, attempting to take her mind off things by showing just how they could make a fresh start together.

"Lucius, no. Not tonight," she pushed him off her, weakly. She could sense he had had too much Firewhiskey. It was on his breath, and his eyes appeared bloodshot, too. It was highly unlike Lucius to drink too much. Of course they did appreciate fine wines and he had a collection of the most excellent brandies and Firewhiskeys, but he always knew where to draw the limit. Tonight must have been especially hard on him.

Much to her shock, he did not retreat. Instead, she felt him on top of her, his strength and weight not a match to her own.

"Lucius, you're hurting me," she gasped.

"I have needs, Narcissa. And if you continue like this, our household will be the laughing stock of society. Your sister is mad," he breathed against her, irresponsive to her struggles. "It is about time you start seeing that. You're _my _wife, not a Lestrange, nor a Black anymore."

If anything, Narcissa was too shocked to even respond. This wasn't really happening. It must be a bad dream. And yet everything felt frighteningly real as she felt his rough hands lift up her dress, and tear off her panties. A dry sob left her throat.

"You cannot continue like this. You're one step away from people knowing your loyalty lies with your sister. What do you think they'll say? I work harder than anyone at the Ministry to clear my name, and you'd give that all up. Do I mean nothing to you? And what about our son?"

She cried out when he entered her. It was too shocking, too appalling to grasp. Lucius. Her husband. She had trusted him. She had thought she loved him, and he her. They would have had a chance together, once her grief over her sister's imprisonment improved. How dare he bring their son into this. She would do anything for Draco.

"Please! Luciust, stop!" she exclaimed, struggling against his grip. His hands were tight on her shoulders, pushing her down into the mattress as he took his pleasure from her reluctant body. It hurt now more than ever, her body unable to adjust without the slightest arousal for lubrication. But that pain was not the worst. The pain she felt at being so utterly disappointed in her husband was much, much worse.

It did not take long for him to finish. His breathing came fast and irregular, barely recovering when he finally rolled off of her after spilling his seed inside of her.

She was left broken. And yet it was hard to decide which of them was worse off. He might not know it now, but this had ruined him, too, and whatever life he had pictured for the both of them. He said nothing. Narcissa could only hope he was ashamed of himself and what he had done. It was how she felt. Ashamed, and dirty. But she daren't move, afraid to enrage his anger again or to encourage him for a repeat performance somehow. She wouldn't be able to handle that.

Very quietly she laid there, breathing as slowly as she could. It took all of her power to stop herself from trembling uncontrollably. When she was finally sure he was asleep, she stood up and made her way into the bathroom. Not the one adjacent to their room, but another one, attached to one of the suites. If there was anything she needed right now, it was to be alone. Hands trembling, she turned on the shower and stepped under it, pulling the remainders of her clothes off in the process. The hot water burned her skin, but she embraced the feeling. She needed for it to cleanse her. Allowing it to mix with her tears, she sank down to her knees as she cried. This life, she had been so proud of it. She had been so proud to call Lucius her husband, but now she wished they had never met.

Narcissa stayed in the shower for a long time. She had no idea how long, exactly, but when she got out finally her skin was red and raw, her legs barely able to carry her. All she could think of was how none of this would ever be the same. And how none of this would have happened with her sister still around.

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**Author's note:** Shocked? Happy? Click the review button and let me know :) See you next chapter!


	8. Song of Melancholy

**Chapter Eight: Song of Melancholy**

_For, what other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self!__  
-Nathaniel Hawthorne : The House of Seven Gables_

There was no greater time to reveal bravery than in despair. Narcissa tried very hard to hold herself together after what had happened. It took a strength she had never known she possessed, but the morning after she appeared at breakfast as usual. She refused to show her husband she was hurt. Furthermore, it would not do for Draco to discover something was wrong.

She had taken extra time to make herself look presentable today. She had not at all slept, so when she finally got up at 6 AM it was a relief to do so. Carefully applied layers of make-up concealed the tearstains on her pale cheeks as well as the dark circles under her eyes. Her hair had been brushed until it shone impressively, and her outfit selected as if preparing for an important reception. When she entered the dining hall for breakfast to be served, no one would be able to guess the night she had suffered.

Lucius had suffered more visibly. He looked older than he ever had; bags under his eyes and lines on his face Narcissa had never seen before. His shock was obvious when he found her already seated at the table, stirring her tea as if it were any ordinairy day.

"Good morning, Lucius."

"Darling," he spoke, hesitating as he stood by the breakfast table. "I..."

She intervened before he had a chance to find the right words. There were no right words, either way. "Aren't you sitting down?"

He did sit down. Overall he still looked as if he understood none of this, and it gave Narcissa a feeling of triumph. She could do it. She could be strong, after all. Bella would be proud.

"Narcissa, I am so sorry," Lucius finally managed to say. "I understand nothing I can say..."

"What are you talking about?" she looked up as if making normal conversation. But her insides were crumbling. Wouldn't she love to reduce herself to a tearful damsel in distress again and throw herself in his arms, forgiving him now that he showed his regrets. Telling him she would forget if he would, that they had a chance yet of a happy life together. But she could not do that. In a few moments he had broken their future together.

"Cissa, please," he tried, staring at her. What she wouldn't give to look inside his head this morning to read his thoughts. Perhaps he thought it had all been a bad dream. When he reached out to take her hand, though, she flinched away from his touch.

"Do not touch me," she hissed. "For the sake of our son, we will do our best to appear happy, but you must _never _touch me again." With that said, she stood up and put her empty cup down. She then disappeared upstairs to the safety of the nursery to go and bathe little Draco, who lay oblivious as ever in his crib.

"Good morning, my darling," she whispered, lifting the happy, blond boy up in her arms and hugging him to her. He babbled excitedly in his own toddler's language. Narcissa held her boy close and breathed in the sweet scent of his hair.

"You're mother's darling aren't you?" she cooed as she took him into the bathroom with her to run his bath. This was the only escape for her now. To busy herself with her son and surround herself with his happiness. And yet there was a bittersweet edge to it, for she could only pretend to be happy.

She filled the marble bathtub with a small layer of water while she undressed Draco. Once he was in the tub, she filled it with rainbow-coloured bubbles and delicious scented bath oil. With her wand she charmed a rubber duck to float through the water by itself, which drew a series of laughs from the child. He splashed around the tub in his attempts to grab the duck and showed obvious delight when he managed.

"Duckie!" Draco exclaimed in excitement.

Narcissa was certain her boy was a sensitive child. She feared he sensed something was wrong, for now and then he looked at her with an expression too serious for a one year-old. She then smiled bravely and pointed out the colours of bubbles to him, which proved sufficiently distracting.

It took a lot from her to keep up this appearance. Grief was constantly present in her entire body. It consumed her, making any other feeling or thought impossible. The toast she had had for breakfast weighed down heavily on her stomach. Her head was pounding, and her very senses were alert for any sound of Lucius being near. He would have gone to the Ministry by now, though, which should give her some peace for the rest of the day. Only it did not. Narcissa would not be able to feel peace again for a very long time.

* * *

Throughout the weeks that followed, people tried to rebuild their lives. Lucius constantly worked overtime at the Ministry, and many others followed suit. Severus proved an exception by accepting a teaching job at Hogwarts. And yet other things never changed. While the Malfoys laid low for a while, it was not long before they started receiving invitations to society events again. All of these things might give people the impression they were doing well. Nothing was further from the truth, though. While everybody appeared to rebuild their life, Narcissa's was crumbling.

She tried very hard to keep herself up, but it was not long before her act was failing her. It started out by little things, but soon gossip said Mrs Malfoy was losing her touch. She mixed up invitations; appearing highly overdressed for a mere garden party, and terribly casual for a grand ball. The new chairs she ordered for the dining hall clashed horribly with the rugs. And what was more, she fell back into an old habit: in times of distress, primary functions such as sleeping and eating proved impossible to her. Nights were endless torture. She spent hours staring at the dark ceiling, unable to let the oblivion of sleep take her over. Meals were a chore. How could she eat, when she was full of thoughts and memories filling not only her head, but her entire body? It was not long before her appearance changed from an attractive young woman, to a sad shadow barely recognizable. The bags under her eyes could barely be covered by make-up. She lost so much weight her bones were sticking out. But she kept going, for her son.

Draco was the only joy her life had left. He was a delightful and bright child, in Narcissa's subjective opinion. He could walk and run now, and his vocabulary was expanding by the day. It hurt her to leave him with the nanny today. She and Lucius had agreed to hire one when their life had become particularly busy, but Narcissa hardly made use of her services. She preferred to keep her son with her. And now especially, she found she couldn't last a day without him. This afternoon she had gone to visit her mother, though, and had left Draco at home because he seemed to be coming down with a cold.

It was strange to be back at _Ravensden, _the house she had grown up in. Just a few years ago she had lived here, and now she was a mere guest waiting until the house elf had announced her presence to her mother.

"Cissy, finally!" her mother exclaimed as she came down the stairs to kiss her daughter's cheeks in greeting. "I was just telling your father this morning I thought you'd forgotten all about your parents!"

Druella Black was a middle-aged woman that looked just like Bellatrix. She possessed the same midnight black curls and the characteristic heavy-lidded eyes and sharp chin. She was not the sort of woman one would want for an enemy. It was no wonder where Bella got her temper from.

"Of course not, mother. Lucius and I have just been very busy," Narcissa explained, following her mother into the drawing room. An elf was summoned to bring the two ladies some tea.

"Yes, I expected as much. How is he doing at the Ministry? I hear he's making quite a positive impression there."

"Indeed," Narcissa said, suddenly wondering why she had come. She was not in the mood for conversation, or even for company at all. Especially not her mother's overbearing company. She had thought coming here would be comforting somehow. A reminder of her childhood, and of her sister. Of how happy she had been here, once. Unfortunately coming here only seemed to make it more obvious how very far from happy she was now.

"Heavens, Cissy, you look so thin. Do you eat at all?" Druella frowned as she took her time to inspect her daughter's appearance. "Is everything quite all right? I thought you'd be happy, now Lucius is doing so well. That man seems to do well in anything he does, doesn't he?" she laughed. "You must be so proud."

"I... yes," Narcissa responded quietly, feeling her mouth go dry. "Proud."

It was obvious Lucius was consumed by regrets. The little time he was able to spend at home he never failed to bring her flowers, or jewels, but she could barely look at him. It was best when he was at the Ministry.

"And you're awfully quiet, too. More than usual. Whatever is the matter? Honestly, Narcissa, you have no idea of the stress your father and I have to put up with because of your sister," Druella shook her head as she continued. "Now you will never hear us say the Wizarding World should be a melting pot with muggle society, but the world has changed. She should have laid low like the rest of us when the Dark Lord fell. But of course Bella was always so keen on causing havoc. Even as a child, she could go nowhere without making a scene of some kind. To be honest, I never had good hopes for her."

Whatever Narcissa had hoped to gain from this visit, it proved another disappointment. She had hoped she would be able to talk about Bellatrix with her mother, but not like this. How could she have forgotten, that this was a woman that so easily discarded her children when they were no longer of use to her?

"Do your children mean that little to you?" she could not stop herself from asking. After all, Bella was not the only child her mother had renounced.

As a child Narcissa had sometimes compared her mother's eyes to those of a basilisk when she was enraged. She was reminded of that now. Whatever bravery she had felt when she posed her question, she quickly regretted it now.

"I shall pretend I didn't hear such an outrageous comment. Have you any idea how much your father and I have done for you? Really Narcissa, I never expected you to be this ungrateful. The trouble it cost us to make sure the Malfoys would still have you as Lucius's bride when your sister eloped. The shame of those days, it still gives me nightmares," Druella finally spoke.

By now Narcissa was merely clutching her teacup with more force than the porcelain was used to. The problem was, her strengths were reduced to a bare minimum. The slightest push and she was ready to fall over. She had no one to confide in anymore. It had always been her sister. The friends she had left were merely interested in the status of Mrs Malfoy. She had thought her mother would bring her closest to her sister, but the distance had never been more obvious. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks before she could stop them. She had stopped them for so many times and for so long that of course they came out at the worst of moments.

"Sweet Merlin, Cissy, what brought this on?" Druella said, seating herself next to her daughter on the sofa by the fireplace.

Narcissa was upset enough to mistake her mother's word for genuine interest. She allowed her head to rest on her mother's shoulder as sobs wrecked her fragile body. How long had she been desperate for comfort? For too long she had carried her sorrow alone, causing her heart not to cry, but to bleed.

"It's Lucius, is it?" Druella stated when Narcissa proved unable to form coherent words. "I could tell something was wrong the moment you walked in. Has he hurt you?"

Unwilling to allow herself to hear the sharp undertone, Narcissa nodded in response. If only she could be a child again, when the worst of her troubles could be solved with a kind word or two.

"What has he done, then? You must understand Lucius has a lot to put up with these days".

"He has forced himself upon me," Narcissa finally whispered, barely audible.

Druella was silent for a while, allowing her daughter's words to sink in. "I see," she finally concluded. "You haven't been denying him his needs, have you?"

The shock on Narcissa's face told her all she needed to know.

"A man has needs, Narcissa. Especially a man as powerful as Lucius. Your role in that doesn't stop now that you have a son."

"But mother…" Narcissa wasn't sure what response she had expected, but not this. She should have known better than to count on compassion from her mother. If anything she felt more ashamed now, and wished she had said nothing.

"In fact, you're lucky he still shows an interest in you at all. Many men put their wives aside after they have an heir, you know. They take on one mistress after the other. At least Lucius is loyal. Or highly discrete, which is just as good," Druella shrugged.

"Is that how I should feel? Lucky?" Narcissa whispered, an edge to her voice her mother was bound to notice even if her voice was thick with tears.

"Of course. Do you know how many girls would do anything to be married to Lucius?" Druella said, pretending not to hear the irony in her daughter's voice. And I hate to say this Cissy, but the way you look now, it's miraculous he still shows any sort of interest in you. When have you last seen a hairdresser? Or a bed, for that matter?"

She handed Narcissa a handkerchief to dry her eyes with, since the younger woman proved too upset to say anything in return, still. Or perhaps she had simply given up.

"It's not a lost cause. You and Lucius started off quite well didn't you?" Druella continued, a little kinder now. "Here's what you'll do: visit a Healer this afternoon and ask for some Pepperup Potion. It clears the most fowl of moods. And when you get home, have a pumpkin pastry. Merlin knows you could use one, and I don't often say that, especially not to a woman that's given birth. Usually that's the end of a girl's figure."

"Yes mother," Narcissa said quietly. She just wanted to leave, get back to her son, and forget every part of this disastrous visit. It had only made her feel worse. And ashamed, as if she had failed miserably at every part of life so far. And how could she do better now, now that she didn't even have Bella to guide her anymore?

* * *

She did go and see Healer Foxworth that afternoon. He usually came to the Manor when they needed his services, so the older man was surprised to see her at his practise in Diagon Alley. He let her in immediately, despite the full waiting room.

"What can I do for you, Mrs Malfoy?" he inquired, studying her over his horn-rimmed glasses.

Narcissa was only planning on getting the Pepperup Potion without revealing too much details on her state of being. This man was the private Healer to many of society's Pureblood families; he probably knew more secrets than good for him. Why was it always the highest in society that carried the darkest secrets?

"My mother advised me to ask you for some Pepperup Potion," she started. "I've been feeling a little ... off, lately."

"Indeed," the Healer responded. "You do look a little pale, if I may say so, madam. We usually use Pepperup Potion for a bad cold, but sometimes it's also used to revive ones spirits somewhat. I'll need to examine you first. Protocol, I'm afraid. The potion has a few nasty side effects when used by some, so I shall just have to make sure it's all right for you. Nobody wants a law suit, right?" he said cheerfully while he showed her the way to the examination room that was adjacent to his office.

Narcissa hardly felt like being examined, but she supposed it wouldn't do to leave now. And perhaps the potion would truly help her feel better.

She closed her eyes when Healer Foxworth did his standard examination spells. The lights seemed very bright and she was rather dizzy. And tired. So tired she almost dozed off. It took her a few moments to realise the Healer was talking to her.

"Mrs Malfoy?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Narcissa responded, quickly sitting up – which increased the dizziness even further. "I didn't sleep very well last night. What was it you were saying?"

"I was saying you won't be able to take the Pepperup Potion," Healer Foxworth responded, looking positively concerned. She must look terrible, if her appearance matched her feelings.

"Oh? Why not?"

" You won't be able to take the potion, because it carries a risk to the unborn child.I believe congratulations are in order. You are expecting again."

Narcissa wanted to say something. She wanted to say many things, but as she tried to stand up from the examination table, everything turned black.


	9. Shadows of Darkness

**Chapter Nine: Shadows of Darkness**

The world was a very dark place from that day on. Where Narcissa had dragged herself through the days at first, she found she could no longer do so. The news of her pregnancy had delivered the last blow to her already fragile state of being. Giving in to dark clouds that surrounded her, she no longer got up in the mornings. She spent her days in bed with the curtains closed, unresponsive to anyone or anything. Even her son could not evoke her to rise and face the day.  
Narcissa did not want another child. She never had. Draco was enough for her. He had fulfilled every dream and more. Ever since he was born she had known for sure that she would never be able to love another as much. But she was young and naïve. Perhaps under happier circumstances she would have discarded these thoughts and realized her heart was big enough for more love yet. It wasn't now. How could she ever love a child conceived in such a cruel manner? How would she look at her child without remembering? In that brief moment of rage, Lucius had soiled her forever. She was disgusted not only with him, but with herself. Guilt and shame consumed her. She should have fought harder, resisted him. Other moments she thought her mother was right about it being her own fault. If she would not have denied him before, it might have never happened altogether.

Lucius seemed to have centred his life around seeking atonement. He was different from how Narcissa had ever seen him. But he could do nothing to help her. He had tried various tactics. He had pleaded, scolded, and coaxed her into getting up. Every day after work he brought her fresh flowers, jewels or expensive perfumes. He promised her everything from holidays abroad to a unicorn. To Narcissa, each thing sounded more ridiculous than the other. She didn't want gifts. She didn't want anything. She just wanted to lay here and surround herself by the dark blanket of sorrow she had wrapped herself in. Sometimes she caught herself thinking death would be a relief. She was not yet twenty, and already looked forward to death.

She should have left. Anyone in their right mind would have grabbed the child and left. One of the things holding Narcissa back was the marriage contract. She had signed a Pureblood marriage contract in blood stating that, should she ever choose to leave her husband, any possession of hers would belong to Lucius. Including any children their marriage would have brought forth. She would never even consider leaving Draco behind. Everyone knew magical contracts were binding. She could have tried, though. Gone into hiding in the muggle world, perhaps. But the state she was in now, she could barely dress herself, let alone start a new life from scratch in a world she knew nothing about. Throughout these past weeks, Narcissa had convinced herself she was weak. Weak and spoiled, used to holding up her hand and getting all the materialism she wanted. She was sure she could not live without that. But deep down she knew it was fear holding her back. The fear of being all alone and lost. Fear, and now this new baby she didn't want. Trouble had piled so high she could no longer see a way out.

Lucius had recently started summoning Healers of all sorts, in the hope that they could cure Narcissa where Healer Foxworth could not. The trouble was, Healers in the Wizarding World were well educated on physical ailments and their cures, but mention any part of psychology and they knew little more than a conductor on the Knightbus. To Narcissa it was all the same. Bothersome. She wished to be left alone. The only moments of the day she at least tried harder to be more lively was when they brought Draco in. Lucius had arranged for the nanny to bring him to his mother for an hour every afternoon. It was not much, but she was too weak for more at present. When he was there, she dragged herself from the bed to the sofa and watched him play. The little boy seemed more timid than usual. He must miss the constant presence of his mother, especially as he was too young to understand why she did not simply rise from that sofa and join him in play. He ran back and forth between his toys on the floor and his mother, showing her the miniature dragons he played with. Narcissa merely nodded at the things he showed her and forced a smile now and then with whatever energy she had left. She missed her boy, but she couldn't do much more at present. If anything, she was in a downward spiral, every day bringing her further from the happy, optimistic young woman she once was.

Currently Lucius had summoned a Healer from St Mungo's. Narcissa hadn't listened to his name or specialism, she simply pretended to be asleep on the sofa by the window. Apparently her act was convincing, so that it put her in the position to hear every word they spoke when the Healer was done examining her.

"Will you be able to cure her?" she heard Lucius inquire.

"Hard to say, Mr Malfoy, hard to say," the new Healer replied. This one was much younger than Healer Foxworth. Narcissa hadn't opened her eyes long enough to study him intently, but she suspected he had just finished his healing studies. Perhaps he was a rising star in the field, thinking curing a member of the Malfoy family would look good on his resume. Unfortunately she would have to disappoint him, in that case.

"We see it sometimes in young women that have fulfilled their life's purpose," the young Healer continued pompously. "Of course the weight loss is a primairy concern. But not unusual, I must say, in the first trimester. Some seem more affected by it than others," he continued his explanation until Lucius stopped him.

"What was that you said?"

Narcissa could only imagine her husband's nonplussed expression. She had not let him in on the news of her pregnancy. She wasn't sure why not. Perhaps because she had been in denial herself, hoping it would go away if she tried to forget about it. Or perhaps because she had wanted to punish him, somehow, by a moment like this. A sort of pay-back, by keeping something so important to herself. Of course it wasn't very effective. He was bound to find out sooner or later.

"The first trimester. Of pregnancy. You do know your wife is with child again?" the Healer continued, suddenly sounding rather pleased with himself. He must think he was on the verge of discovering trouble in paradise. Perhaps he would sell his story to the Daily Prophet; that was why Lucius had always preferred to stick to the services of Healer Foxworth. He claimed the young were never as trustworthy as the older Healers, educated to be especially discrete amongst Purebloods.

"Of course I know," Lucius quickly responded – too quickly. There was an obvious edge to his voice, though, and anyone would be wise enough not to challenge that tone. "So what do you suggest?"

"I don't believe we need be too concerned," the young Healer continued. Narcissa couldn't see with her eyes closed, but she imaged there to a slight tremble in his voice. "A.. a slight hormonal imbalance, I'd say, along with the regular symptoms. It happens sometimes."

"And how will you cure it?" Lucius pressed on, through gritted teeth. He didn't like to be kept waiting.

Narcissa could tell the young Healer was trying very hard to find a diplomatic way of saying he had no idea. Like the rest of them. She almost pitied him, if she wouldn't be so consumed by her own omni-present depression.

"There is always the special ward at St Mungo's, sir. They get a lot of cases like your wife's."

"What ward? What sort of _cases_, exactly?" Lucius was no longer pretending to be polite now. The edge to his voice grew steadily sharper. After all, if there was one thing Lucius hated it was when things didn't go his way.

"P-psychiatric cases, Mr Malfoy, sir," the young man stammered, now barely audible.

"Are you saying my wife belongs with the lunatics?" Lucius drew his words out longer than necessary. He didn't need to raise his voice to make an impression. "Need I remind you whose house you're at?"

"N-no, Mr Malfoy, I believe perhaps something to settle the hormones... will have to check the stock on it, though, " he stammered in reply, heading backwards toward the exit.

The last thing Narcissa heard was him murmuring something about having an elf deliver the question in potion, but the act was not very convincing. She felt relieved he had gone; even the slightest uproar was too much for her now.

She was surprised by the creak in the sofa, indicating Lucius had come to sit by her. He didn't touch her, though, he had learned that lesson quite well.

"I know you're awake," he spoke softly. "Cissa, why didn't you tell me?"

Slowly, Narcissa opened her eyes. She had heard the hurt in his voice. She knew he was hurting. She knew he regretted what he had done. The war had messed him up inside out. Part of her wanted to take pity. To embrace him and tell him everything was all right, that they still had a chance together. But she just couldn't. Her pain was too grand for forgiveness or anything close to it, no matter what her mind may want.

"It must have slipped my mind," she therefore responded, turning her head away from him, to stare out the window herself. Perhaps it was mean to punish him with her passive aggressive attitude, but for now it was all she could do for herself.

"Cissa, I don't know anything anymore," Lucius continued. "I see you doing this to yourself, and there's nothing I can do. Please, just let me help you. Let me get you someone. Something. What would you like? This is killing me, too, you know."

She knew by now that Lucius Malfoy was not a man that would ever reduce himself to tears, but if he ever came close to it, it was at this moment.

"Believe me Lucius, if I knew what would help me, I would tell you," she whispered her final words of the day.

The next trick Lucius had up his sleeve was Severus. Severus was very busy with his new teaching job at Hogwarts, but he made his appearance over the weekend. He found Narcissa on her usual spot on the sofa in the patio, in no better state than she had been lately. Part of her was glad to see her old friend. Although Severus was not one to be described as excellent company or one with a great emotional range, perhaps that was exactly what Narcissa needed. She didn't need more people telling her how affected they were by her depression, she was affected enough on her own.

"Hello Narcissa," he said upon entering the room. He took his seat on a chair by the sofa. His appearance had not changed since the war; he was still dressed entirely in black robes, his expression one of utter seriousness. "My dear woman... What have you done to yourself?" he asked quietly, taking in her appearance

It was both the right and the wrong thing to ask. After all, it was exactly what she was asking herself so regularly. She had built up this passive aggressive attitude to get to Lucius in the first stance, but by now she feared she was punishing mainly herself. And the worst was; she was in so deep it felt like she was drowning, falling deeper and deeper without a way up.

"It appears I have lost myself," she finally whispered, feeling tears running down her face. What did it matter? She was beyond shame already, anyway. "And I don't know how to work it out, Severus. I don't know anything anymore."

"I see," he said slowly, watching her intently. "Lucius wrote to me appearing in quite a desperate state. It seemed rather unlike him."

She nodded, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket she had draped around her legs. "I miss Bella," she said then, changing the subject.

"Yes, I had expected her... departure to be especially hard on you. But this isn't just about your sister, is it? Lucius tells me you are expecting again."

After a short pause, she nodded. It wouldn't be much longer now before she would start to show. With her unhealthy habits of not eating and sleeping, it was a miracle the baby was still there. It must possess a very strong will to live.

"I must say I don't quite understand," Severus continued. "It seemed to me you rather enjoyed motherhood."

"Oh, I do," she responded immediately. The mere subject of her darling son was enough to revive her somewhat at least. "It's all I've ever wanted."

"Yet you do not want this new child?"

Narcissa bit her lip in response, shaking her head barely notable.

"Something has occurred. Lucius," Severus stated. It wasn't a question, and he did not ask for details. She liked it best that way.

"I could help you do something about it," he suggested then. "About the pregnancy. There are potions."

She had considered it. She had known, the one person that would be able to help her was Severus. "It's illegal," she whispered.

"Narcissa, I was a Death Eater," he reminded her. "When has the law ever stopped us?"

She nodded, acknowledging her feeble excuse. "It isn't the child's fault," she told him then. "That's what's stopping me. It seems to possess a very strong will to survive."

"Not unlike its mother," he responded with a small smile.

Such small words of comfort, yet they meant more to her than any words she had heard lately. Even without telling him, he understood.

"I'm really quite weak," Narcissa responded softly.

"Oh, I doubt that. You may have convinced yourself otherwise, though. It is rather a pity," he said, standing up to walk over to the window. "Is that why you don't leave Lucius?"

"I couldn't... I put all of myself into this marriage, Severus. And I want Draco to be happy. He needs two parents, in a happy family."

"Yes, the happiness is apparent," he remarked dryly. He followed by picking up the untouched plate of sandwiches and handing it to her. "A hunger strike solves nothing."

Hesitant, Narcissa accepted the plate. "I'm not hungry," she told him.

"That is irrelevant. Whatever you decide, you cannot go on like this. You have willingly bestowed upon me the role of Draco's godfather. And so I must ensure his life to go as well as it should. And that requires a healthy mother at the very least. Now eat," he encouraged her, not unkindly.

And she did. It was hard not to comply, with the natural authority Severus seemed to possess. She could see why he would be a good teacher at Hogwarts. It would be good to have him there by the time Draco would start school.

"Where are you going?" she inquired as he went for the door.

"I will leave you to eat in peace. You must remember, Narcissa, that even if you choose not to leave Lucius that does not mean he will lead your life for you. Take matters into your own hands. The war is over. Everybody is changing their lives, so should you."

He was very right, of course. And she could see it. Seeing something and doing it were two different things entirely, however. But she would try. It was a decision she could make for herself, and she would. If not for herself, then at the very least for her son.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thank you for reading this new chapter! I look forward to write the next :) Reviews help me stay motivated, so don't forget to leave me a long/short/critical/happy/etc etc message:)


	10. Her Father's Child

**Chapter Ten: Her Father's Child**

_For not an orphan in the wide world can be so deserted as the child who is an outcast from a living parent's love__  
-Charles Dickens : Dombey and Son_

That day the very first step of Narcissa's climb back up had been made. Slowly she started to make improvements. She had been in so deep one could hardly expect her to jump up and go on with life as before, but she worked hard on it. Eating became a regular habit again, forcing herself to eat small amounts of food even if she did not feel like it. Now Narcissa would never be one to overeat –growing up with Druella had indoctrinated her to watch her figure at all times-, but she ate enough to regain her health. Sleeping went better, as well. She had not dared to use a Sleeping Draught before because of Draco; he sometimes woke up having a nightmare, and the potion would not enable her to wake quickly enough. Severus had prescribed her a lighter potion now: light enough to be alert when necessary, but strong enough to put her to sleep despite all her anxieties.

Severus made frequent visits to the Manor, coming over every other Sunday for dinner. He seemed to have grasped onto the fact that he was needed. In his very own way he was at Narcissa's beck and call, providing her with potions and draughts for the discomforts this pregnancy brought along.

This pregnancy was harder than the first. Perhaps it was her body responding to the fact that her mind did not accept this new baby, but Narcissa seemed to suffer every possible symptom. She was six months along now, only at the start of the last trimester, and already her blood pressure was a dire concern. It was skyhigh, despite both the Healer's and Severus's attempts to bring it down. As a result she was prescribed a lot of rest and activities that would help her relax.  
Currently the young Malfoy family could be spotted in the local park of Wiltshire. It was good for Narcissa to get some fresh air and good for Draco to spend time with both his parents. What also counted, was the merciless gossip going around about their family since Narcissa had disappeared from the society events. A public view of the happy family about to expand would hopefully decrease the rumours.

Narcissa pushed the stroller with a sleeping Draco in it. He was two years old now, and as stubborn as any child that age. Recently he seemed to have decided he was too old for a nap, which resulted in him falling asleep regardless of the circumstances. His slumber was all right now, though, as it gave his parents the time to talk. Lucius walked besides Narcissa and she allowed him to put his arm around her now and then – conveniently when the Daily Prophet's photographer was in sight. To say things had improved between them would be an illusion to the ignorant spectator, but at the very least they seemed to have reached a silent understanding. Lucius no longer touched his wife or tried anything to change her intentions about letting him, and in turn she tolerated his presence.

The weather was cold, but clear. A beam of sunlight illuminated the path they strolled on. It gave out an impression that would work well on the photographs. An impression of glittering gold they so liked to show the world. They both valued it, but that would not make it any more truthful.

"Lucius, have I not been a good wife to you?" Narcissa said, tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear. "Have I not given you everything? You have a son. An heir. And now perhaps a second son. I have brought the Malfoys back into society. Would you say you are content with me?"

"Of course, Narcissa," Lucius said, looking sideways at her. "I am very grateful."

She smiled, once more. Now was the time to keep up appearances, and it was only in public she dared to speak her mind to him. He would have to hear her out without as much as a suspicious conduct.

"Darling, what has recently occurred between us, the memory of it, it sickens me," Lucius continued carefully. They did not discuss this topic; it was a silent agreement between them. She was unreceptive to his endless stream of apologies, so what was the point? But it did not matter now; she was about to take matters back into her own hands, as Severus had recommended.

"And I cannot express how thrilled I am you are still here," Lucius continued."This child, you see, if only we could see it as a fresh start. It will be good for all of us. It would bind the four of us together-"

"Lucius, no," she stopped him, surprising herself with her composure. She had thought over these words hundreds of times. To her they were of great importance. They were, perhaps, her first words spoken as a true adult.

"I may not leave you, but that does not mean I will forgive you. Let this be clear, Lucius, I will _never _forgive you. I have decided to move my things into a different bedroom in the East wing tonight," Narcissa said bravely. He would no longer control her. If she had a place to call her private environment it might be easier to tolerate the circumstances.

He was surprised as she had expected. He was not used to being contradicted; Lucius Malfoy liked to direct life the way he wanted. But no longer. Not his wife, anyway.

"Cissa..." he tried, but she was beyond discussing this. She had decided. On her own.

"Now, of course I understand you will have certain... needs," Narcissa continued, pronouncing the latter word as if it were something disgusting. Which, to her, it now was. "You are a man after all. So I have decided I will not mind if you fulfil your needs elsewhere. You will be discrete, of course. For my sake as well as your own. Nobody wants to be the subject of gossip."

Lucius said nothing for a long while. He simply stared ahead of them; at the path bathing in sunlight, and their sleeping son.

"I wish you would let me try," he insisted with a thoughtful glance. "To make things up. Cissa, this thing you propose. It is ridiculous! I would never embarrass you like that."

"You would not embarrass me in public, yet you humiliate me and strip me of all honour in private. Is it so hard to believe I have no further intention of spending any night with you? You may find it ridiculous, but this is what _I _want. You cannot make me happier than by leaving me alone."

What more could he do, than agree with her? Lucius found himself in the awkward position of the inability to make a right choice. If he did not allow her to move into a different room, she would continue to be this cold and distant. And yet if he granted her wish, it would be as if she slipped from her fingers. Only the thing was: she had already slipped from his fingers six months ago.

"All right," he finally relented. "If this is what you want."

"It is," she nodded, pushing the stroller ahead with renewed vigour. As they continued their walk, for the first time in very long a genuine smile lit up her features. There were many things in this life she could not control, as she was reminded constantly by the child inside of her, but this little thing she could.

* * *

It was late September when Narcissa gave birth. It was a girl this time. The delivery was much harder than the first. While no woman with experience would ever call a labour painless, Narcissa remembered the first birth had been over the moment it became truly unbearable. This time things had progressed much slower, and she had been unable to find the peace to breathe through the contractions. Perhaps it had something to do with her sister's absence. Bellatrix had always been able to soothe her, whereas now Narcissa only had her mother's unnerving presence. And the Healer, of course, but when had he ever been much help?

The agonizing event had lasted no less than eighteen hours and left Narcissa thoroughly weakened. She had lost so much blood the world started spinning around her the moment she even lifted an arm. She would not be able to care for her child as actively as she had the first time during her recovery. Somehow, Narcissa did not mind at all. Perhaps this assault on her body was yet another sign saying she should never have had this child.

Lucius had been called to enter the moment both mother and child looked presentable. Or as presentable as possible, considering the circumstances. Narcissa had caught a glimpse of herself in the window while her mother helped her change. She was so pale her skin was almost transparent. Her eyes lay deep in their sockets, with dark circles underneath. It was as if Death himself had visited her, and then changed his mind about taking her. Perhaps her role in this life was not yet finished.

She could read the shock in Lucius' eyes when he visited her. Her weakness was reflected in his look, as well as the realization that he had done this to her.

"She's a girl," Narcissa whispered, unable to find the strength to speak. She had not yet held the child, which slept soundly in the cradle beside the bed. She had looked at her, though, and found in her daughter unmistakable features of Lucius. What irony it was, that every aspect of this child must remind her of her husband and how broken things were between the two of them. "I know you would have preferred a boy…"

"Not at all," Lucius responded, standing up to take a good look at the child. "We have a son already, I suppose it doesn't matter now." He bent down over the cradle and, surprisingly, scooped the child up into his arms very carefully. When Draco had been a baby, he had never held him without encouragement. The difference was remarkable even so soon after their daughter's birth. He had always told Narcissa he wasn't very good with babies, that that phase of life was mainly for the mother. He appeared to have changed his mind rather quickly.

"Cissa, I know it's been hard for you," Lucius said quietly, seating himself at her bedside with the child in his arms. "You must take all the rest you can get. Healer Foxworth tells me you will make a full recovery. And once you do, I am sure you will find this child will bind us together. The four of us," he smiled and studied the child in his arms. She looked very small, smaller than her brother had been at birth. Her skin was still red and a little wrinkly, indicating the roughness of her journey into this world.

Lucius thought she would bind them. Perhaps that explained his sudden interest. He had spent the past nine months trying to make up for his mistake. Now that he realized he could not, it seemed he had set his hopes upon this child. Whereas he thought their daughter would set things right, Narcissa shared a very different opinion. In fact, she thought nothing could have driven them further apart.

"Just look at her, Cissa, she's quite perfect." Lucius only had eyes for his daughter. "What shall we name her?"

They had not discussed names as frequently as they had when they were expecting Draco. But then, they were hardly as close nowadays. The few times they spoke of it they decided the child could be named Cygnus, for his maternal grandfather. They had not counted on the possibility of being a girl; the entire Pureblood world still seemed so focused on bringing forth male children. And yet how would they keep their blood pure, without Pureblood girls?

The choice was hardly a very difficult one, though. Narcissa could only think of one name that would suit this child. She was her father's child in so many ways, and so it only seemed right she should be named after him.

"I believe she should be named after her father. Lucia seems the perfect name for her, doesn't it?".

And so it was decided what the name of the second Malfoy child should be. In so many ways she was bound to her father, while her mother had a very tough job convincing herself she was incapable of loving this child. Every child would want to be a product of love. Lucia was only ever a product of misery. And yet they were all in this together; this dysfunctional family that was strung together by things both good and bad. They thought they had had the worst, with the Dark Lord gone. But little did they know the future had things in store for all of them, that made anything thus far pale in comparison.

* * *

**Author's note:** The next chapter will contain a larger time skip, I believe, and after that I intend to jump to the second war. Please keep reviewing, I love to read them, they make my day! xx


	11. Interbellum: The Golden Years

**Chapter Eleven: Interbellum: The Golden Years**

_"All that glisters is not gold"  
-William Shakespeare: The Merchant of Venice_

Theirs was not a happy ending. In fact: it was not an ending at all. As strange as it may be; the world does not stop without the ones we love. In time Narcissa came to realise there was life after Bellatrix. For the first time she was on her own, and found this was not as bad as she had always feared. Still, it took a few years for Narcissa to truly feel like her old self again. The war had stirred her, and her depression had left its mark on her. The saying that time healed all wounds was not entirely true. Circumstances improved indeed, but she could not help but feel the slightest stir would rip them open again.

To the world, the Malfoys built up their life on the right side. Lucius made a steady stream of promotions at the Ministry, and soon the Minister of Magic himself was a frequently seen guest at Malfoy Manor. Lucius and Narcissa regularly appeared on the Daily Prophet's society page, and were asked for the secret of their perfect marriage. Such times, Narcissa had to suppress her laughter. She might be called shallow for putting such emphasis on the public view of her marriage, but to her this was of great importance. After all: what else did she have? She was a good actress. So good she almost started believing in her own act.

Over the years, Narcissa and Lucius found what might best be described as quiet companionship. Because it was easier to be friendly than to be hateful, when sentenced to one another. They did not see each other very often. Lucius made long days at the Ministry, and Narcissa busied herself with running the household and caring for the children. Once her health improved, she also started lending her services to a few noteworthy charity funds that just loved to add the name of Mrs Malfoy to the list of their benefactresses. The time spent with Lucius was reduced to a few dinners a week, and of course the public events. She didn't mind those so much. Even if by now she was well aware of Lucius's guilt and his desire to improve his life, she still felt most comfortable when they were surrounded by other people.

The war was years ago, but the first years after the Dark Lord's fall they had lived in fear. Unable to believe he was truly gone, their dreams were haunted by memories of darkness and fear instilled by He Who Must Not Be Named. Bellatrix had been one of the few true believers the war had known, and until the day she was imprisoned she had clung to her beliefs that the Dark Lord was still alive. Narcissa often found the memory of her sister's faith to be frightening. There was, after all, still a chance that she was right. No one had proof the Dark Lord was really gone, and there were plenty of rumours stating he was hiding out in some foreign forest, waiting until he grew stronger... If that day ever came, Narcissa wouldn't know what was worse; their inevitable fall from grace, or to go back to the fear of the old days. For the war had changed them all, and not for the good.

People did many different things to pick themselves up after a downfall. Some turned to alcohol or forbidden potions to stimulate the senses. Others played excessive sports or went travelling. But not Narcissa. Narcissa Malfoy chose to do what she was best at. She hosted a party. And not just a party. She hosted a grand ball that inspired all of wizarding society weeks beforehand to groom themselves accordingly. Invitations were sent out in golden ink and pearly envelopes, and those fortunate enough to receive one would not consider turning them down. It had taken Narcissa over six years to get back to this, but here she was. She would look her best tonight, and show the world that no matter what happened, the House of Malfoy would not be brought down.

When night fell, Malfoy Manor started to fill up with hundreds of guests. Most of them were of a certain status in the Wizarding World. Among them were Mr and Mrs Fudge, and more representatives of the Ministry. Old habits die hard, though, which meant that most of the guests had a history of Pureblood radicalism.

The entire Manor was decorated in ways only magic could bring: glittering gold all around. Golden chandeliers, golden flags on the staircases carrying the Malfoy crest, and mahogany tables floating in mid-air with golden tablecloths that held crystal glasses with liquors to everyone's liking.

The hostess herself was like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Now that her health was restored she was no longer a pale and thin girl wasting away in her own misery. Narcissa had picked herself up, and shone tonight like she never had before. On the height of her beauty in her mid-twenties, Narcissa drew all eyes to her. She had spent weeks preparing for this. Her hair, golden blond in a French chignon, had glittering ornaments in it that caught the light from all across the room. Her dress was a floating vision of black satin and silk, with a golden bodice and specks of gold illuminating the black of the skirt. When she descended the stairs with regal grace, her appearance drew a sigh from many, including her own husband. The message to him was clear: look, but never touch.

"Hello darling," she greeted her husband with a kiss on the cheek as they lined up in the hallway leading to the ballroom. Already there was an endless line forming of guests wanting to greet them.

"Narcissa." Lucius sounded breathless as he took in the sight of her, unable to find a compliment that matched her grandeur. He himself was more than handsome in his traditional black dress robes and polished shoes that shone like mirrors.

Narcissa wondered sometimes if there were others now. After all, she had given him _carte blanche _when it came to love affairs. The thought of Lucius with another woman was more degrading than she would have expected. However, him leaving her alone was more worth to her than anything. So far no suspicion or rumour had ever reached her, which meant that at least he was as discrete as she had required him to be.

"I know," she finally smiled in return. She could read the appreciation in his eyes, and for tonight that was enough. "Where are the children?"

"In the ballroom. The nanny will take them up to bed in an hour."

Narcissa had preferred the children to be in bed before the party. It was rather too late for them in her opinion, but Lucius had disagreed. He appeared to think it would heighten their status and success to be seen with the children, since the Ministry put great emphasis on the importance of family. If Fudge thought him a true family man, perhaps a new promotion would not be far away.  
In truth, Narcissa would probably never describe Lucius as a family man. He loved his children, she knew that for a fact, but what bothered her the most was that he showed an obvious favouritism for Lucia.

Lucius was of the opinion that 'the son and heir' required a different upbringing than a daughter. Tougher. He did not like it, but this idea was deeply indoctrinated in his mind. When Narcissa complained, he reminded her that she had no experience with how boys should be raised, considering she only had sisters. Lucia's upbringing was a different story. From the day she was born Lucius had doted on her. In those days, the first thing he did when he came home was run up to the nursery to his daughter. She was five years old now, and had her father wrapped tightly around her little finger. Anything she wanted he got her; she barely had to ask. Often Narcissa thought Lucius was like that because he attempted to use Lucia to make up for his mistakes. He appeared to think she symbolized everything, and his treatment of her could serve as atonement. He seemed blind, though, to what this unequal treatment would do to Draco.

"I'll fetch them, so we can introduce them," Narcissa said, making her way into the ballroom. The evening had barely started, but already the marble dance floor was full of dancing couples. She made her way through a sea of silk and tulle and a variety of perfumes before she found her children in the back. Draco, now eight years old, looked quite the little charmer in dress robes that resembled those of his father's.

"Look at how handsome you are!" Narcissa beamed, pulling her son to her for a kiss. He appeared torn between his desire to act 'mature' and his affection for his mother. Eventually he allowed her to kiss him, but pulled a face in the process.

"Where is your sister?" Narcissa quickly combed Draco's hair with her fingers and glanced around. It didn't take her long to spot her other child. Lucia was on the dance floor with Draco's little friends Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, and the older boys were taking turns spinning the little girl around as fast as they could.

"Lucia, your dress!" Narcissa interfered, stepping in to remove her daughter from the dance floor. What had been visible at Lucia's birth had only come to stand out more as she grew older: the obvious resemblance to her father. Her hair was as white blond as that of both Lucius and Draco, and as young as she was there was something about the way the little girl carried herself that was so like her father.

"How many times have I told you to behave?" she hurriedly started to fix the girl's hair and smoothed out the fabric of her red dress. Lucia looked like a little angel with her shining black moccasins, hair neatly plaited, and the angelic smile, but Narcissa more than once caught her daughter red-handed in the act of misbehaviour. "You should follow your brother's example more. I don't see him disturbing the other guests."

The little girl's smile was quickly swept off her face, but Narcissa had no time to register this, for from the corner of her eye Narcissa could already see Lucius engaged in conversation with the Minister and his wife. She quickly took hold of Lucia's hand and ushered Draco along.

"Narcissa!" Mrs Fudge kissed both her cheeks in greeting, giving off the desired air of familiarity. "You have especially outdone yourself this evening. I couldn't dream of hosting any party as successful! Even my simplest attempts at tea parties are avoided by some," the older, plump woman told her in a conspiring tone. "You must tell me your secret some time!"

Narcissa merely smiled in response. "I haven't got a secret, Rosalind. This, it is what I do."

The topic changed as Mrs Fudge caught sight of the children. "And there are the lovely youngsters!" she said. Lucius and the Minister exchanged an amused glance at the woman's obvious enthusiasm.

As young as she was, Lucia was well aware of what was expected of her. Even if she was too young to understand what it meant to be the 'Minister of Magic', she understood it was something important. She dropped into a curtsey as if it was the most ordinairy thing to do, and beamed up at the Fudges. "How do you do, Mr and Mrs Minister?"

The little girl's words drew a hearty laugh from the Minister himself. "Quite the princess you told me about, Lucius!"

"Indeed, Cornelius, indeed," Lucius smirked into his glass of Firewhiskey as his daughter charmed their guests.

Narcissa frowned and encouraged Draco to step in, too. This wasn't the first time he was overlooked in the presence of his sister. Apparently there was something about blond little girls that people seemed more drawn towards than to eight-year-old boys. This seemed a mystery to Narcissa, for in her opinion her little prince was just as charming if not more so.

"So," Mr Fudge said, as finally Draco had gotten the chance to greet them as well. "Not long until the chap starts Hogwarts, then? What do you think, Lucius? Slytherin, like his family?"

"Three more years. It'll fly by," Lucius agreed. "Slytherin, of course. What else is there?" he drawled. It was no secret Fudge himself favoured those of Pure blood, still. The Dark Lord may be gone, but some things would never change.

Many hours later Lucius and Narcissa found themselves alone in the Manor when the party had ended. It was late, very late, and Narcissa descended the stairs to find Dobby already charming dozens of empty glasses at once to soar towards the kitchen. She found Lucius in the drawing room, on the sofa, finishing up his last glass of the evening.

"Are the children asleep?" he inquired, once he caught sight of her entering.

"Yes, I've just checked on them. They were both exhausted," she smiled fondly at this thought and joined Lucius on the sofa to finish the remainders of her white wine.

"Tonight was a wonderful success. All because of you, Cissa. I wouldn't have managed any of it without you."

She smiled in response; such obvious compliments coming from Lucius were a rarity. "It was quite like the old days, don't you think? Except there were a few missing faces, of course..." For a moment she allowed all those who were missing to pass her thoughts. Bella and Rodolphus, of course, but also other former friends now in Azkaban. And her parents, both died in the past five years. Such a change from when she used to host parties like these so regularly. Perhaps she would go back to that, now. Tonight had certainly been a great start.

"Yes," Lucius agreed. He looked tired after the long evening. Not as tired as before, though. This new life was good for him. "And a lot has changed," he said, locking his eyes on hers.

"But some things haven't ," Narcissa reminded him, before he might think of things she didn't want. They may get along now on a more friendly foot, but in her opinion that was largely because of the way they had created their lives to be now: separate, with few encounters.

"I know. You don't have to worry about that," he assured her. "I don't want you to worry about anything, anymore. Don't you think we have worried enough?"

"Oh yes," Narcissa sighed. "But there always will be worries. Now the war's over, there's the fear for another war."

"You fear another war?" Lucius' face fell. It was obviously something he chose not to put much thought into.

"Why wouldn't I? Bella was right about one thing, after all. We never had any proof the Dark Lord was really gone. For all we know she may have been right. Perhaps he's waiting until he's strong enough to rise again.," she continued, standing up and moving over to the doorway. It was late, and her feet were aching from the high heels. She very much needed for this conversation to end, so that she could have a long night's sleep.

"What's brought this on?" Lucius frowned. "Has someone been talking to you about this?" Even the mere suggestion of the Dark Lord was, apparently, enough to distress him badly.

"No, no," Narcissa quickly eased him. She wanted the Dark Lord to return as little as he did, after all. "It was just... silly concerns. Let's hope that's all they remain. I'm going to bed. You should too," she suggested, suppressing a yawn as she ended their talk. "Good night, Lucius."

"Good night, Cissa," he responded, sounding like his mind was drifting off, bothered with thoughts he would have preferred to remain forgotten.

* * *

**Author's note:** This chappy was mainly intended to catch the atmosphere inbetween the wars, so not very exciting, but hopefully it amused you all nonetheless :) Don't forget to review and tell me about your thoughts! xoxo


	12. Morsmordre

**Chapter Twelve: Morsmordre**

_"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,  
But in ourselves, that we are underlings."  
-William Shakespeare: Julius Caesar_

They were granted several more, good years before the Dark Lord returned. But return he did. They had known for a while; Lucius had noticed the remainders of his Dark Mark becoming clearer, although they had allowed themselves to hope they were mistaken.

It happened right after Draco's fourth year and Lucia's second. On the day Potter competed in the final task of the Triwizard Tournament, Lucius felt the Mark burn as before; a sign that the Dark Lord himself was summoning his followers. There had been rumours, of course, but when were there not? Narcissa had seen the fear in her husband's eyes when he was summoned, and she knew he had considered not going. The trouble was: they had seen in others what the Dark Lord's wrath could do. Lucius was well aware he did not only have himself to think of. If he refused service, the entire family would suffer. The choice, then, had no longer been a choice at all.

They had decided to talk to the children the moment they returned for their summer holidays. Lucius had understood Dumbledore had already told the children about the Dark Lord's return. Draco and Lucia, however, needed to know what this would mean to their family. Of course, being fifteen and thirteen years of age, they were well aware of their family's history of involvement in the dark arts. They also knew their father had supported the Dark Lord. They did not, however, know what exactly that had entailed –although Draco liked to fill in the blanks to give out impressive stories to his friends.

The four of them had gathered in the drawing room. The children were still in their school uniforms and would undoubtedly welcome a hot bath after the journey on the Hogwarts Express, but Lucius had wanted to do this first.

Narcissa studied her son as he sat by the fireplace. It seemed he had grown yet more since she had last seen him during the Easter holidays. He was getting so tall now; almost like a real man. Almost, for she knew that despite his desire to appear tough and mature, there was still a boy inside of him. She feared for him. She feared for all of them. They had all emerged from the first war full of scars, what would a repeat performance bring them?

"Children," Lucius started formally when they were all present. He paced the room slowly, with an air of determination. He was not about to show his fears to their children, but he did want to make sure they understood this was serious business. "I have assembled us here to discuss family matters. I understand you have heard things at school. Precarious things I would have preferred to tell you myself."

"About the Dark Lord's return," Draco remarked smartly. He was always keen to battle for Lucius's attention with his sister. Now that they were both at school and Draco was older and therefore further advanced in both skill and knowledge, he appeared to have finally gained some confidence.

"Yes, Draco. About the Dark Lord's return," Lucius nodded, coming to a halt to watch both his children.

"It's true then, what Dumbledore said?" Draco continued bravely, although Narcissa could see the muscles in his jaw clench with nerves. He may act to his friends as if he was glad their ideas of Pureblood superiority were finally about to be acted upon, but in reality he had no idea what he was in for. By his response, she figured Draco feared the real thing was not as glorious as he had depicted in his mind. He did not know now, though. Narcissa hoped he would be allowed to remain ignorant for a while longer of the horrors that might be in store for them.

"Indeed. The old fool appears to think he is entitled to decide what children may and may not know," Lucius continued, obviously irritated. "But alas, you are both well aware of our family's involvement with the Dark Lord. I wanted to make use of this occasion to remind you where our loyalties are. It may not occur to you now, but whatever you both do at school can be of influence now. More so than before. Who you speak to, what you do, it will all be under closer scrutiny."

Both children nodded, apparently impressed with their father's words. Even if they had no way of knowing exactly what the return of the Dark Lord might mean, they could sense it would bring about great change.

"Now, you two haven't made any new friends this year we should know about, have you?" Narcissa inquired as her husband went and poured himself a glass of wine. She noted they both looked very young like this, with their eyes widened as their awareness grew of the impact the rise of the Dark Lord would have on their young lives.

"No, mother," Draco said obediently. "Just the old gang. You know, Crabbe and Goyle, Theo Nott, Pansy Parkinson."

"They're all right, I suppose," Lucius nodded. "All on the same side at least. As long as you don't become acquainted with those disgraceful Weasleys. Or Mudbloods like the Granger girl. Why her grades are continuously higher than yours is beyond me, Draco. You should know better than to disgrace our family like that."

Draco's face fell at the reprimand. "But father, Granger is really-"

"Do not make excuses for yourself," Lucius said coldly. "The time has come to prove Pureblood supremacy, and allowing a Mudblood to beat you at almost every subject is unacceptable."

"Don't be so hard on him, Lucius," Narcissa said. "His grades are well above average, and Severus tells me he is the very best in Potions," she smiled at her son, who gave her a look of gratitude.

"Yes, well, nevertheless I expect both of you children to study hard this summer. Laziness will not be tolerated in this house."

"Father?" sounded Lucia's smaller voice from the corner of the drawing room. She too had grown since the holidays, but not as much as her brother. She was thirteen now, but often looked so much like a child still. Her neatly plaited blond hair and blue eyes carried an air of innocence still.

"Yes, Lucia?" Lucius responded, his tone softening as he turned his gaze on his youngest child.

"Daphne Greengrass, Willow Avery, Elena Nott," Lucia summed up her best friends from school. "Are they all right?"

"Of course, dear," Lucius nodded. "These girls fathers have done some impressive things. I didn't expect any less of you than to befriend them. Now, I think it is time for you two to go up and change for dinner," he decided, seating himself besides his wife on the sofa.

The children knew better than to argue with their father and left the drawing room. It was only when the door fell closed behind them that Narcissa turned to face her husband.

"I wish you wouldn't be so hard on Draco. He's worked very hard this year. It gets to him when you speak like that." The children were, most likely, the only thing the two of them ever argued about. For the rest they had maintained the quiet companionship they had established over the years. Too much had happened for Narcissa to believe Lucius would ever be more to her than that, but they had a lot of memories together and both cared for their family.

"He must understand how serious this is," Lucius merely said.

"You know very well Lucia's grades need more attention than Draco's."

"Lucia's grades are quite acceptable. One or two subjects need some extra work, but she'll have time for that this summer," Lucius said. Narcissa did not think he would ever speak ill of his daughter. Although he would always be strict on both children and hold high expectations, Lucius had an obvious blind spot when it came to Lucia. It wouldn't be so bad if it were any less obvious to Draco.

"The thing is," Lucius continued, turning to face her. "Draco is my only son and heir. He must be prepared. Has it occurred to you he will come of age in two years time? That's sooner than you expect, Narcissa. By then he must be ready."

"Ready?" Narcissa pressed on, feeling the agitation rise within her at such a subject. No one should have a say in her son's future but Draco himself. And yet she knew very well what Lucius meant.

"Ready to do his duty, Narcissa. Like we all must," Lucius said decisively. They may have been in denial before, but nothing hit them as hard as this irreversible truth.

"We should all get ready for dinner," he suggested as he made his way towards the hallway. "There isn't any need to worry the children unnecessarily now. It isn't yet like before; the Dark Lord will want to lie low for a while until he has a chance to take over the Ministry. Until then, it won't be as bad…"

He left her to it, then, with what he hoped were words of slight comfort. But Narcissa had heard very well the feeble tone of her husband's words. And what he had said about Draco's future duties made her think times were ahead of them that were much worse than what they had seen thus far.

Lucius was proven right at first. When the Wizarding World remained mainly in denial about the Dark Lord's return, things were not as tough as they remembered the height of the first war to be. Death Eater duties were reduced to endless meetings, scheming and secret operations. Dangerous, and stressful of their own accord, but manageable. The Malfoys were lucky the Dark Lord accepted them back into his grace. Supposedly he needed any supporters he could get to form his army, while some of his most loyal followers were still in Azkaban. The Dark Lord was disappointed Lucius had not sought him out like the Lestranges had, but there was evidence enough he had not ceased his support of Pureblood superiority. His successful attempt to get Riddle's diary into the hands of the Weasley girl, as well as certain ties that were never severed, spoke for him sufficiently.

One of the acts that brought the Dark Lord's return back into the picture was the mass breakout from Azkaban. Narcissa was eager to forget any disadvantage a new war would bring, when it brought back her beloved sister. Fourteen years they had been apart, and through the years she had lost hope of ever being reunited with Bellatrix. Of course, the Daily Prophet would have reported the death of a notorious Death Eater like Bellatrix or Rodolphus, and as it never had she supposed they could have known they were still alive. Nothing, however, had been able to prepare her for the state they were in.

Had Narcissa been told the Lestranges spent years dead in their coffin instead of Azkaban, she would have believed it. They looked as if they had risen from death. Bellatrix, once described as a great beauty, was so skinny Narcissa feared she might snap in half. Her hair was long and unkempt; a mass of black curls surrounding her gaunt face, making her pointy chin stick out yet more. Her heavy-lidded eyes had sunken deep in their sockets, black circles underneath betraying the lack of sleep. Bella's skin was dirty and covered with scratches she had made with her own long nails while she had bordered on insanity. Rodolphus did not look much better. He was a shell of the handsome man he had once been.

They had been brought straight to Malfoy Manor. Their own house was uninhabitable after being deserted for so long, and it would take a while before it would be ready for them.

"We've brought the others to their families. Rabastan is with the Carrows," said Travers, who had brought the disheveled pair in minutes ago.

Narcissa left Lucius to deal with such practicalities and politeness, for she only had eyes for Bellatrix. She embraced her sister fondly, holding her tightly against her. She worried Azkaban had ruined their sanity and left them catatonic, but soon she felt reassurance as Bella wrapped her arms around her. How she had missed her. It was indescribable. These first years had been so hard, and she had needed her sister more than anything. She had climbed back up, though, and was now more than eager to show her sister she was an adult of her own right.

When she retreated from the embrace and held Bella at arm's length, she studied her sister intently.  
"Bella," she whispered, stroking a few stray curls from her face. No one had spoken thus far. The atmosphere was, save from Narcissa's delight, tense. Lucius was less than pleased to see his sister-in-law return, and Draco was too young to remember his aunt and uncle at all. Lucia had not even been born yet when the pair of them was imprisoned.

"Are they quite right?" Lucius inquired finally. "Perhaps they need a Healer…"

"We are quite sane, Lucius, thank you," Bellatrix broke the silence haughtily, pushing Narcissa's hands from her face.

Narcissa felt a wave of relief wash over her at this obvious proof of her sister's sanity. Bella's return had seemed so surreal it would surely take a while to sink in.

"Nothing a hot bath and some rest won't fix," Rodolphus agreed, although his words were less vigorous than his wife's. Bella had always been the strongest of the pair of them.

"Baths, then?" Narcissa suggested, beckoning one of the elves to head upstairs and prepare baths for their guests. It was still such a pity they had lost Dobby; the elf had known what they needed before they even had to give out orders.

"Hang on," Bella said, turning her gaze towards the children who stood lined up by the staircase. Narcissa had forgotten all about them in the moment of reunion. Both Draco and Lucia looked not very much at ease, and no wonder.

"You remember Draco," Narcissa said, moving over to stand behind her son. Her hands rested proudly on his shoulders. He was almost taller than she was, now. She was proud of the young man he was becoming.

"Indeed," Bella responded pensively, scrutinizing him with narrowed eyes. "He was a bawling brat when I left, so that's improved."

Narcissa squeezed her son's shoulders lightly to prevent him from responding. Bella had never liked children, and she spoke her mind. Undoubtedly years of solitude in Azkaban had brought out that side of her. It would take a while to adjust her to a more civilized society again. Draco would have to understand his aunt had been through a terrible ordeal.

"I see you look like your father, boy," Bella concluded. It sounded as if she did not think that to be very positive. "And where does this one come from?" she moved over to Lucia with a frown on her face.

"This is Lucia. Our daughter," Narcissa said, letting go of Draco to move over to her daughter. Lucia, quite like her brother, seemed rather frightened at the sight of this new aunt that was a stranger to niceties. "She is thirteen years old, she was born after you left," she explained.

"I see," Bella commented, although by the look she sent her sister, it was obvious she had more questions in store for her later. After a hot bath and a soft bed, for that was a main priority right now.

Narcissa left Lucius to help settle Rodolphus in, while she herself took Bella to her own bedchamber. Although Bella had just given out the impression she was still her old, strong self, it soon became obvious she was rather weakened. She needed Narcissa to help her into the bathtub. Not that Narcissa minded; she would do anything to help her sister.

"I am so glad to have you back," she said quietly, seating herself on the edge of the tub so that she could wash Bella's hair. "I can't imagine what it must have been like for you in that place…"

It appeared Bella had used up all her strengths during her entrance, so that she now hung limp in the tub. Her curls floated around her, and Narcissa started to gently wash them with her finest shampoo.

"I didn't think I'd see you again," Narcissa continued in barely more than a whisper. "If there were anything I could've done to get you out of there… I don't know how you lasted so long."

"We only lasted so long because we knew the Dark Lord would release us in the end," Bella murmured, her eyes falling closed as the warm water heightened her drowsiness. "We never lost faith in him. Hope kept us up. I don't wish to speak of it, Cissy. I just want to concentrate on regaining my strengths and then I can properly devote myself to the Dark Lord again."

"Of course," Narcissa said quietly, rinsing out her sister's hair. She would have to wash it a few more times before it would have any of the intended effect. Perhaps she would have to cut some of it; the curls were so knotted and entangled even shampoo with unicorn blood-extract would be useless.  
They sat in silence for a while, Bella enjoying the sensation of the hot water and sweet scents while Narcissa devotedly washed every inch of her hair and body. Eventually Bella started to look more like her old self again, although she had visibly aged and was much thinner.

"How did you have another child?"

The question caught Narcissa off guard. Her sister had known everything about her back then, including the state of her marriage and its lack of intimacies since Draco was born.

"I don't need to tell you how children come about," she responded, intending to change the subject with some humour. Bella was not susceptible to that, though.

"It just strikes me as odd. Malfoy never touched you anymore, and it appeared you didn't want another child."

"Well, we changed our minds," Narcissa murmured, busying herself with sorting out towels so she didn't need to face her sister. "Fourteen years is a long time to be gone, Bella. You can't expect things to be the same as when you left. I'm not the same."

There was a time when she would have wanted nothing more than to share with her sister the horrible circumstances of Lucia's conception. Now, though, she would rather not. It was a secret that lay deeply hidden in her heart, tucked away even from herself. Through the years she and Lucius had managed to build themselves up to a respectable family image. She wouldn't risk ruining that, not even for her sister. There was enough change in store for them already. With another war coming they would have a tough job keeping the family together as it was.

"As long as you know that some things don't change. The Dark Lord is the same, if not more powerful than he ever was. He will expect things of all of us. And that includes your children."

"Don't be silly, Bella," Narcissa frowned and helped her sister out of the tub, wrapping her in a large towel. "They're much too young to play any part in anything important."

"The boy is fifteen, is he not? I was that age when I was Marked. And if you've raised him well he'll know his part to play when it comes along."

Narcissa could feel a growing discomfort inside of her. It was a feeling she recognized all too well. A feeling that had been locked up inside of her for over a decade. It was, if anything, a consuming fear. A fear worse than she had ever dealt with. For now this fear not only concerned herself, but her children too. And her sister. Bella had always had a wild streak, but now she feared Azkaban had magnified that and faded whatever borders Bella had had left. How would she stand a second war without the support of her sister? How would she stand anything if her darling sister was convinced she should sacrifice her son to the Dark Lord's service without a second thought? The delight of her sister's return was already beginning to fade now that she realized that what she had hoped for for so many years would not at all be as joyous as she had expected.


	13. Blood Is Thicker Than Water

**Chapter Thirteen: Blood Is Thicker Than Water**

"I have a very bad feeling about this," Narcissa announced. She and Lucius found themselves in the hallway of the Manor. Lucius was dressed in his black Death Eater's robes and held the mask in his hand. He had just been summoned to the Ministry of Magic, and they were both very much aware he would be expected to do more than simply attend a meeting this time. It came as no true surprise. After months of scheming in secret the Dark Lord was bound to come back out into the open eventually, and then it was time for his followers to prove their loyalty.

"I haven't got a choice, Narcissa," Lucius sighed. His dread was obvious and he paused before disapparating. "You know what you must do, do you not?"

"What do you mean?" she asked quietly, although she knew.

"I mean, should I not return. The key to our vault at Gringotts, passwords, documents, " Lucius reminded her. Should something happen to cause his death or imprisonment, he had made sure his wife would know how to get by on her own.

"And if you need help with anything, Severus can advise you."

"Lucius..." Narcissa took hold of his hands gently. "Please do not speak of such matters." She did not wish to lose him. In fact, the mere idea brought a queasy feeling to her stomach.

"Why ever not?" Lucius continued. "We are both realists. The risk is present. Closing our eyes to it is the foolish thing others might do, but not us Malfoys. And besides, I thought perhaps it would give you a desired sense of freedom..."

"Now you are being foolish," she let go of his hands and turned from him. "I do not hate you, if that is what you are suggesting. I hate what you've done, yes. Perhaps I hate what the war had made you into. But I would never wish such things upon you. How can I? We have two children together. We've built up this life. Over sixteen years of marriage, Lucius," she reminded him with an unfamiliar fire in her.

He came up to her, then, a look of despair upon his features. "I don't want to become that man again," he tells her quietly.

"I know," Narcissa turned to face him, her hand reaching out to cup his face. She could sense his fear, note the fast heartbeat and the look in his eyes. If only she would be able to help him. "And you won't have to. Perhaps it'll be different, this time..." The thought seemed unlikely as soon as she had spoken it out loud, but it was too soon to lose hope. "Just come home to me, all right?" To underline her desire for his safety, she leaned in and brushed her lips across his cheek; quickly and softly. He had to come back to her. For the children, but for herself as well. What would she do without Lucius?  
The things that had happened in the past were not forgotten, but they had not prevented them from becoming this family. They were joined forever through their children and their memories above all else.

It was almost as if Lucius had felt something was about to happen. His part in the battle at the Department of Mysteries landed him straight in Azkaban, making all of Narcissa's fears come true. She found herself alone that summer, facing two very distraught children when they came home for the holidays. They were in the drawing room, accompanied by both Bellatrix and Severus.

"How can father be in Azkaban?!" Draco protested in disbelief at the news of his father's imprisonment. "I thought the Dementors were supposed to be on _our _side now. And what about Fudge? He's never let father down before!"

"That is exactly why he won't be there for long," said Severus. He stood by the fireplace and looked more relaxed than either of them. Narcissa was on the verge of hysteria since Lucius had left, and both children were genuinely affected by the news of his departure. Bellatrix appeared merely annoyed they were making such a fuss: she certainly wouldn't miss Lucius, and had endured a lot of more time in Azkaban than he ever would without complaint.

"Fudge hasn't got a choice. He can no longer deny the Dark Lord's return, and since your father was caught red-handed, Fudge would have brought upon him the rage of the entire Wizarding society if he would let him off the hook," Severus continued his explanation. "The Dark Lord will return to full power soon. Before you know it your father will be home again."

"And of course we all know Azkaban isn't what it used to be now the Dementors are on our side," Bella snorted. It was obvious she thought they were making a fuss of nothing. "I dare say now one can hardly tell the difference between Azkaban and the Leaky Cauldron."

"I would say such optimism is _quite _exaggerated, Bellatrix," Severus frowned before addressing the children again. "Although your aunt may have a point: I dare say we needn't worry about your father's wellbeing _too _much."

Despite Severus's words, worrying seemed to be exactly what the Malfoys did. Draco looked tense and, although he seemed intent on being mature, the despair could be read off his face. Lucia had reduced herself to tears, seeming to have forgotten every part of her upbringing that had taught her such weakness was unnecessary. Her father was everything to her; facing the summer holidays without him and without his safety guaranteed must be a nightmare to her.

"Mother, it seems Lucia is too young to be present when we discuss matters of importance," Draco said, throwing his sister a disgusted glance. It seemed unfair Lucius was always so hard on Draco, while it was Lucia who needed more lessons in proper conduct.

Her son's words shook Narcissa out of her reverie. She had been staring into the flames of the fireplace, her mind drifting off as she let Severus and her sister deal with the children. The fears she had had since the Dark Lord's return had heightened ever since Lucius was imprisoned. Somehow it made everything more real. The first war had never hit them so personally before; Lucius had always escaped without much more than a wound or a backfired curse.

"Don't argue, children," she said weakly, without having registered much of the conversation at all. "Lucia, listen to your brother. He's the man of the house in your father's absence."

Draco looked as delighted as if Christmas had come early upon hearing these words, while Lucia merely dried her tears and looked sullen.

"We'll have to see about that, won't we?" said Bella. "If he is the man you think he is, Cissy."

"Whatever do you mean?" Narcissa frowned, suddenly alert.

"Nothing. The Dark Lord will tell you the news himself," Bella smiled, ominously, the way only she could.

The Dark Lord came to their house the following evening. He did not come alone; all Death Eaters had invited themselves over for a meeting in the Manor's drawing room. The moment the Dark Lord had entered the house it was as if temperature had dropped impressively. Despite the clammy nights of July, Narcissa found herself shivering with cold.

She had seated herself next to Draco when they all took their seats around the long table. Draco's presence had been especially requested, which did not promise much good. Narcissa thought the boy much too young to be present during a Death Eater meeting. She watched him sit proud and straight, as he had been taught. He had not said a word when she told him he would have to be present. He had merely nodded and gone up to his room to prepare. If only she knew what he was thinking... Lucius had taught him well in hiding his emotions and keeping his composure. When he reached his hand across the table to pick up the glass of water, his hand trembled, betraying his true feelings. He looked so young despite his determination. Narcissa tried to send him a reassuring smile, but with her own nerves she feared it looked barely more than a twitch.

"Now that we are all here, I believe it is time for us to make further plans," the Dark Lord started. His mere voice sent shivers down Narcissa's spine and she kept her gaze on the wooden table in front of her. She was not the only one. No one dared to look directly at the Dark Lord. Except Bella, who kept her gaze on him; her eyes round in a worshipping kind of faith. She looked so intent as if she wanted to drain every syllable he uttered.

"Of course it pains me to see our army incomplete this evening," he continued. "Lucius Malfoy, who has served me so fondly in the past, has been unable to escape Azkaban." His already narrow eyes squinted as they wandered over everyone present in the room. "And above all: he has failed me," his voice cracked like thunder to the room. It was especially loud because not a single other sound could be heard; they all appeared to be holding their breaths for what was to come.

Narcissa wondered if this was it. If he would publicly torture her and Draco to atone for Lucius' sins. But then, why was Lucia's presence not requested? She was upstairs sleeping safely in her bed. Although, Narcissa doubted she would be able to sleep knowing the Dark Lord himself was down here.

"But you all know your Lord can be merciful, to those who are worthy," the Dark Lord continued his monologue. "And Lucius Malfoy has been worthy in the past. And even now, his wife has so graciously opened their home to us," he paused to let his words sink in, while Narcissa worked very hard to keep her composure. She had never felt such fear. She never used to attend meetings, so mainly knew from Lucius' tales how frightening the Dark Lord could be. She didn't know how he could stand it to spend so much time in his presence. She herself was trembling like a leaf within five minutes.

"So I have decided to give him a second chance. A second chance the moment we free him from Azkaban. And a gift to go with that. The gift, of welcoming his son in our midst."

The room fell yet more silent upon such news. Narcissa didn't dare to look up; if she did now, she would surely lose it. She could fell Bella's eyes on her, forcing her to say something or react in some way, but she could not.

When she was still not able to, Bella stepped in. "The family is speechless at your generosity, my Lord," she said. "What might you have in mind for the boy to prove his loyalty to you?"

"I want to clear the way to Harry Potter," Voldemort said, his agitation at the mention of the Potter boy apparent. "I want to get rid of the Headmaster of Hogwarts. The old fool who has been in my way for much too long. I want Draco, to kill Albus Dumbledore."

There were some appreciative murmurs from the crowd as they registered what the Dark Lord had just said. It masked the gasp that left Narcissa's lips and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand. Beside her Draco paled visibly –an accomplishment considering the Malfoy's complexion.  
Narcissa understood very clearly now all the times Lucius had ended up doing such dangerous jobs for the Dark Lord without a second thought. You just didn't say no to Lord Voldemort. She tried to say something. Her mouth opened to protest, but no sound came out. She wanted to, -had to- defend Draco, but her mouth was so dry she couldn't even swallow. She heard Draco make a feeble noise, something between a gasp and a sob. He was too young. He was a child still, barely sixteen.  
Somewhere she heard Bella taking over again, going out of her way to thank the Dark Lord for this wonderful opportunity, for his benevolence, for this undeserved second chance for Lucius and his family. All Narcissa could think of was how everything was falling apart. It wasn't just her husband now, it was her son too.

They were not alone in it, though. While Bella would disregard Narcissa's pleas to beg the Dark Lord to choose someone else for this job, she did volunteer to educate Draco. And then there was Severus. He too had no powers to change the situation, but would help where he could. He had even sworn the Unbreakable Vow on it. Unnecessary perhaps, since he was Draco's godfather and had proven himself trustworthy, but Narcissa would not take any risks in such a precarious situation.  
With the help of these two, Narcissa sometimes allowed herself to think Draco had a chance at succeeding. More often, though, she despaired. The Dark Lord had made it seem as if it was a reward, but she was very much aware using Draco for something so important was a punishment.  
The night before the children would return to Hogwarts, Narcissa wandered over the corridors, checking the fireplaces were all put out before she went to bed. She checked on Lucia first, and found her in a deep sleep, curled up in a ball under several blankets. Her hair was fanned out on the pillow, long eyelashes curling over the edge of her cheekbone. She was a sweet child; never any trouble. Intelligent, too, and every potential to become a beautiful woman. The daughter any woman would want. And Narcissa had tried very hard to want her. She had always tried to open her heart to Lucia. She would never neglect her or physically hurt her, but she had always felt a distance. Her bond with her daughter was so very different from the one she shared with Draco.

When she approached Draco's room, and opened the door very carefully, she could hear the muffled sobs already. He was really too old to have his mother check on him, but in the same time she thought he may need her more than ever now.

"Darling," she whispered, seating herself on the edge of his bed. Her heart ached for his pain. It was hard to say which of the two suffered more; the mother, or the son. Her hand ran through his hair soothingly, remembering how he used to fall asleep in her arms when he was a baby.

"Mother is here now," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his tear-stained cheek. "Everything is going to be all right. You're so very brave."

He rolled over to face her, not afraid to show his weakness now, in the darkness with no one else around. His body trembled in the aftermath of his upset state, but she could already feel him calming down. She had always had that effect on him. Even as a baby, she had been the only one able to comfort him.

"Mother, I can't..." he whispered. "I don't know how.. how can I take a life?" he moved to sit up, but she stopped him, gently tucking him back into the bed.

"Shh," she whispered. "Your godfather will do everything he can to help you. You must try, darling."  
In truth she did not know what words of comfort to offer her son. She wanted to tell him she believed he could be successful, but then she would support him becoming a murderer.

"I will always love you," she said instead. No words were really needed, anyway. "Just remember you are never alone."

He was so very tired. She could see it; the way his eyelids were drooping even now that he still had so much to worry about.

"Don't go yet," he whispered, his features finally relaxing somewhat as she continued to sit by him, caressing his hair and his face to help him over the threshold into dreamland.

"I will stay until you sleep," Narcissa said softly. But he was already asleep; his breathing was deeper now, his features relaxing, tears slowly drying up on his face. She leaned down to kiss the remainders of the tears off his cheek. He was so very much a child still. How could she let him go back to school with this mission that would destroy him? And yet if she did not let him go, the Dark Lord would destroy all of them. It was the same it had always been for Lucius. Everything for the family.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm loving all your support so far! Please keep reviewing, it encourages me :) xoxo AnnaChase


	14. Of Mothers and Daughters

**Chapter Fourteen: Of Mothers and Daughters**

_'__We changed again, and yet again, and it was now too late and too far to go back, and I went on. And the mists had all solemnly risen now, and the world lay spread before me.'_

_-Charles Dickens: Great Expectations_

Draco failed but the job was done. Done by no other than Severus, as he had promised. Dumbledore's death made everything so much more serious, but Narcissa could not help feel relief. Her son was not a murderer. Severus had spared him. It might be inevitable in the end, but for now he was still her boy. His innocent soul intact. Or relatively so. She had seen with her own eyes too often what it did to people to commit murder. Bellatrix had been very young, still at Hogwarts. And while she had always been wild and interested in the Dark Arts, it seemed to have sent her over the edge with no way back. Lucius had barely coped in the first war, and he had been older than Draco was now.

She sat by her son's bedside while he slept peacefully due to a Sleeping Draught. He had been so upset, convinced his failure would lead to the deaths of the entire family. Even Narcissa had not been able to calm him this time.

"I see he's settled now," Severus stated as he entered Draco's bedroom to see how the both of them were.

"Yes, the potion was effective as always," Narcissa smiled vaguely in response, unwilling to tear her eyes away from her son. "Are you safe here?"

"As safe as can be, with all the protection the Dark Lord placed upon your house."

"Severus," Narcissa trusted Draco's sleep to be deep enough by now to leave him to it, and she stood up. "This was a great risk you took. I cannot begin to thank you..."

"You needn't," he assured her.

"You've risked your life. Your safety. Everything."

"I did it for good reason, Narcissa. More reasons than you know," he said decisively, but not unkindly.

When it became obvious Severus would not accept her grace, she took up her seat by Draco's bedside again. "How has Lucia been this year? She barely wrote to me at all."

"As well as can be expected," Severus responded, taking his seat on the other side of his sleeping godson. "She does what fifteen-year-old girls do. Occupies herself with gossip and such frivolities," the corner of his lips twitched towards the hint of a smile.

"She's never quite like her brother, is she?" Narcissa stroked a strand of hair from Draco's face as he continued to sleep.

"They are two very different children," Severus agreed.

He was probably the only one that treated the children equally fair. And yet Narcissa had never meant for it to be like that. Supposedly it had started out with her inability to form a proper mother-daughter bond with Lucia. Lucius had unbalanced things too, though. He had always been much harder on Draco. He had even punished him physically as a younger child, while Lucia always got off scot-free. In response Narcissa had spoiled Draco more than she should have, and meanwhile only increased the distance between her and Lucia. She blamed herself for allowing their family dynamics to become that way, but in the same time she could think of nothing to change them. Not effectively.

"I know that," she mused quietly. "And I know I should try harder with Lucia. I suppose she's just been very busy at school. Year four is a tough one isn't it? OWL preparations starting, I expect that's kept her busy. "

"Narcissa, I'm afraid your daughter's grades are no longer our main concern. The Dark Lord's wrath might not be as bad now because I made sure the intended job was done, but Draco _has _failed him. And so has Lucius. That is two times too many. You must be careful."

She listened and held her breath as he spoke. He was right, of course. Their most prominent worry now was how the Dark Lord would take revenge for this expanding list of failures on their end. It never used to be like this. She had spent over a decade thinking nothing could ever be worse than their experiences during the first war. And now the second war proved to be so much worse.

Narcissa did her best to live up to her own promise. That week she took her daughter out to lunch. Diagon Alley looked very different from before. A lot of shopkeepers had gone bankrupt: not as much demand with a lot of blood traitor and muggleborn families gone into hiding. Nothing much had changed in Knockturn Alley, on the other hand. The only difference there was that a lot of places now had signs put up stating 'Purebloods Only'.

Narcissa took Lucia to the Hyperion Restaurant; an exclusive place only affordable to the highest in society. Despite all, that still included the Malfoy family.

"I must say I am surprised about today, Mother," Lucia spoke once they had been appointed a table. She was fifteen years old now, no longer really a child at least in appearance. Even now Narcissa could see men throwing her daughter appreciative glances. She was, in every way, a Malfoy. Lucia's hair had remained white blonde, and her skin a perfect, unblemished ivory. She carried the proud, haughty composure of the rest of the family. Combined with years of ballet lessons, she possessed a regal sort of grace. It was strange to think that when Narcissa had been that age, her parents been busy debating candidates for her future marriage already.

"I simply thought in the midst of all the present gloominess we should take some time to relax," Narcissa replied, studying the menu in front of them.

"Without Draco?"

"Why yes, some girl-time, as I believe you call it these days," Narcissa said. "I see they're not very original anymore. Pumpkin soup, you must get that daily at school."

"Mother," Lucia frowned, until Narcissa was forced to look up at the tone in her voice.

She sighed and closed the menu. Supposedly it was quite strange; she had never volunteered to take her daughter out on a women-only occasion before. Not for the sake of fun, anyway. It seemed to demand more of an explanation.

"It is what I said, Lucia. I understand it must have been hard for you without your father. But all the signs are there that he will be returning to us very soon," Narcissa said. She had expected this to cheer her daughter up at the very least, but Lucia still looked gloomy.

"Draco says it will be me next. Now that the Dark Lord is displeased with both him and Father. He says now it will be my turn."

Draco must have spoken with Severus, then, who also seemed to expect such a turn of events.

"We don't know that. So far your aunt and Alecto Carrow are the only women in the Dark Lord's ranks. He's not any more likely to choose you than he is to choose me."

"But he might," Lucia pressed on stubbornly. "And if he does, I am not properly prepared."

"It isn't my fault you prefer reading Witch Weekly and gossiping to your lessons, Lucia," Narcissa responded, sounding harsher than she had intended. Somehow every attempt at normal conversation with her daughter went wrong. Perhaps Lucius had really spoiled her too much, causing her not to know her place when it came down to it.

"You know very well that isn't what I mean, Mother," Lucia said. "Last year when Draco was given a task everyone went out of their way to provide him with extra lessons in Occlumency and the Dark Arts and whatnot. And yet when there is a chance I may need them, the risk seems to be ignored entirely."

They were momentarily interrupted by the waiter coming to take their order. It was a welcome distraction, considering people were starting to glance their way at Lucia's voice carrying within the other guests' earshot. Narcissa had barely gotten a chance to study the menu, so she merely ordered a light salad. Lucia chose a less diet-approved pasta.

"Should you be eating that?" Narcissa frowned, distracted by her daughter's choice. She herself would never voluntarily come near a plate of pasta. "You're almost a grown-up lady, you should start watching your figure more. You may have my genes, but it's hard work to stay in shape."

"At least _I _eat, Mother," Lucia said, her frown deepening. Her answer only further confirmed Narcissa's suspicion that Lucia had ordered it rather to get on her nerves than because she was so fond of pasta.

"I won't allow you to use such a tone on me, Lucia," Narcissa responded. A public display of rebellious adolescence was not what she had planned for today at all.

"I can ask your godfather to teach you some extra this summer," she got back to the original subject they had been arguing about. "But I assure you I doubt the Dark Lord will expect a lady like yourself to join his ranks." Denial was ever a beautiful thing, when it was accomplished.

"Whatever do you mean by that?" Lucia's fury was more than obvious at this point.

"What I mean, is that you should instead busy yourself with the more _likely_ nearby future. Take your OWLs and your NEWTs, and then your father and I will find you a suitable husband. Your father has spoiled you for a very long time, but I assure you the day will come when you too will have to do your duty to this family, like we all did. Girls like you make good marriages to strengthen our bonds with other Pureblood families. "

"Doing my duty?" Lucia repeated angrily. "By wedding a man of your choice? By providing him with children for the sake of society? By wasting away an unlived life from the age of twenty after accomplishing the few things life expects of 'good little Pureblood girls'? I have no wish to do what you did, _Mother."_

It took Narcissa every ounce of self-control not to strike her daughter right then and there. Lucia chose her battles well, in the protection of the public eye. It might be one of the few resemblances between the two of them.

"Do not pretend to know about my life, Lucia. You know _nothing_," she hissed through gritted teeth.

Needless to say, the rest of lunch was a rather cold affair. They barely spoke from the moment lunch was served, and both were glad when the time had come to apparate back to the grounds of Malfoy Manor. Narcissa was forced to admit that her attempt to improve her relationship with her daughter had failed miserably. Where she had hoped Lucius's absence might bring the advantage of her and Lucia growing closer, they had never been further apart than they were at present.

When they entered the Manor and gave their cloaks to an elf, it told them Bellatrix was in the drawing room. Narcissa and Lucia stepped in there to greet their sister and aunt.

"Where were you? I've been waiting for ages, I have news," Bella remarked, looking up upon their entrance. She had made herself comfortable on the sofa, flipping through a copy of _Witch Weekly_ as she sipped a cup of tea.

"I took Lucia out for lunch," Narcissa reminded her, motioning for the elf to pour them some more tea.

"Ah yes," Bella said, glancing from Narcissa's tense look to Lucia, who remained standing in the doorframe with a sullen expression on her young face. "I take it, it was a success?" she grinned at the obvious opposite.

"Hardly," Narcissa frowned, and turned her gaze on her daughter. "Haven't you got any homework to do?"

"I've finished everything already," Lucia replied.

"Then you can go and check things over. I'm sure you're not at 'Outstanding' level on all your OWL-subjects yet," she snapped. In order for the atmosphere to improve and her headache to vanish she needed her daughter out of her sight for a while.

When Lucia disappeared up the stairs, Narcissa sighed audibly and sank down in one of the armchairs. "Oh, that child," she complained. "She is impossible."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I told you hundreds of times you've been too soft with them. That is how you get willful children, Cissy. Children need to be seen, not heard. When you don't discipline them properly they won't know their place. If I had children I would gladly give them up to the Dark Lord's service. I would do everything I could to prepare them for that purpose. I'm afraid yours have become exactly what I feared Malfoy's children would be like."

"Oh, and what is that, exactly?" Narcissa said. Her head was pounding. She had her old migraines coming back along with the stress of another war. It made smooth conversation impossible today especially, or so it seemed.

"The girl is too spoiled and the boy is a weakling, like Lucius."

"Only because Lucius didn't risk imprisonment like you did in the first war, doesn't mean he's weak, Bella!" Her defence of Lucius went automatically. It also occurred to her at that point, that her disagreements with her sister were becoming more and more pronounced.

"All right, all right, hold your hippogriffs," Bella commented with a sigh. The subject was quickly boring her visibly.

"You had news," Narcissa said, suddenly remembering the reason of Bella's visit.

"Indeed," Bella nodded, handing her a sealed envelope.

Narcissa took the envelope and quickly opened it, her eyes hurriedly scanning over the words. When the meaning of the message got through to her, her face lit up for the very first time that day.

"Lucius," she breathed. "They will release him tonight!"

* * *

!Author's Note: Thank you all again for reading so far! The rest of the story will follow Cissy's POV still, but it hooks in to the story I wrote years ago about Lucia ("Heart's Betrayal", to be found on my profile page). It might be handy or fun for you readers to check that out, but even if you don't the story will be easy to follow, I think! I must warn you though; When I wrote that story I was a teenager with much less writing experience, so I'm not very happy about that writing anymore. Still it is fun to see I've improved! The only important difference between this story and the old one, is that I won't make Lucia a Death Eater anymore in this one. I am considering re-writing Heart's Betrayal to fix that (and other things), but at least now I have inquired you all ahead by this AN . Keep reading and don't forget to review! xoxo AnnaChase


	15. Another Sacrifice

**Chapter Fifteen: Another Sacrifice**

_It is dark and you are near the edge of a cliff, but you're moving slowly, not sure which direction you're heading in. Your steps are tentative but they are still blind in the night. You don't realize how close you are to the edge, how the soft earth could give away, how you could just slip a bit and suddenly plunge into the dark._

_-Harlan Coben: Hold Tight_

When Lucius returned from Azkaban he had visibly suffered. While his sufferings had indeed not been as dreadful as those of Bellatrix and Rodolphus, his time in prison had certainly not been comparable to a stay in the Leaky Cauldron. He had aged visibly; the lines in his face now more pronounced. His white blond hair was specked with hints of grey, and he was in desperate need of a shave. The look on his face was worn, as if he had seen too much of life. Yet even so he was not as thin as Narcissa had feared. He still had his proud composure. Now the Dementors were under the Dark Lord's control, Lucius had been fairly well-treated. While he had suffered, he had not been broken.

After the children had calmed their enthusiasm upon being reunited with their father, Narcissa took him up to his chambers. He was too tired to deal with much of their teenage rambling at present.  
Narcissa had helped him bathe, and dress, and she now busied herself about the room; poking up the fireplace and pouring him drinks. Lucius, meanwhile, simply sat on the edge of the bed staring ahead of him. It worried her to see her husband like this. The difference between the state of him now and the composed man that was always in control was grand.

"Shall I get one of the elves to fetch you some more soup?" she suggested, attempting normal conversation.

"No, I'm good," Lucius said, sounding as if he barely had the energy to speak at all. "Cissa?"

"Yes?" she turned around and was able to read the pain in his eyes. Shocked at such display of feelings Lucius rarely showed, she dropped to her knees in front of him, taking his hands in her own. He felt so cold, despite the fireplace heating the room.

"Have you been mistreated?" he whispered, bringing one of her hands up to press a kiss to it.

"No," she quickly assured him truthfully. She herself had not suffered a single hex or curse by the Dark Lord's hands. She would have gladly, though, if that had meant Draco would not be involved. "But Draco…"

"I've heard," Lucius nodded dejectedly.

"If it weren't for Severus, I don't know what would have happened."

"The Dark Lord is still displeased," he continued, laying down on the bed. She could barely imagine how good it must feel to have a soft bed again, after nearly a year in prison.

"We will set things right," she assured him, allowing her fingers to run through his hair as she sat by him. His worries were apparent, and shared by her, but at present they were not what they needed.  
"What has it been like for you?" she then asked, her voice dropping to a whisper.

"Not as bad as it would have been, with the Dementors," Lucius admitted tiredly. One of his hands still held tightly onto hers. "I could only ever think of you, and the children."

"We thought of you, too," she smiled softly. "It's been difficult, for both the children."

"And for you?" he inquired. "I worried the Dark Lord would take his anger out on you."

"I've been safe," she assured him mainly.

"The house, it's in such a state…"

"It's been turned into Headquarters, I'm afraid," Narcissa nodded and occupied the spot on the bed beside him. She did not relax completely, though. Somehow part of her was still reluctant at sharing a bed with Lucius, even if she was sure no intimacies would be involved. "There wasn't much I could do about that. I wish I could have done more to protect us. And Draco. It's been so hard for him."

"You mustn't blame yourself for anything, Narcissa," Lucius assured her. "It should have been my job to keep us safe and protect the family. I have failed on so many levels…"

They both knew what he was referring to, but neither ever spoke of it. The thing was: in this new war, that seemed to affect them ever more personally than before, they needed each other. Old loyalties weren't what they used to be. Lucius was not as appreciated by the Dark Lord as he once was, and Narcissa's bond with her sister had altered so much. She used to count herself safe with Bella's loyalty to their sisterhood, but now she found herself slowly withdrawing from her. Bella's loyalty to the Dark Lord knew no boundaries.

As night fell, Narcissa listened to her husband's breathing slowing into slumber. She kept telling herself to get up and leave, but somehow she could not. Her heart ached at the thought of the loneliness he must have experienced in prison, and how it had affected him. And so she stayed, just for the night. Fully-clothed and on top of the covers, but feeling somehow their regained bundled strengths might be of use.

* * *

It took some time before things changed for the Malfoy family. For a year or two things went on as they were, while the Dark Lord was preoccupied with the newly declared war and his search of the Potter boy. Lucius did his bit as a Death Eater, but he never quite reached the status he had in the First War. The Dark Lord would not forget his failure, nor his son's. Draco was nineteen now, and Narcissa was often impressed by how well he handled everything. Youth was supposed to be a careless time, but there was no time for that in this war.

While Draco had an established status as a Death Eater since he had been branded with the Dark Mark, Lucius had managed to keep him out of the truly dangerous tasks after his failed attempt to murder Dumbledore. He was not assigned any other personal missions, so this far he got by with some basic muggle harassment.

Narcissa supposed she ought to feel content with the way things were. It seemed as if they had passed the Dark Lord's wrath. She knew better, though. The Dark Lord did not forget. If anything he made sure to let them feel as if their life was a ticking time bomb; waiting until he would cause it to explode.

In the winter of 1999 Lucia came of age. An important occasion that should not be passed by unnoticed. Lucius insisted a ball was held for his only daughter's birthday, and his wish was granted. Narcissa hardly felt like celebrating anything at present, but she complied. Such occasions were a fine way of staying close to the right people in such uncertain times, and, a way to do what they had so far put off: judging future marriage candidates for Lucia. When Narcissa herself had turned seventeen, she had long since known what man she would marry. It was the custom for Pureblood families to arrange marriages; how else keep the blood pure? Lucius, however, often claimed times were too uncertain to choose a man for his only daughter. Loyalties were constantly changing with some families turning out to be blood traitors, and others coming over to their side. Narcissa suspected, though, that he simply wished to keep Lucia to himself.

If the Pureblood society was ever well-represented, it was tonight. Lucia's coming of age ball was quite a work of art. In the midst of dark times, Malfoy Manor held a glamour so bright it hurt one's eyes. From the joyous manner the guests were behaving, it was strange to think they were at war. The dance floor of the ballroom was full of youngsters dancing the waltzes Narcissa used to love. While she had shared a dance or two with Lucius, over the years she had found these occasions were best used for things happening off-centre. It was the networking that truly counted.

"I see you've made it after all!" Narcissa smiled as she found Lucius sharing a drink with Severus and the Carrow siblings. The three of them were very busy at Hogwarts these days, being now in charge of it. "How are things at Hogwarts?"

"Oh, the usual," said Alecto Carrow. "I dare say we're becoming more and more settled in, you know? It takes a year or two to get the hang of a teaching job without any previous experience. And the old bat was in charge for so long turning it into a shrine of muggle-loving, it's a whole reverse process."

Alecto and her brother Amycus were only newly risen stars in the Dark Lord's army; their former status nothing over mediocre. And so they were obviously new to society. Which was apparent by their terribly overdone state of dress. Tasteless was the word Narcissa would use for Alecto's obvious display of cleavage. Her dress was a shocking tone of purple and obviously a size or two too small. It was a miracle she had managed to get the zipper up. Her brother was not much better. Amycus' robes were silver with golden stars, glittering so shockingly it clashed with just about anyone else's clothing.  
"Yes, I suppose it must be," Narcissa agreed absent-mindedly. She knew more than enough about the current state of Hogwarts from her children's stories. Hogwarts was now openly supporting the Dark Lord, no muggleborn students allowed. Anyone with a history of blood traitor ancestry was in for a rough time. Objectively, she supposed she ought to consider this a good thing. And it would be, if the new Hogwarts wouldn't have been entirely lacking in atmosphere.

"Have you seen Lucia yet?" she decided to change the subject to the very reason for tonight's ball. "She was very excited about tonight."

"Yes, we attempted to wish her a happy birthday, but she seems ever surrounded by a vast collection of suitors," Severus remarked with the hint of an amused smile. He looked very out of place on such a joyous occasion, and no doubt wished he had remained at Hogwarts. His goddaughter's coming of age, though, was something worth attending apparently.

Upon his words, Narcissa glanced over to her daughter. Now officially of age, Lucia no longer dressed in the frilly dresses little girls liked. For tonight her rose red ball gown did everything to underline the fact that she was now an adult. It was something Narcissa herself could have selected, although she preferred lighter pastels overall. As Severus had remarked, Lucia was surrounded by at least five young men, most of them friends of Draco's and young Death Eaters.

"Merlin, that girl has more suitors than Rowena Ravenclaw ever had," Alecto commented, an obvious edge of jealousy to her words.

"Not as much as Cissy and I used to have," said a voice from behind their little group.

"Bella!" Narcissa smiled and embraced her sister shortly in greeting. "I'm so glad you came."

"Only passing a message," Bella assured her younger sister. Bellatrix had never used to like such parties. Ever since she returned from Azkaban she had tended to avoid them altogether; claiming there were much more important things to do instead.

"And wishing my niece a happy birthday, although I understand she's rather pre-occupied," she chuckled lightly.

"She's certainly given out all her dances already," Narcissa nodded, thinking it was rather unlike Bella to show any interest in her niece at all.

"What message are you on about, Bella?" Lucius reminded his sister-in-law to get to business.

"In private, preferably," Bella told her with a glance towards the Carrows. From the very start Bella had showed a particular dislike towards Alecto. Perhaps because her status as a Death Eater made Bella no longer the only female follower of the Dark Lord.

"Is this about Lucia? Shall I fetch her?" Lucius suggested, with a frown.  
"No, that's quite all right," Bella went into the hallway with Lucius and Narcissa. They left Severus to entertain the Carrows, although that was probably a lot to ask.

"Let her enjoy her last few moments of freedom," Bella continued, causing both Lucius and Narcissa to exchange a worried glance.

"Get to business, Bella. We don't need your snarky comments to get on our nerves." Needless to say, their many years spent apart had not done much to improve Lucius and Bella's relationship.

"Very well," Bella stood still when they were in a rather deserted part of the hallway. "The Dark Lord will be arriving here later tonight."

This was enough at least for Narcissa to pale visibly and hold herself up by the wall.

"What for?" Lucius asked, sounding tense and rather frightened. When the Dark Lord arrived for an unexpected meeting is was never a good sign. It either meant one of them had failed him, or that he had special plans.

"Why, for the birthday girl of course," Bella grinned as she watched Lucius pale a shade that matched Narcissa's.

It was like a train wreck; Narcissa had known for a while that it must be coming, and that it was unavoidable. And yet that did not make it any less disastrous.

"Lucia is not a Death Eater," Lucius said furiously, intent on taking his anger out on Bella. It was, after all, not an option to contradict the Dark Lord himself. Not if they valued their lives.

"No, but she can be of use to the Dark Lord. It is a wonderful opportunity. If she succeeds, the Dark Lord will welcome you all back into his highest grace," Bella continued, her eyes becoming glassy as always when she spoke of her master.

"If... if, she succeeds?" Narcissa repeated, her voice trembling.

"Yes," Bella nodded. "The task the Dark Lord has set for her is difficult, no doubt. But not impossible, if she knows how to use her assets. He will inform you and her of the task himself when he arrives here after the party. But keep in mind, the Dark Lord will not allow one family to fail him thrice. This might well be your last chance."

Narcissa felt rather sick when she followed Lucius back into the ballroom. They both watched their daughter spin around in the arms of Blaise Zabini. She looked radiant; her hair tumbling down her shoulders as the hairpins could not handle all the dancing. Her young face was flushed, her eyes sparkling with youthful delight.

They allowed Lucia a few more moments of this, before they went up to her, forced to ruin their daughter's happiness with an ominous message.


	16. Labours of Love

**Chapter Sixteen: Labours of Love**

_Like the generation of leaves, the lives of mortal men. Now the wind scatters the old leaves across the earth, now the living timber bursts with the new buds and spring comes round again. And so with men: as one generation comes to life, another dies away.  
-Homer: The Iliad_

Once more the Dark Lord was in their drawing room. He sat at the head of the table, commanding fear with his red slit-like eyes that noticed everything. Narcissa remembered the first time he had come to their house for such a meeting. It had just been her and Draco then, waiting for the verdict they would have no say against. In many ways it was the same now. The difference was that Lucius was present, and it was about Lucia rather than her brother. Narcissa was grateful for her husband's presence. Even if he could do nothing much to protect them, it made her feel less alone in this. They were ever united, after all, through their children.

Lucia seemed unrealistically composed. She sat in between her parents, hands resting in her lap as she stared down at them. She was still in her formal attire, the ruffled skirt spread out around her. The contrast to the party they had just been enjoying could not have been greater.  
Besides Narcissa, Lucius, Lucia and Bellatrix, no one else was present. The guests had all gone home, and it ought to be a private meeting either way.

"Lucius, are you aware of the reason for this meeting?" the Dark Lord spoke through the silence. With every word he said Narcissa could feel goose bumps forming on her skin. Whatever it was he had in mind for Lucia, she didn't think it could end as well as it had with Draco. Severus had been able to take over, then, but would that be possible a second time?

"No, my Lord," Lucius replied truthfully, casting a glance towards Narcissa. She returned it with a small, reassuring smile. "Something special, Bellatrix tells me."

"Indeed, Lucius," the Dark Lord nodded. "Are you not grateful I will consider giving your family another chance, after the multiple times you have now failed me?"

"Very grateful, my Lord," Lucius was quick to respond. They were distracted by Nagini, the snake, that kept moving around the table and sometimes disappeared momentarily out of sight. "If I may be so free to ask... what task have you set for us?"

Narcissa could hear the hesitation in his voice. This must be hard on him especially. Lucia was, after all, everything to him. Lucius always watched over his daughter like a hawk, and now there was little he could do to protect her.

The Dark Lord, instead of responding, narrowed his red eyes further and directed them on Lucia instead. "Lucia," he said.

The girl stood up and made her way over to him, dropping to her knees in front of him, her eyes cast down towards the floor. "My Lord," she whispered. "It is my great honour to serve you."

Lucia's honour quickly turned out to be different from what they had expected. The Dark Lord had set her a task quite unlike any task he set before. It did not involve killing, or torturing, but something of a yet more primal nature. The impasse the war had reached, caused the Dark Lord to change some of his tactics. He was intent on finding out more on the plans of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and for that he needed a spy. But not the usual kind of spy. The sort of spy that would successfully seduce Harry Potter himself, for information. Lucia was to win over his trust, and make him fall in love with her. So that she could betray his trust and repeat every word he said to the Dark Lord himself. The mission, unfortunately, seemed as impossible as the one Draco had received in the past. How could the Dark Lord expect a seventeen-year-old girl with no life experience to play the cunning seductress?

"Do you have an idea how to go about it?" Narcissa asked her daughter, having followed her to her bedroom when they were dismissed. The girl had seemed so startlingly calm, it was almost as if the seriousness of the matter did not get through to her.

"Lucia!" she grabbed hold of her daughter's shoulders when she did not respond, and pulled her to face her. "This is serious!"

"I know, Mother!" Lucia pulled herself free from her grip. She looked furious. "You heard the Dark Lord! I am not to have any help with this."

"But what do you know? You have to start making a plan," Narcissa pressed on, refusing to let the subject go. As troubled as her relationship with Lucia was, she did fear for her safety. For her life. For all of their lives, admittedly.

"I will!" Lucia said. She kicked off her high heels and tossed them in the corner carelessly. Her room still bore the aftermaths of her preparations for the ball. Her bed was full of a variety of dresses she had tried on, and many jars of make-up were half opened. The elves had been here just now, for the many gifts Lucia had received were neatly stacked up in her room.

"The Dark Lord has chosen me for this, because he believes I can do it" Lucia said proudly. She had listened to her aunt Bella too often, obviously.

Narcissa had always known her daughter was too proud, perhaps due to Lucius spoiling her so excessively. Lucia thought she could handle just about anything, and need not fear. As good a quality that might be sometimes, it was rather unrealistic when dealing with the Dark Lord himself. A lot depended on this mission, and not just for Lucia.

"Do you even have an inkling of what does means for all of us?" she asked her, her voice dropping the edge of hysteria.

"Of course I do," Lucia replied haughtily. "This is my chance to succeed, where Draco could not."

"Your brother was set an impossible task, when he was much younger than he is now. We believe the Dark Lord merely set him the task as a punishment for your father's fault at the Department of Ministries," Narcissa was quick to defend her son. But even so, the rivalry between both her children was endless.

"Yet he was never given a second chance. And now I can show my loyalty," Lucia held her head high as she stared into her mother's eyes. Narcissa suspected, then, that she was pretending to be more brave than she really was. Had it occurred to Lucia at all that the nature of her mission was no different than that of her brother's?

"Fine," Narcissa retreated eventually. "Suit yourself. I cannot help you if you continued to be this stubborn."

Lucia's glare did not falter, and she was forced to leave her behind. When had she managed to deliver such a strong headed child to this world?

In the hallway, she ran into Draco. By the way his hair was messy and there was a faint trace of lipstick on his collar, she suspected he had been in a recent rendezvous with Pansy Parkinson and had just been showing her out.

"Draco," she smiled and stood still. He was still in his dress robes. He had not been requested at the meeting with the Dark Lord, and so he must be blissfully unaware of the mission his sister had been appointed.

"Mother." He seemed uncomfortable. Perhaps he thought she had no way of knowing he took girls to his private chambers. Now she didn't think Pansy Parkinson was a particularly serious candidate for becoming the next Mrs Malfoy, but they had more pressing matters at present.

"How was the meeting?" he asked.

"Yes, I thought we could share a word on that," Narcissa threw a glance over her shoulder to make sure they weren't being overheard before she took Draco to her chambers.

"It's about your sister," she started. "The Dark Lord appointed her a mission. Something quite... different from the one you were given, but just as dangerous. If not more so."

Draco obviously tried to find the right attitude in response to hearing this news. His dislike for his sister was strong, but how far did their rivalry go? He didn't seem to have much of a clue. And either way, he was well aware displaying his dislike for Lucia openly would not do much for him either.

"Why would you tell me all this?" he finally asked.

"Because I can't seem to get through to her," Narcissa explained, sinking down on the sofa. The long day's exhaustion was starting to weigh down on her. "She doesn't seem to understand how important this is. Or she's trying to play tough to me."

"She's usually like that," Draco shrugged his shoulders. "Not a sane word from her, if you ask me," he wrinkled his nose at the thought of his little sister.

Supposedly it didn't seem fair Lucia was given a mission of equal importance from the one he had had three years ago. She had never showed any intention of becoming a Death Eater. Draco had long been eager for a second chance to prove he was worth more than he had shown as a sixteen-year-old.

"Your sister, is going to need all the help she can get."

With a flick of her wand, Narcissa conjured a bottle of wine and two glasses. They came soaring over and, with another flick, the bottle started pouring the wine.

"Have a drink," she murmured pensively, taking a few very welcome sips. Draco followed her example.

"You're trying to say I should help her? I don't even know what this mission is, Mother. You're not about to tell me, are you?"

"She isn't really supposed to have any help. But neither were you. And she'll need it, all right. I think she will come to you."

"To me?" Draco snorted. "Mother, where have you been for the past seventeen years? Lucia hates me, and the feeling is mutual."

"Don't speak of your sister like that. You don't _hate _her, Draco. Whether you two get along or not, you're still brother and sister. We're all in this together," Narcissa reminded him sternly. It was awkward to think she had partly caused the rivalry between her two children.

Draco drank from his glass to hide his response to these words. Hypocrite, he must think his mother to be. And no wonder: she had always done everything to feed his dislike for his sister, and now it was inconvenient she was trying to talk him out of it. What choice, however, did she have?

"Why would she come to me?" he finally asked.

"Because she will have no one else. She won't talk to me, and her task concerns things girls would rather not discuss with their fathers. And, it involves Potter."

"Potter?" Draco repeated in confusion. "You think Lucia will come to me to ask advice about an embarrassing topic that involves Potter? Have you had too much wine tonight, Mother?"

"I assure you, I am far from drunk," Narcissa assured him with a frown. "I won't be able to tell you anything else. You know Potter best, you were in his year at Hogwarts. All I ask is, if she comes to you, please help her. Set your pride aside, if you must."

Draco leaned back in his seat and studied her pensively. "Fine," he said eventually. "But I wouldn't count on Lucia doing that. She's proud like that."

With these words, he got up and put his glass down, leaning over to kiss Narcissa's cheek. A good night kiss; it was a rare thing now he was older.

"She won't be once she realises all of our lives may depend on this," Narcissa said. "Good night, darling."

"Good night, Mother."

When he had gone, Narcissa was left with a certain emptiness. She had hoped better for her children. When they were born, no matter how different the circumstances, she had hoped at least they would be able to grow up in peace. All had been so well when they were little. They had thought the Dark Lord gone forever and possibilities endless. How very different everything had turned out to be. What would become of new hopes for the future, if they dared hope at all?

* * *

**Author's Note:** Don't forget to review :) Thanks for all your wonderful and helpful (constructive) reviews so far! They are very inspiring :)


	17. Of Duties and Love

**Chapter Seventeen : Of Duties and Love**

As the Dark Lord requested, Lucia's mission was mainly carried out in secret. Narcissa heard nothing about it, and apparently neither did Lucius. Draco refused to offer much of a reply when asked. Someone else might consider this a sign Lucia was doing well and encountered no big trouble, but Narcissa was not so sure. She knew her daughter well and figured her proud act was mainly one of outward composure. On the inside, she feared Lucia was not as confidant. She was not very likely, however, to confide in her mother about this.

Lucius and Narcissa were taking a stroll in the local forest. Now that the Manor had been transformed into Death Eater Headquarters, there was little peace to be found. The regular presence of the Dark Lord was enough to cause anyone a breakdown. Narcissa now spent a lot of her days in her private rooms. Her old migraines had returned and even Severus' carefully brewed potions did not always help. And even if they did, it provided a plausible excuse for missing out on Death Eater meetings.

"Lucius, I've been thinking," she started off. It was almost surreal to walk outside and catch a ray of sunlight or two in between the tree tops. The Manor was so dark, both in exterior and atmosphere, that they often felt like vampires. "Isn't it time we sever some ties with other families?"

She had been thinking for a while now, that they ought to consider the future more. The Malfoys were lower in status than they had ever been, and Lucia's mission might make it worse yet. Forming a new alliance would do nothing but good, if chosen well.

"I've been thinking that, too," Lucius agreed, although cautiously.

"Lucia's of age now. You've always been very protective of her, but she will have to do her duty like all of us. I was long since betrothed to you when I came of age," she reminded him.

Age wise one would think Draco would be the first to marry. Usually girls were married off much sooner, though. Pureblood society was still highly traditional –or old-fashioned in the eyes of some- and it was a more natural thing for girls to marry quickly when they came of age. They were, after all, hardly ever involved directly with the Death Eaters. Although times were changing and girls sometimes had jobs too, Narcissa could still see the value of the ancient Wizardblood families arranging marriages for their children. It wasn't like it used to be, though. Much more contact was allowed between the betrothed couple before marriage, and they usually had some say in it.

"You're not considering Draco first?" Lucius inquired. "He'll be twenty soon, it wouldn't be so bad. There are worse choices than the Parkinson girl-"

"You can't obviously think the Parkinson girl is good enough for our son?" Narcissa interrupted him with a frown. In her opinion, no one was good enough for her son, and certainly not Pansy Parkinson. Sure, the Parkinsons carried steady Pureblood heritage. They had also never lacked loyalty to the Dark Lord. That was all there was to them, though. A steady stream of predictable loyalty. Never a particular high-flyer that stood out.

"Draco needs a few more years to become the man he can be," Narcissa decided. There were times she found herself hoping the war would be over soon, so they could return to the calm agreeableness of the interbellum years. Such years would give her son the chance to truly grow up in happy circumstances, so that he could choose his bride without fear of the Dark Lord's interference.

"He is rather a boy still," Lucius agreed. His agreement was no surprise; he had always complained his son to be too immature and soft. "Lucia has always been more mature."

Narcissa resisted the urge to roll her eyes at this. "I wouldn't be so sure of that. But she would be the most logical choice, yes. Haven't you noticed how Blaise Zabini took an interest in her at her birthday? The Zabini's might be an interesting choice."

"New money," Lucius commented with a frown.

"New money, yes, but is that so bad? A fresh start. There have been as much blood traitors in old families as in the new," Narcissa reminded him. "The Zabini's don't have a history long enough to find fault in it. They have never failed the Dark Lord, and Blaise seems a capable young man."

Lucius could do nought but agree to his wife's statements and inclined his head, unsmiling.

"I hope you understand my reasons for requesting this, Lucius," said Narcisa. "I acknowledge things have never gone smoothly between Lucia and me, but I want you to realise I make this request only with the family's best interests at heart. It appears we have reached an impasse in this war and I believe we should invest where we can to change that."

Narcissa would lie if she said she did not realise the sort of power she held over Lucius. His guilt was often so obvious; he would do anything to make these past mistakes up to her.

"I do understand," said Lucius. "And perhaps you are right when you say I've spoiled Lucia too much. It just always seemed so much easier to raise girls. Less... expectations. I see now I should reconsider that thought. Raising girls comes with very different difficulties."

Narcissa smiled slightly at her husband's epiphany. She thought she knew all about these difficulties, but in truth they had no clue what lay in store for them yet.

Whatever reluctance Lucius had left when arranging a marriage for Lucia was concerned, it quickly dissolved when yet another meeting passed by in which the Dark Lord expressed his disappointment in the Malfoy family. He had to agree with Narcissa that they had no choice but to make certain investments. Whether a bond with the Zabini's would truly do much good would have to be seen, but it least it provided some extra sense of security. It made Narcissa breathe somewhat easier, especially now that her bond with her sister had never been worse. Every day it became more and more obvious that Bella would always choose the Dark Lord over everyone.

"Why did you want to see me?" Lucia asked upon entering Lucius' office. The pair of them had summoned her there to tell her the news together.

"Your mother and I have been thinking we were glad to see you get along so well with young Mr Zabini at your birthday party," Lucius started.

"Blaise?" Lucia sank down into one of the chairs across the desk. "Is that why I had to come here? I thought you wanted to ask about my mission."

"Your mission? We are concerned, of course," Lucius nodded. "But you told me just Wednesday all went rather smooth."

"It is. There's nothing to worry about, father," she assured him. Was that a quiver in her voice?

"Your father and I also thought, now that you're of age and concern yourself with such adult things like working for the Dark Lord, it is time to take things to the next level."

"What next level? Father?" Lucia looked at her father for support, but Narcissa knew Lucius would put his foot down this time. There were higher concerns than a teenage girl's demands.

"Every young woman must marry at some point. We have been very lucky they were eager to accept our offer."

"_Offer_?" Lucia repeated as her face paled noticeably. "Father, you can't honestly mean this? You said yourself some time ago you would never put me up for sale to the highest bidder's offer."

"Don't you use such a tone on your father, Lucia," Narcissa warned her. "This is very different. They didn't offer. We did."

The three of them fell silent at that. Lucia's pale face had fallen yet more. What a disillusion this might be to her. Her father, who had always agreed to her every whims and granted her everything she wanted, did not jump up to defend her.

"Very well," the girl eventually said, her voice cold and distant as if she had already dissociated herself from them. Narcissa had noticed, lately, that this mission was changing her daughter. She was more withdrawn, and even Lucius claimed he did not really know what she was up to.

"I take it by '_they' _you mean the Zabini's? I am to marry Blaise?" Lucia inquired, her arms crossed defensively against her chest. Her tone ever as cold. She was a true Malfoy in every sense of the word.

"Yes, Lucia," Narcissa responded. "We thought Blaise would be the perfect choice for you."

What was most worrisome was Lucia's lack of resistance. They had expected her to rail against this arranged marriage and pull every trick to get out of it. The agreement, although paired with cold sneers, was unexpected. And alarming.

Whatever was behind Lucia's act, Narcissa was determined for the marriage to go on. The following weekend the young groom-to-be and his parents accepted an invitation for luncheon at Malfoy Manor. It would be one of the first times their two families were seen joined. A wonderful occasion for them –and especially the young couple- to get to know each other better.

"My dear Narcissa, I cannot believe the beauty of your garden!" exclaimed the talkative Mrs Zabini as they strolled through the yards of the Manor. It was a lovely spring after noon, so the elves had been instructed to prepare lunch outside.

Narcissa smiled joyously in return and allowed Mrs Zabini to embrace her as if they were old friends. Such familiar behaviour was not something she agreed on with people she barely knew, but today she wished everything to be perfect. They had enough despairs in the war, a union between Blaise and Lucia was something she wished to be perfect in every sense.

"And such a lovely couple they make, don't you think Narcissa? Lucius?" Blaise's mother beamed at the sight of her son and Lucia. The young pair lagged behind a little so they could speak more privately.

"They will grow into it," Lucius responded cordially.

Admittedly, Lucia and Blaise did not radiate with delight. Lucia furious her beloved father would do this to her, and Blaise? Narcissa could only frown at his lack of enthusiasm. What did the boy have to complain about? His ancestry was nowhere near as impressive as that of the Malfoys, he was lucky they had made the offer. They might not be as high up in the Dark Lord's ranks as they used to be, but the name Malfoy still commanded respect, whereas the name Zabini only rung a slight sense of familiarity in most.

"I think they look marvellously well together!" exclaimed Mrs Zabini. "I always knew my Blaise would hit the jackpot, so to speak," she let out a ring of high-pitched laughter. No one joined in, though. Mr Zabini, who barely got in a word while his wife was present, looked rather uncomfortable. Lucius and Narcissa merely exchanged a frown. The Zabini's reasons for accepting this match were painfully obvious. There had been rumours about their gambling debts. Perhaps they weren't as exaggerated as Narcissa had thought. Not that it changed anything. There were worse reasons, after all.

"Let's eat," Narcissa diplomatically suggested to break the awkward silence.

Their little group approached the beautifully set table in the midst of the most floral part of the garden. They were surrounded by bright coloured spring flowers and fresh green trees providing a pleasant shadow against the warmth.

"Of course your offer came as no true surprise," said Mrs Zabini, continuing the topic before they had gotten the chance to seat themselves.

Narcissa noticed Lucia sat as far across from Lucius as she could; he must have broken their seemingly unbreakable father-daughter bond by pushing this through.

"Blaise is a fine young man, Serena" Lucius said pleasantly. He had seated himself next to his wife and for once, it felt like they were a union. "The Dark Lord too speaks highly of him."

"Of course!" said Mrs Zabini. "Not that we ever expected less of him. I said it when he was a child: everything that boy touches turns to gold! And kind-hearted too. He didn't hesitate the chance to save your family. Isn't that right, Blaise?"

Blaise look rather uncomfortable. "I'm not sure save is the right-"

"Oh nonsense," continued his mother. "That's my Blaise, ever the peace-maker. Everyone knows the Malfoys aren't quite up to their old standards in this second war".

"We have had some disadvantages," Narcissa replied. "But at least the Malfoys remain of _noticeable _status."

"And we have reasons to believe we might regain our old, favourite place in the Dark Lord's ranks again," Lucius joined in.

Narcissa noticed the edge to her husband's voice and she rested her hand on top of his for encouragement. She was less sure about his words. It sounded as if he was confidant Lucia would succeed the mission. The mission no one but their own family knew about. He thought it might be their salvation, whereas Narcissa thought it might cause their final downfall. They would have to wait and see which of them was right.


	18. Descend to Darkness

**Chapter Eighteen: Descend to Darkness**

_The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places. But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater._

_-J.R.R. Tolkien: The Fellowship of the Ring_

While wedding preparations were in full bloom, the young bride evidently had more on her mind. Lucia's mission kept her busy, for Narcissa often found her chamber deserted still well past midnight. It was unnatural Lucia did such indecent things at the Dark Lord's request, and with the enemy no less. All Narcissa could do was stand by and watch while Lucia threw away her reputation. They could only hope Blaise would not notice his bride was not as pure as her blood on their wedding night. At least, she supposed Lucia would not be. Whether she truly gave Harry Potter her body all these nights was no more than a rough guess, for the girl shared very little.

Death Eater meetings were weekly now, and nearly always took place at Malfoy Manor. The Dark Lord commanded the house as if it was his own, and considered Lucius and Narcissa not even worthy enough to say anything against his invasion. Neither of them dared to, and they were wise enough not to, but the fact they had lost their private home as a safety haven was unnerving to say the least.

Both Narcissa and Lucius lagged behind in the drawing room with Severus after the meeting while the room cleared out. Lucia and Draco had been among the first to depart, eager to leave the Dark Lord and all related to him behind as soon as they could.

"The Dark Lord is losing his patience," said Severus when the three of them found themselves alone. The room now carried only hints of evidence it had been full of Death Eaters just now. The table was full of empty glasses and bottles of Firewhiskey, and the atmosphere was cold, still. The cold never seemed to leave anymore.

"It has been weeks now and she has little to report. Nothing besides the obvious."

They were, of course, speaking of Lucia and her mission. Lucia kept claiming she was making progress, but needed more time to get truly interesting information. It took time to win the trust of the 'Chosen One'. While this might be a plausible excuse at first, time was no longer an endless resource.

"She just needs a little more time," Lucius assured them.

"She keeps saying that," Narcissa shook her head and clutched the mug of tea an elf had delivered just now. "That's all she says: I need more time. We don't have more time. The Dark Lords wants results rather today than tomorrow."

"She says she's making progress." Lucius was not willing to say a single bad word about his daughter. It was admirable, but dangerous. They required realism over loyalty if they wanted to stay alive.

"I suppose she is," Narcissa mused. "She's out many nights."

"But is she with Potter?" said Severus. "And even if she is; is she doing what the Dark Lord wants? She must know more than she's letting us think if they spend so much time together. Lucia shows remarkable devotion during our Occlumency lessons."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing more than what you hear, Lucius," Severus leaned back, appearing relaxed on the leather sofa by the fireplace. He twisted a glass of Firewhiskey idly between his hands. "And, that the best Occlumens often have the most to hide."

"Lucia is betrothed to Blaise," Narcissa reminded them. "She will be loyal to him."

"Yes," Severus mused, sipping the amber liquor lazily. "Is that what you know? Or what you think?"

Narcissa had thought more than once that perhaps it was Severus who knew more than the rest of them. As a spy, he must be suspected on both sides regularly. He had always been a loyal friend, though, and took his job as the children's godfather serious.

With the many concerns they had one might think wedding preparations were furthest from their minds, but Narcissa took this job very seriously. She had always distracted herself by hosting society events, so this was no exception. Leaving the more dangerous war tasks up to Lucius, Narcissa instead designed invitations, and ordered Lucia's bridal gown made by the same French goblins that had designed her own over twenty years ago. Today was the very first fitting. Blaise's mother had joined them for this joyous occasion. Narcissa would rather Serena Zabini stay as far away as possible, but she supposed she would have to learn to accept the woman's overbearing company now that their children were officially betrothed.

Narcissa was lacing up the back of Lucia's gown while they stood facing a full-length mirror.

"You must have lost weight again," she commented, finding the dress rather loose about Lucia's already slim frame. Both Lucia and Narcissa had the same built, and the same unhealthy habits in times of stress. It was no surprise Lucia had stress. A wedding was stressful for any young woman, let alone when it was paired with a dangerous mission. Narcissa wished she could help her daughter more, or get through to her, but their bond had never been ready for such confidentialities. She had to rely on Draco helping his sister instead, for Lucius had ruined every possibility of a good relationship with his daughter the moment he agreed to marrying her off to the Zabini's.

"I'm sure I didn't. They must have misread my measurements," Lucia commented, eyeing herself in the mirror with a rather critical expression. She turned to the side and watched her silhouette.

"That's impossible," said Narcissa. "I checked at least thrice whether they had the right measurements. Goblins are very precise."

"No one is as much of a control freak as you, Mother," said Lucia.

"Please, don't argue over something so silly," Mrs Zabini interfered. "We have weeks to adapt the dress. Or for Lucia to eat a little more pumpkin pasties," she beamed at her future daughter-in-law.

Lucia, in return, merely sported a blank expression. She had become good at that; it was no wonder Severus said she was good at Occlumency. The question was: what did she have to hide?

"Lucia will decide for herself how many pumpkin pasties she eats," Narcissa snapped. The other woman got on her nerves, and she was already stressed. These goblins did not take criticism well. "She looks fine. The dress can be adapted in time."

Lucia looked surprised to be getting any sort of back-up from her mother, but she was wise enough not to contradict her.

"Perhaps if she does her hair up," Mrs Zabini suggested. "Blaise will like that." She came up to the pair of them and started making adjustments to Lucia's hair, putting it up with a few simple flicks of her wand. "She looks more mature like this, don't you think so Narcissa?"

It seemed for once mother and daughter agreed on something, for both Narcissa and Lucia looked rather sour.

"Lucia is mature enough, Serena."

"Of course, of course," Mrs Zabini replied. "I wasn't assuming anything. But she has _such_ lovely hair. It wouldn't hurt to experiment a little on bridal coiffure, so to say," she beamed, seeming oblivious to the dissatisfied expressions on the others' faces.

"Of course," Narcissa finally agreed, regaining her composure. "And your help is much appreciated. Would you mind checking if the tiara has been delivered yet?"

Glad to be given a sense of importance, Serena disappeared into the hallway to consult the elves over this matter. It gave Narcissa the opportunity for a moment alone with her daughter.

"You have to put up a happier face, it's her son you're marrying!" she reminded Lucia quickly. "Your expression is more suitable for a funeral."

"Thank you very much," Lucia snapped in response. "Perhaps that is how I feel. But of course, my feelings are irrelevant."

"Cease that immaturity, please," Narcissa sighed and sank down on the sofa. She rubbed her aching temples as she closed her eyes, attempting to shut out this day. "This is bad enough as it is. Perhaps you still don't realize how much is at stake."

"I am not an idiot, Mother," said Lucia.

Narcissa glanced over her shoulder to make sure they were still alone, before she addressed her daughter again.

"I also wish things could be different. I wish we would have the time for you to get a proper, long engagement to get to know one another. But you will have to learn you cannot always get what you want. You don't want to marry Blaise. Is that it?" She eyed her daughter curiously. She looked so mature in her wedding dress; a sea of white silk floating about her. It was an optic illusion, though. Lucia was nowhere near mature. She was playing dress up, pretending to be an adult ready for this marriage. Wasn't that what happened at every generation, though? She herself had gone through that. As a naive bride of seventeen she had thought she knew all life had in store for her. She thought she knew about life and love, while on hindsight she had known nothing. Perhaps it would have been different if she had, but it was too late to change anything now. It might not be too late for Lucia.

"No, Mother, it's just that... I wish that were all," Lucia stammered. For a moment there seemed a false sense of confidentiality between the two of them. It was so unfamiliar to both, that it passed as quick as it had come. Lucia turned on her heel and ran up the stairs, disappearing to the safety of her own chambers.

"Where is she?" Serena inquired five minutes later, returning with the requested tiara. "We haven't finished yet! She has to try this on and then the jewelry and I had another hairstyle-"

"She has gone upstairs," Narcissa merely replied, using charms to clear the room from its many traces of wedding preparations; samples of fabric, Witch Weekly 'Bridal Edition', and many sorts of jewels and bejewelled hairpins.

"Upstairs?!" Serena exclaimed. "While there is so much fitting to be done?! And plans to be made?! You are much too soft on that girl."

Good heavens. Narcissa's already persistent head ache reached the point she feared her head might explode.

"I assure you, I am anything but 'soft' on her, and even if I am; at this point Lucia still lives under this roof and therefore remains under my supervision." There was a distinct edge to her voice now that she not often showed. It surprised herself. It surprised Serena as well, for needless to say her visit was not much further extended.

Narcissa was still in the midst of examining an assortment of bridal accessories when Draco entered the drawing room.

"Shouldn't that be a job for the happy bride herself to do?" he inquired, sporting a bemused grin.  
"She doesn't seem in much of a hurry," Narcissa sighed, barely taking the time to glance up at him. "Are you staying for tea?" she asked him then, putting some boxes aside. One of the elves had just delivered a silver tray of tea, and she got up to pour them both a cup when Draco nodded.

Draco pulled a face at some of the boxes of jewellery; it was obvious he wished to stay away from a wedding as far as possible. "No wonder she's not in a hurry if she's to wear this."

"Darling, these are family heirlooms. This necklace was worn by your great-great grandmother Cassiopeia Black." Narcissa ran her finger over the thick golden jewel, richly decorated with emeralds. Cassiopeia had clearly not sported the 'less is more' moral.

"On her funeral?" Draco couldn't help but ask, grinning.

"On her _wedding day_," Narcissa corrected him. She couldn't help answer to his humour, though. Merlin knew they could use some of that.

"Much the same thing these days, or so it seems."

"You know, your sister made that reference today as well. I noticed the two of you spending more time together. Are you helping her, finally?"

Draco shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose. Wasn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes. I'm worried about her," Narcissa admitted. "She's not herself lately. I don't think it's just the marriage. I was hoping you could tell me more about what's going on. She sure won't talk to me. Is the mission going badly?"

"It's probably best if you don't know too much," Draco said stiffly.

This was not at all what she was hoping to hear. She had hoped for him to say everything was going perfectly. But of course, deep down she had known everything was far from perfect.

"There are troubles, then," she concluded.

"I guess it depends on one's perspective."

A mysterious reply: what gain would they get from that? Her face clearly betrayed her feelings, for Draco changed his tone to a more serious one at that.

"I just don't want you to worry, Mother. You have enough on your mind. I can solve this."

He looked so proud, trying to be a man. But he was a man; he had seen more a boy of nineteen should have, and he handled it well. She was as proud of him as ever, but then she would always be. Her love was not conditional.

She leaned forward and took his hand between her own. "This war, it is not forever," she assured him. "I want you to know that."

"But what comes after?"

She squeezed his hands between her own, pleased he did not retreat. "I would tell you if I knew."

Whichever side won, it would not be good. She was losing hope the Dark Lord would ever appreciate the Malfoys again. And even if that changed, a world with the Dark Lord as king was a dark place. To the other side, they would always be considered the enemy. There was no winning for them.

"Do you ever think about leaving, Mother?"

There was something in his words that alarmed her. Her eyes shot up to meet his with renewed vigour. Even now that he was no longer truly a child, she was ever alert for any danger concerning him.

"Don't speak of such things," she whispered. "It is treason. And even if I did, where could we possibly go? All these blood traitors gone into hiding, the Dark Lord finds them eventually. It is only ever a matter of time."

"Right. Of course. I was only wondering…"

"Don't wonder," she plead. "Be safe, Draco. I just want you to be safe."

There was no safety in risks. They had taken enough risks, and nothing ever ended well. If they could just continue as they were now; not drawing attention to themselves, forming alliances with the right families, then they might just be safe until somehow this war would end. Which side would win, she hardly cared. She had long since stopped caring for politics. She only cared for her family, after all.

Bellatrix was a very different case. This was yet another thing the two sisters differed at. Bella would give her life, her everything, for the Dark Lord to win. She strode into the drawing room carrying an air of haughtiness while her skirts billowed around her. Even though she was no longer malnourished and gaunt, Azkaban had clearly left its mark on Bellatrix. The beauty of her younger years was long gone. The lines in her face betrayed the suffering she had known. Worse yet than the scars on her body, were the scars on her soul. Bella's soul –if she had any part of it left- was damaged beyond repair. She knew no boundaries and no conscience. In some ways, Narcissa was more frightened of her than of the Dark Lord himself. Outward they kept up the bond of sisterhood, but deep down Narcissa was well aware it no longer meant anything. Bella would sacrifice her niece and nephew to the Dark Lord without hesitation. And what was worse: she would take pride in doing that, if it was what the Dark Lord desired.

"Where is she?" she demanded fiercely.

"Who?" Narcissa looked up, startled by the unexpected invasion.

"Your daughter!" Bella exclaimed impatiently. "The Dark Lord cannot wait any longer. He demands to see her. He will not be put off any longer."

Narcissa's stomach clenched unpleasantly. "She must be up in her room," she responded slowly, her mind working frantically.

"Fetch her."

"Very well."

The climb up the stairs was slow; it was as if Narcissa's legs would not carry her. She had a very bad feeling about this. Lucia had so far been unable to provide the Dark Lord with the information he required. That meant either she did not have the information, or she did not wish to tell. And it was hard to think which was worse.

"Lucia?" she knocked on the door of her daughter's private chambers. When no reply came, she proceeded to open the door of her own accord. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

Feverishly she started searching through the room. It looked the same as always; the pink bedchamber of a girl on the verge of adulthood. Mature high heels and dresses, mixed with teddy bears and bright colours a child would prefer. A vanity table with make-up and perfumes on it.

Her hands trembled when she pulled open the doors of the wardrobe. Was it emptier than before? It was hard to tell; Lucia owned an immense collection of clothes and shoes. A few pieces missing could easily go unnoticed.

Narcissa's eyes hurriedly scanned the rest of the room for evidence. She had to be sure. What would a seventeen year old girl take with her? The riches of this house, it all meant nothing when it came down to it.

A new idea formed in her blurred mind: Draco. Draco would know more of this. She nearly tripped over her own feet in her hurry to reach her son's room.

Even before she entered her gut feeling told her she would find no answers here, but only more questions. Draco's room looked emptier. His was not so crowded as that of a teenage girl spoiled with materialism.

She could just reach the desk before her legs gave way. Her body, turned cold in fear, sank down on the chair by it. It was then that she spotted it: a hurriedly scribbled piece of parchment in the middle of the otherwise clear desk. Her trembling fingers snatched it, and she read the few words it contained:

_Mother,_

_Please forgive us. _

_Draco_

The world was spinning, and she had not even realised her sister had followed her and watched her from the doorframe.

"Cissy?"

Was that a tremble in her voice? When Narcissa looked up, she imagined for a moment she saw a hint of fear cross over her sister's features before the mask of cold fierceness returned.  
"They have gone," she whispered. "The children. They've both gone."

* * *

**A/N**: R&amp;R, as always ;)


	19. The Dark Lord's Wrath

**Chapter Nineteen: The Dark Lord's Wrath**

_He's splitting me open, I thought. He'll break me and then I'll die.  
__-__Wally Lamb: She's Come Undone_

Together they faced the tightly shut door of the drawing room. Hand in hand they stood, united against the horror they would soon face. They were surrounded by others, but they barely noticed. It had taken them over twenty years of marriage to finally form a union. Narcissa cherished it greatly in these few moments they had left. Suddenly she broke through the frozen silence and embraced her husband. Her trembling frame filled his arms and provided a sense of completion.

"Lucius," she breathed against his cheek, her lips brushing over it in the faintest of kisses. "Don't blame them for this. Never blame them."

Lucius was beyond speech. He inclined his head shortly, which would have to pass for a nod. His eyes were full of terror. This is the end, they both thought. They had known it was coming for a while. Very few people overcame the Dark Lord's wrath. They were never meant to survive. These missions, first for Draco and then for Lucia, were only ever a trap leading to the inevitable.

Strangely, Narcissa felt it did not bother her. Her main concern was the children's safety. She would never blame them for this. She could only wish she had taken Draco's words more seriously when he questioned her about leaving. She had thought he was just hypothetically speaking. If she had known he was seriously considering it, she could have done something to change his mind. Part of her thought this might be for the best, though. If she and Lucius were gone, the children would no longer have any ties binding them to this side. They would be free to start up their life on the other side, hopefully with full protection.

There were so many questions regarding the choice they had made. If only she could have known more about their reasons. Supposedly it had something to do with Lucia's mission. Narcissa wondered if, perhaps, she had fallen in love. She had been different and withdrawn, barely showing any results to the Dark Lord. Narcissa had thought Lucia's change in behavior was a sign of the stress from the mission and the nearing wedding, but it might as well have been the strain of a forbidden love. As unlikely as it seemed one could love an enemy; stranger things had happened. Lucia's behavior reminded her of that of Andromeda many years ago, before she had eloped. She too had altered much, giving people the impression she had simply been unhappy about her nearing arranged marriage. Perhaps Narcissa should have been able to recognize the signs by now. It was so easy, though, to look the other way and pretend not to know. She had never been very brave. But she felt brave now, now that she could shake off all her fears. She had none left. All her fears were her children, and they had gone. They had lost them. It was an unexpected relief to find death nearing. These past few years had been a nightmare, and whatever came after life could never be worse than this dark place that called itself earth, still.

The doors opened, finally, and Bella approached the pair of them. She was breathing hard, and she appeared to have aged overnight. She grabbed Narcissa's hands –partly to steady herself. Her suffering was evident, and yet it made no sense. She remained, as always, the Dark Lord's favourite. If he punished Bella for the betrayal of her niece and nephew, Lucius and Narcissa were certainly awaiting a death sentence in there.

"This.. this was all I could do," Bella panted, struggling to remain standing.

Narcissa's eyes widened as understanding dawned upon her. Her sister had offered herself to subject to the first wave of the Dark Lord's rage.

"He wants to see you both now."

For a moment Narcissa was distracted by watching her sister limp towards the staircase, but a gentle tug on her hand brought her back to reality.

They both entered the room until they stood before the Dark Lord. He was seated on his throne-like chair, the snake Nagini curled around the back. Even if she had guessed right and he had already taken some of his rage out on Bellatrix, the fury was still omnipresent. Slowly the room filled up with other Death Eaters, forming a circle around them. Lucius dropped to his knees, his head bent with fear. He begged for forgiveness.

Narcissa followed his example, but she did not lower her gaze, and she did not speak. She was not afraid like Lucius. What was the point bending when she was already broken?

Seconds passed and she was surprised they were still alive. A quick Avada Kedavra would be the best. It would be over in the blink of an eye. It was wishful thinking, though. Lucius had been in his service for so many years, it would not be realistic to think the Dark Lord would grant them a quick, painless death. Inwardly, she prepared herself for the worst.

"Lucius," the Dark Lord drawled, his voice dripping with malice. "My faithful servant for so long. How could this have occurred? Was it too much asked to raise your children accordingly?"

"No… no, my Lord." Lucius' voice was barely audible. "We had no way of knowing… "

"But of course. How could you have known they would become the worst sort of blood traitors?" he hissed. "Alecto, " he spoke then, turning the attention to the woman to his right. Normally such a place was only reserved for Bella. "Remind us what we think of blood traitors."

"They are the very worst, my Lord," Alecto was eager to respond. "Perhaps worse yet, than mudbloods. Mudbloods are scum, from the day they're born. But blood traitors willingly choose to defy their heritage. The most sacred gift of Pure blood. The worst of them, they tarnish the world by mixing it with filth."

Narcissa repressed the urge to roll her eyes at the woman's pathetic act. She thought she could take Bella's place, apparently. That would take more than a speech on Pureblood supremacy. Bella's strength was certainly not replaceable by such a meek lamb without a thought of her own.

"Hear, hear," the Dark Lord spoke slowly. "The very worst sin. Wasting our wonderful, Pure blood by mixing it with mudbloods and related scum. Did you know, Lucius?" he turned his terrible, red-eyed, slit-like gaze back to the Malfoys in front of him. "Did you know your daughter has committed such a sin?"

"My Lord?" Lucius looked up now, the confusion evident on his face.

"Yes, you see, when I required Lucia to become Potter's whore, I did not intend for her to make you a grandfather!"

Laughter rang from the circle that formed their supposed 'friends'. As they laughed, Narcissa could feel hatred grow against every one of them. They used to be good enough for them, when they hosted society parties they were all eager enough to attend. Narcissa had always been the centre of society. They had all wanted to befriend Lucius and herself when they belonged to the Dark Lord's inner circle. How easily their position changed. Suddenly they were the laughing stock of society, instead of the most respected. It affected her surprisingly little. If the Dark Lord's words were true, she had bigger concerns on her mind. By Lucius' nonplussed expression, she figured he had had no clue about this either.

"Silence!" the Dark Lord exclaimed, and the circle of Death Eaters fell silent at once.

"Yes, it is true. Lucia carries the child of my one great enemy," he finally continued. "What say you of this news, Lucius, Narcissa? Will you welcome Potter as your son? Should I _congratulate _you?"

More laughter, shorter this time. Everyone was holding their breaths to see what would happen.  
Narcissa hesitated, for a moment, thinking of what to say. She hated these games that were played. As if anything they said would matter. As if they could change their faiths now, still. She refused to be used for an entertainment show. She would hold her head up high, for as long as she could.

Lucius thought differently. He had never appeared more frightened. He wasn't ready to let go of this life; he could see, perhaps, hope somewhere.

"Master," he breathed, the shock obvious through the tremor in his voice. "We did not know... I am no grandfather," he assured him, more defiantly. "For I have no daughter."

Narcissa's closed her eyes for the moment. She could only hope his words were spoken in an extreme act of fear, and as a way to show the Dark Lord they were on his side still. Only they weren't. Well, _she _wasn't. She was less sure of Lucius. He kept shutting himself away from everyone and everything, so she had no way of knowing what went on inside his head.

"Did you think you would get off the hook so easily, Lucius? A few words of apology and a statement, and we'd all be best friends? And what does your wife think of this?"

Narcissa could not help but shiver as she was addressed. This hardly ever happened. She had always just been 'the wife of Lucius'. A quiet supporter without much input of her own.

"My husband is right when he says we had no knowledge of this, my Lord," she said quietly. She did wonder, though, how he could have known. Severus had stopped being a spy the moment he killed Dumbledore, so no inside information on the Order could be expected from him anymore. Who then?

"And yet I entrust parents with the task of preparing their children to be worthy soldiers of my army. How can we remain the superior race, when the young run off and betray us at the first chance they get? Do you not agree you have failed me, Lucius? How many times is that now?"

The Death Eaters laughed again. "Too often!" cried one of them. They were brave now, now that they were in his grace. They wouldn't be laughing so loudly when they were in this position. And that day would come. They nearly all experienced the Dark Lord's anger sooner or later. Even Bellatrix, as tonight had shown.

"Too often," the Dark Lord repeated. "Do you hear that Lucius? I am not the only one who thinks so. Now tell me, how do we deal with failure?"

Narcissa's eyes were locked on the wall in front of her. She tried to dissociate herself mentally from the scene. She knew what was coming, and it sickened her. She did not hear Lucius's reply, or the response of the others, but she could not close her mind to the single spell uttered.

"_Crucio!"_

This was the worst. The very worst. Hearing him suffer, without being able to interfere. Her dear Lucius. He was hers, still, after all these years. They had lived through so much together, and tonight they would suffer together, and most likely die together. If only she could comfort him now. It had become like that. Lately everything had changed. She used to lean on Lucius, but things had reversed. He needed her as much as she had ever needed him.

She had never been under the Cruciatus Curse before. When it was her turn, and it hit her, it took her breath away. The pain was different from what she had ever felt before. It consumed her, head to toe. Every nerve ending was on fire. Every part of her was; every bone, hair and ligament burned and convulsed. She heard a scream, and barely realised it was drawn from her own lips. All track of time was lost. There was no room for thoughts at all. There was only suffering.

When it stopped, when it finally stopped, she laid on the floor in a heap of misery. Lucius, beside her, was not much better. Somehow she found the strength to pull herself up into a sitting position. The Cruciatus Curse blurred everything inside her mind, but part of her knew this was important. She had to force herself to concentrate on the Dark Lord's words that followed.

"How lucky you both are," he spoke, his words drawn out and his voice dropped to a whisper that sounded like the hissing of a snake. "Every time the end seems near for the Malfoy family something happens that changes their faith."

Lucius barely stirred. To him, this was defeat. Whether they lived or died tonight did not matter for him. He had lived his life aiming to please, to be successful. There was no higher humiliation to him than this. The very public announcement of his failure.

"It just so happens that my dear Bellatrix was able to convince me recent turn of events might not be as bad as they seem. A child of Potter's could, after all, be very valuable to get our hands on... Perhaps, just what we need to _finally _capture Potter." He extended his arm and the snake curled around it, hissing dangerously towards the Malfoys on the floor.

"Yes," the Dark Lord continued. "Our new aim is to get Potter's unborn child into our hands. And I dare say Potter will come flying into our arms like a bee to a jar of honey!"

More laughter. Narcissa had a tough job trying to shut it all out. She focused on the spot on the wall again, breathing slowly. Now was not the time to collapse. Now wasn't the time for anything. When she glanced around the circle, she was pleased to find one of them was not laughing. Severus Snape was as intently trying to shut things out as she was. He did not make eye contact, but she felt a little less lonely.

Narcissa heard little of the rest of the meeting. Not only were the children labelled as blood traitors; now Lucia and her unborn child –the existence of which was a shock in itself- were to be hunted and used as nothing more than bait.

When it was over and they exited the drawing room, she was surprised by an entirely new sort of experience. Everything seemed so much brighter. Colours more pronounced, sounds coming from all directions. There was a delicious smell coming from the kitchens where the house elves were cooking. Narcissa had not expected to walk through these doors again and live. Her whole body ached from the aftermaths of the Cruciatus Curse, but she lived. She had been prepared to die tonight. She had expected it. Perhaps even embraced it. But life was not finished for her yet. She was needed, for a purpose yet unknown to her. The children might still need her, however impossible at present. Suddenly she could feel herself full of this new, unfamiliar strength. Could this be the bravery she had never known before? She glanced at Lucius beside her and expected to see the same epiphany in his eyes. Her expectations, however, were met with disappointment. The only thing she read in his eyes was the same fear she had seen while they were tortured. She had entered this room with him tonight thinking they were finally a union. Now, she was not so sure.

* * *

**A/N:** The plot thickens some more ;) R&amp; R :)


	20. Epiphany

**Chapter Twenty: Epiphany**

_'__The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes, but with the heart.'  
-Antoine de Saint Exupéry: Le Petit Prince_

Severus and Narcissa had to support Lucius while they climbed the stairs. His defeat combined with the Cruciatus Curse had left him weak and broken. They brought him to his chambers, where Severus immediately went to rummage through the bathroom cabinets to find a potion to aid them. Narcissa allowed herself to sink down onto the sofa beside her husband. She could do with a rest, herself. Her body was still aching all over. Worse yet were the tricks she had played on her own mind. She had been convinced they would both die, and then it had all changed. The emotions had exhausted her. Her mind was ever with the children. Was this a choice they made, she wondered, because they were happy on the other side? Were they content there? And loved? If her suspicions were true then Lucia was in love with Potter. And now she was carrying his child. This brought up yet more questions. Was the child wanted, or did Lucia feel as despaired as her mother had felt when expecting her? And would Potter even stick by her? Narcissa's head was swimming in thoughts and questions, and next to her was Lucius needing her attention and care to hold himself together. She had never seen him reduced to such a state before. She took his face between her hands and caressed it gently.

"How are you holding up?" she whispered quietly, desperate to get through to him. "It's over, Lucius. We're alive still, it's all over."

He barely responded, lost in his own world.

Severus returned, then, with two cups of a steaming, golden-coloured substance. "Drink this," he said, pushing one up the cups into Lucius's hands. "It'll make you feel better."

He was right as always. The drink warmed her up inside out, and her body felt suddenly more relaxed. Her cares were still as pronounced as they used to be, though.

"Do you need help with him?"

It took her a moment to realise Severus meant Lucius. "No," she shook her head. She could take care of her own husband. She was all he needed.

"Severus. Did you know about Lucia? Did you betray her to the Dark Lord?"

"Narcissa," he frowned and sat down across from them. "Twenty years of friendship, and still you do not trust me?"

"I will not pretend to know you."

"Very wise," he grimaced. "But to answer your questions: no, I did not betray Lucia to the Dark Lord. But yes, I knew about the pregnancy," he admitted. "And it was rather fortunate I did. I knew the Dark Lord's impatience was reaching a final point, so I could warn them at the right moment to leave."

"You should have told me. We could have done something about it."

"Such as?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "Lucia's mind was set on this. She claims to 'love' Potter, however foolish that may be. What do you think would have happened if the Dark Lord found out about her treason while she was still within his reach? I assure you, we could have stood at her grave today instead."

She shuddered at such harsh words. "Please," she whimpered. "Don't speak of that."

"But I must, Narcissa! Such is the reality we face. You regret them leaving, but it may have saved their lives, at least for now."

She swallowed. Lucius still did not respond, and she noticed he had fallen asleep, his head leaning on her shoulder.

"Are they safe there, then? With the Resistance?"

"As safe as can be," Severus nodded. "Their security is excellent. Which is obvious, or the Dark Lord would not have needed to waste years trying to capture Potter."

"Right," Narcissa said, still not convinced. "Then if it wasn't you, how did the Dark Lord find out about the pregnancy?"

"That I cannot say," he shook his head. "There are a number of spies still, some more reliable than others. A decent number of Ministry officials acting under the Imperius Curse; some of them in contact with the Weasleys, the Lupins. Frankly: it could have been anyone. And it changes little." He stood up rather abruptly. "I should leave you both to rest. You need it."

Narcissa nodded and stood up to show him out. "I wish there was something we could do to help him," she said, watching as Severus frowned at the sight of Lucius's despaired state.

"This is hard on him," Severus replied. "Lucius has always put too much value on the opinions of others."

"I know. He's always saying Draco needs to toughen up, but he's out on the first blow himself," she sighed and opened the door. "Good night, then."

"Good night Narcissa. Take care of yourself."

She watched him walk away, his black cloak and hair blending in with the darkness perfectly. So many years of friendship, and still she knew so little of Severus Snape.

Closing the door after he left, she returned to help Lucius to the bed. He was just stirring, and leaned heavily on her.

"It's late, we should get some sleep," she spoke quietly. She sank down to untie his shoelaces and take off his boots.

"Cissa.." he reached out to take her hand, and their eyes met. "I am so sorry... I should have taken care of you. None of this should have happened."

She crawled onto the bed beside him. This was unfamiliar territory. She never came to his bedroom anymore. "None of this is your fault, Lucius."

"I should have protected you. You and the children," he continued, unable to hear her words of comfort. "It was my job, and I failed. The Dark Lord was right about me."

"Lucius, no," she said more firmly, squeezing his hands to underline her words. Her lips pressed themselves to his; an uncomfortable kiss. He frightened her when he was like this; so lost and defeated. "This is nobody's fault. Severus thinks the children are safe for now. Lucia loves-"

"Don't speak of that!" he breathed, sitting bolt upright. The unwanted reality drew him back to the present. "I have failed as a father. You were always right. I have spoiled Lucia beyond measure. That is how this happened; she doesn't love him. It's impossible. She has acted on some sort of whim, and now she's in too deep," he shook his head in disbelief. "And Draco was always too weak. She must have convinced him easily."

The way Lucius spoke of their children now left Narcissa with a bitter taste. "You're upset," she said, pushing him to lay down on the mattress. "You need sleep."

He refused to let go of her hand, although he complied by giving in to his exhaustion. He reminded her of Draco like this. It softened her, a little. "We were lucky tonight," she whispered. "Because of Bella, I think."

"We won't be lucky next time," he shook his head. His eyes were now closed, his face still tense and frowning. "Cissa, you deserve a better husband."

"You're my husband," she leaned down to kiss his cheek, her fingers stroking his hair slowly. "That never changes. You need to stay strong. The children will need us. We will help them where we can."

"They're beyond help. We've lost them."

Narcissa's features darkened in a frown. How could Lucius be so deluded? Had tonight not proven they hadn't lost them at all? If there was ever going to be a time the children would need them, it was now.

She was so desperate to see them. If she didn't have more sense she would have made arrangements to go over to the Resistance today rather than tomorrow. It would be suicide, though. She didn't know anyone there. Provided that she would be able to find out about their hiding place, there was still a good chance they'd kill her before she had a chance to even speak of her motives. It would be best if she stayed here, and be ready to help when it was most required. Whenever and however she did not know, but the urge presented itself most strongly. She had expected that she and Lucius would be a union when the children were concerned. As different their approach towards Draco and Lucia had been, they had always been joint when it came to concerns over their safety. Now she felt more lonely than before, feeling her eyes had finally opened while Lucius remained as blind as ever.

Upon Lucius's words she had left him to it, and withdrew to her own chambers to think things over. She barely slept that night, and the nights that followed. The continuous presence of the Dark Lord and the other Death Eaters practising the dark arts and torture in what once was their safe home, put something in the air that was unnerving to all its inhabitants. It was dark and depressing, but still Narcissa surprised herself. She remembered clearly her depression in the days she was pregnant with Lucia. Considering recent events, she had braced herself to sink back into such a state. And yet she did not. If anything, she was full of determination.

She kept to her rooms mostly. She preferred to avoid contact with the other Death Eaters for obvious reasons. They thought her delicate still, unable to handle the pressure, and she gladly left them to believe in that. Severus visited her regularly, bringing her news and her usual supply of Sleeping Draughts. Lucius came by sometimes, too, but she did not dare discuss her thoughts with him. He was desperate to bring himself back up in the Dark Lord's grace. She wondered whom he was trying to fool. Himself, or her. Their only hope with the Dark Lord would be for them to capture Lucia and her unborn child, which was even worse than being a disgrace.

She had not seen Bella since the night they were tortured. When Narcissa finally came across her in the hallway that week, she looked different. Tired and thin. The seemingly endless war was weighing down even on the most devoted Death Eaters. The longer it took to get their hands on Potter, the more demanding the work.

"Bella! Are you all right?" Narcissa followed her into the dining hall. No one else was present. Everyone was too busy for a multi-course meal.

"Yes, I've been hoping to find you here. We were kept rather busy this week."

She didn't need to elaborate on details. The Dark Lord had put the majority of his followers on the case of finding Lucia.

"What you did for me," Narcissa said then. "I've been meaning to thank you for it. I never wanted you to suffer for us like that."

Bella shook her head, her gaunt face surrounded by black curls falling from its updo. "Only for you. Lucius deserved everything he got, and more. The Dark Lord was quite merciful on you, I've heard."

The pair of them sat next to each other at the dinner table. A first course was served by an elf, but neither of the sisters were very interested in what it contained. Narcissa's appetite was lost lately, although she forced herself to eat. She could not fall back into her old unhealthy habits. She was going to need her strengths.

"I take it, he was not so merciful on you?" Narcissa asked quietly.

Bella grimaced. "No."

Narcissa almost visibly winced at the guilt flowing through her. The Dark Lord must have known, that allowing her sister to suffer for her was worse than any Cruciatus Curse cast upon herself.

"He thought it an insult I would defend you. There is no higher treason that blood treachery, Cissy. This was the only time I could get away with this. Make no further mistakes. Your children are a lost cause."

It was almost funny how much Bella and Lucius agreed on this without realising.

"Bella..."

"Don't," Bella said fiercely. "Promise me to be safe. Don't do anything silly, Cissy."

Narcissa took a moment to delay her response by sipping the white wine. How could she explain what she felt? The greatest loyalty of family to Bella had always been their sisterhood. She would never understand that motherhood went far beyond that yet. And she would understand it even less if it meant going against the ways of her beloved Dark Lord.

"Of course I won't," Narcissa forced a smile. A lie that slipped so easily from her lips. It hurt knowing she and Bellatrix were no longer on the same page. Perhaps they had never been. She used to depend on her. As a child, Bella had always taken care of her and defended her against whatever misfortune crossed their paths. Narcissa had clung to that role; the role of the weaker, younger sister in need of protection. But she had gained a strength of her own after years of life experiences. It suddenly seemed very obvious, how the children were not the lost cause at all, but Bella was.


	21. The Prisoners of Malfoy Manor

**Chapter Twenty-One: The Prisoners of Malfoy Manor**

_I live in a world where two truths coexist: where both hell and hope lie in the palm of my hand.  
-Alice Sebold: Lucky_

Despite the hard work of the Death Eaters, it took them over seven months to capture Draco and Lucia: most newly pronounced blood traitors. Severus had certainly been right about the Order of the Phoenix's security. They possessed a number of safe houses, all equipped with a full measure of protective charms and spells they had so far been unable to break through effectively. Their eventual success was more of a matter of chance. A few sources had said Draco and Lucia had been brought to the house of their long-lost aunt Andromeda.

Both Bellatrix and Narcissa had been shocked at hearing someone mention that name so casually. Andromeda. They had spent the past twenty years doing everything they could to forget their long-lost sister. And now she had the children. Narcissa had hated the gulf of jealousy that washed over her knowing her sister was with Draco and Lucia every day. _She _knew how they were. How Lucia's pregnancy was going, and probably whether she was happy. While she herself could only guess from the sidelines.

Her jealousy quickly turned to pity, though, when she heard of the plans. The house had been under close scrutiny for a while, and so it easily reached them when Ted Tonks, Andromeda's husband of muggleborn blood status, chose to go into hiding. He had not turned up for his questioning at the Ministry concerning his bloodline, so he obviously thought it best not to draw unnecessary attention to the house. If ever a bad choice was made, it was Ted Tonks's choice to leave his family.

It took them only a few weeks to find the man camping in the woods with other runaway blood traitors and muggleborns. The next step in the plan was not so watertight. The Order of the Phoenix had been expected to hold a funeral. At least a small group of them would leave their safe houses for it, if they were as loyal to each other as they used to be. Perhaps they thought even the Death Eaters would not be so disrespectful as to attack during a funeral.

Provided that Lucia and Draco would be smart enough not to attend, surely Andromeda herself would. Narcissa had not been able to overhear every part of the plan, but she though an Imperius Curse and some torturing was part of their tactics. None of that proved necessary. Beyond everyone's expectations, Lucia and Draco _had _come to attend the funeral. Their loyalty to their aunt must have grown over the past few months, or their common sense deluded. When they returned earlier than the rest, they had been easily overpowered by Rodolphus, Yaxley and Travers.

Narcissa had only been able to get a glimpse of them before they were imprisoned in the dungeons. The girl with them she had identified as a Weasley, judging by the flaming red hair and reckles. Both the children appeared in relative good health. Lucia heavily pregnant.

"The Dark Lord wants to decide for himself what to do with them," Bella announced, returning with Rodolphus and the other two Death Eaters from the dungeons. There was a gleam of madness in her eyes; the look she always got when she was about to use the Dark Arts. "Doesn't mean we can't start ahead a little and see if we can get some information out of them. I say we start with the least important."

Before anyone got the chance to contradict her, Bella had snapped her fingers and Wormtail came approaching, hesitant as always, his beady eyes watering like a rat's.

"Fetch the Weasley girl," Bella instructed.

Ginny Weasley. She was full of resistance and strength when they brought her in. Wandless and defenceless, but brave enough to struggle. She would not be the first, nor the last, to be tortured in this house. A small group of Death Eaters gathered in the drawing room, Bellatrix visibly in charge. They were unsure when the Dark Lord would arrive. He had been summoned, but he was on urgent business abroad. It might take hours.

Narcissa couldn't wait for the chance to head downstairs and see for herself the children were, at least at present, in good health. She had been wondering lately whether Lucia had given birth yet. A grandchild. The thought of having one was so surreal it seemed like a dream.

Just as she was heading for the door, her pathway was blocked by Rodolphus. "Not leaving, Cissy, are you?" he raised an eyebrow. The once so handsome man had never truly recovered from the years in Azkaban. While there was still a hint of charm in his gestures, the cruelty overruled everything. "The prisoners can last longer than an hour without food," he grinned maliciously. "Wasn't that where you were heading?"

"I..." she thought quickly. Rodolphus had always been nice enough when they were on the same side. But things had changed. Bella might hold her judgement back in clinging to their bond as sisters, but Rodolphus had little reason not to betray any suspected treason to the Dark Lord.

"Lucius," she said then. "I was just on my way to fetch Lucius... and inform him, of recent events."

"There's no need." Rodolphus kept looking at her, his eyes narrowed. Did he suspect something? Were treacherous thoughts without acting on them enough to be punished? How much longer before she would be able to find a safe way to act on them?

"I've sent word," Rodolphus continued. "He was in Knockturn Alley with Severus. I expect they'll be here soon. My Bella likes an audience, you see."

In the background, the Weasley girl screamed as Bella's _Sectumsempra_ hit her, blood splashing across the floor as her pale skin was cut open magically.

"I see," Narcissa whispered, her mouth dry. She couldn't stand the screaming. She couldn't stand watching this. Rodolphus kept blocking her way and she saw no other way but to turn around and sink back down on her chair.

Bellatrix so far had not had a single response to either of her questions. Not even by the use of the Cruaciatus Curse. Harry Potter's whereabouts and war strategies remained as much of a mystery as they had been before the Weasley girl was brought in. It did not do much good to Bella's temper; she was undoubtedly eager to impress the Dark Lord with new knowledge.

"You silly girl!" Bella panted in disbelief at Ginny's lack of speech. "Something else, then. The Order of the Phoenix. Tell me the locations of their safe houses. NOW!" she added the last word when the girl's lips remained as sealed as ever.

"No!" Ginny shouted in response. She had pushed herself up to a sitting position. The effort left her panting for breath. Her body was covered in cuts. Nothing that would leave her to bleed to death, which was not the aim just yet, but enough to make her suffer.

"I'm not telling you anything, old hag," the girl continued, unwisely.

Bella merely shook with laughter, her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets at her incredulity of the girl's courage. "You just wait," she hissed. "Once the Dark Lord arrives you'll be the first to go."

"Great. You need permission to kill off a pair of teenagers, do you?" said Ginny. "You think your _Voldemort _is so great, but he's been running in circles for years. He spreads fear all around, but he can't kill off someone not even close to half his age, and currently his biggest challenge is a baby that's not even born!"

"Enough!" Bella screamed. "_CRUCIO!"_

Ginny Weasley paid dearly for her words. Her screams sounded all the way throughout the Manor's ground floor, and perhaps further too. Once Bella was on a roll, there was no stopping her.

"Tell. Us. Potter's. Hiding place." Bella put emphasis on every word as she crouched by Ginny's injured body after several repeat performances of the Cruciatus Curse. Ginny laid on the floor , a trembling heap of blood and misery. Bella lowered herself over her, black curls tickling Ginny's freckled, pale face. She was so convinced of her success. Her eyes sparkled with anticipation. That she would be the one to discover such important news.

All of them spectators thought it too. The Weasley girl appeared to pant for breath, gathering her strengths to give Bellatrix what she wanted and end the torture. They hadn't expected what happened next.

In the absence of a wand Ginny reverted to old Muggle methods. She spat Bella square in the face.

The Death Eaters, including Narcissa herself, gasped audibly. Narcissa braced herself for what would follow. Orders from the Dark Lord or not, she wondered whether Bella would be able to repress her rage at such an act.

_"EXPELLIARMUS!"  
_  
The door closed with a thud. It distracted everyone but Bellatrix, who was breathing hard and had her wand –pointed at Ginny's throat seconds ago- flung from her hand.

"How dare you!" she screamed in fury.

"Bellatrix." Severus strode across the room in a heartbeat. "The Dark Lord wants our prisoners alive and _useful. _I'm afraid that includes them being _quite _sane. A repeat performance of your involvement with the Longbottoms will not make him as happy this time. In fact: was it not you who once taught us all the motto: _Discretion is an art in itself?"_

"Wormtail!" he called then, taking hold on a weakened Ginny Weasley's arm and handing her to Peter Pettigrew when he came running. "Return the girl to the dungeons."

Narcissa felt relief wash over her when Severus ended the torture session prematurely. Until now she had not noticed he had entered with Lucius. Lucius seated himself on the chair next to her while the room slowly became emptier. Bella stalked off angrily, going to await the Dark Lord's return elsewhere.

"Have you seen them?" she asked her husband, under her breath.

Lucius had not looked well at all in these months the children had gone, but now he looked utterly defeated. "No," he whispered. "It is out of our hands, Cissa. The Dark Lord will decide over their faith."

He could not honestly mean that. Step back, and let Draco and Lucia's life be decided on without interference? Lucius deserved her pity, but anger boiled inside of her. In the mean time, Narcissa was furious with herself as well. Here she was, waiting for the perfect moment to interfere, while that might never come.

"What do we do now?" she demanded.

Lucius said nothing. He turned his head away from her and stared in the distance. She hoped he felt guilty. She hoped his guilt was as consuming as hers.

Rodolphus's words earlier had made Narcissa more careful. She got the impression she was being watched. That, combined with their doubtful place in the Dark Lord's ranks, made her decide to wait. If she acted unwisely and carelessly others would suffer for her mistakes. Not just her own safety was at stake anymore, after all. She was well aware her mistakes might reflect on both Lucius and Bellatrix. Or worse: the children, who already awaited such horrors. Severus's interference had worked: the intention was to wait for further orders from the Dark Lord himself. He could arrive any minute now. Everyone's anxiousness was obvious. No one left the Manor's downstairs floor, ready to do their master's bidding once he arrived.

Lucius and Narcissa had gathered in one of the most comfortable sitting rooms. They sat by the fire, but it could not warm them much tonight. They were chilled to the bone at what awaited them. Bella was pacing, and checking the time every minute or so. Narcissa's heartrate picked up when Wormtail entered to whisper something in Bella's ear. The pair of them disappeared immediately.

She tried sending Lucius a look of concern, but no eye contact could be made. He shut himself off worse than before.

Time had never passed more slowly. When finally the doors re-opened they expected it to be the Dark Lord arriving. Instead it was Wormtail again, hurrying towards Narcissa this time. She looked shocked when he grabbed her hand so unreservedly, but his message made everything crystal clear.

"You have to come," he announced. "She –the girl- she's going to give birth!"


	22. A Mother's Heart

**Chapter Twenty-Two: A Mother's Heart**

_A flood of emotions rushes into me. Pain and anger. Sadness and pity. But most surprising of all, hope.  
-Jay Asher: Thirteen Reasons Why_

When Narcissa hurried after Wormtail to the dungeons, she had hoped to find he had been exaggerating as usual. The scene in front of them left little doubt, however, that Lucia was indeed dangerously close to giving birth.

The three prisoners were on the floor in the centre of the cell. Lucia was leaning against her brother for some support, while the Weasley girl sat in front of her fulfilling the role of midwife. Bellatrix was leaning against the wall, wand out and ready to attack should the need arise. She looked rather disgusted at what was going on, and clearly intended to stay as far away from it as she could.

"Cissy," she said. "I thought this was more your area of expertise. The Dark Lord wants the child alive, for now."

Narcissa crouched down by her daughter quickly. She brushed her cool hand against Lucia's clammy cheek briefly as a gesture of comfort. The girl was drenched in a mixture of tears and perspiration. Her face was flushed from the effort, and she seemed to squeeze Draco's hand painfully tight.

"How long has this been going on?" Narcissa demanded. She had intended to move Lucia to one of the suites upstairs. If the Dark Lord wanted the child to live, then surely no one would object to that. A dungeon was hardly a place to be born: it was probably full of rats and bacteria. Judging by the state of Lucia now, though, there wouldn't be any time to move her anymore.

"Too long," said the Weasley girl. "I think it could happen any minute." She still looked shaken from the torture session, but her courage was admirable to say the least. Narcissa gently pushed her aside so that she could take over her place between Lucia's legs.

"She can't deliver a baby in here, Mother!" Draco commented. He looked almost more frightened than his sister.

"Didn't you hear the blood traitor?" Bella sneered. "Apparently it's too late for any other option. She would know, these Weasleys breed like rabbits don't they?"

Narcissa sighed tiredly in response to that and, instead of arguing with her sister over unnecessary rudeness, concentrated on the task at hand. She was hardly the expert Bellatrix thought her to be. She had, after all, only seen the process form the other side. Her current position was different entirely. It was frightening as well. If something went wrong, she had no clue what to do.

What she saw then confirmed her suspicions that Lucia must have been contracting for quite some time already. She was obviously fully dilated, and the head was crowning already.

"Sweet Merlin," she whispered quietly. She looked up and met Lucia's frightened gaze. There wasn't any time to realize the seriousness of the situation. No time for reconciliations or apologies or even for Lucia to be embarrassed about her current position. "I think you're ready to push."

"I can't!" Lucia protested with a new series of sobs. Encouragement was hardly needed, though. Lucia's body was more than ready and told her what to do, even if her mind would try to stop it. It was not unlike Draco's birth; it had been just as uncomplicated and smooth.

"The head's out," Narcissa commented some time later upon the steady progress. She kept thinking of what would have happened if Lucia's labour had not been discovered. At least now she could help her; the Dark Lord wanting the child alive was the perfect excuse. It was best not to think too far ahead. Getting the child out safely was a first goal. Its future was a step further.

"Go on Lucie, just a few more times," she instructed softly. Her hand rested on Lucia's knee and Draco willingly offered his hands for his sister to hold on to while she pushed.

"Can't you keep that child quiet, Cissy?!" Bellatrix snapped impatiently as Lucia screamed in agony. "Delivering a blood traitor brat is no reason to wake people up."

"She's in pain!" Narcissa commented, exasperated.

"She should have thought of that before she whored herself out to Potter."

"Bella!" Narcissa gasped. She would have said more, but the situation was too urgent to allow distraction. The next time Lucia pushed, her screams mixed with a newborn's cries: the baby was born.

It was a girl. A girl with black hair. Not at all a Malfoy child. She screamed the moment she was born; showing off her healthy lungs to the world. Narcissa caught her as she came out; her first grandchild.

Everyone was quiet for the moment. Even Bellatrix could think of no snarky remark at present. Draco and Ginny stared at the baby, both equally wide-eyed and pale-faced. Lucia watched her child with what Narcissa recognised as a dreamy sort of astonishment at the miracle that just took place. It was, above all, still a miracle. In this time so full of death and despair, there was new life that brought hope. It brought hope clearer than anything had lately. It was, perhaps, just what they all needed.

Narcissa was busy cleaning blood off the baby with a towel she had conjured out of thin air. She had had to use magic to cut the umbilical cord in the absence of all needed supplies. She wasn't sure if she did things the way Healers did them, but it was better than nothing, and the baby appeared in good health. She was just about to give her to Lucia, who had already opened her arms to receive her, when Bella stepped in.

"We don't have time for this, Cissy. The Dark Lord is waiting." Bella was staring at her arm, where the Dark Mark visibly burned, indicating his arrival. For a moment it seemed Bella was going to snatch the child from her sister's arms, but she retreated eventually. The thought of holding a baby was probably quite revolting to her.

Narcissa glanced from her sister to her daughter, as if to make up her mind. A summon from the Dark Lord could not remain unanswered, but neither could a new mother's heart.

"Come _on, _Cissy," Bella pressed on, already at the foot of the stairs. "We must not keep him waiting!"

Narcissa was forced to follow her. She tried to send her children a look; something that would give them the promise that she would return. They weren't likely to notice, though. Lucia was so horror-struck she forgot to struggle. Even after all these months, where she had had the time for her dislike of her heritage to grow, she had not imagined her own mother would take her newborn baby from her.

Lucia's face was an open book, and it cut Narcissa's heart deeply. Taking the baby from Lucia was the last thing she wanted to do. If only they had five more minutes, then she would be able to explain it was only something temporary. Something that could not be avoided if they valued their lives. There was no such time, though, and her sole comfort for the moment was Draco and the Weasley girl wrapping their arms around Lucia.

Following the birth, Narcissa had wrapped the baby in a blanket to keep her as warm as possible. The little girl had stopped crying, shocked by the bright light when they exited the dungeon.  
They were heading towards the room the Dark Lord had gathered in with the others. Even in the hallway the atmosphere notably changed.

"Bella," she stood still suddenly. "I'm not going in."

Bella stopped in her tracks, hand resting on the doorknob already.

"He wants the baby alive doesn't he?" Narcissa pressed on. "I don't think it would be good for her. She's only just been born, Bella," she pleaded. "She needs to be weighed and checked and cleaned properly." And to stay as far away from fear and despair. The baby's soul was pure and innocent, and if her grandmother had any say in it, it would remain so for a long time.

"Fine. Just stay near. The Dark Lord won't need to see it, anyway," Bella eventually said, her suspicion visible. "But Cissy?"

Narcissa looked up at that, her arms wrapped securely around the little bundle. The baby's safety was suddenly a main priority. For the first time she realised she and her sister were on entirely opposite sides. "Yes?"

"Don't get attached."

Narcissa took the baby to her own chambers, as far away from the evil as possible. In the privacy of her room she could finally get a proper look at her grandchild. The baby was a little smaller than both Draco and Lucia had been at birth; she had no way of knowing whether she was born too early.

"What a way to come into the world," she whispered, bringing the little creature up so that she could kiss the little face. Now that she looked closely she was able to discover a few of Lucia's traits in the baby as well, but she feared it would mainly be her father's child in looks at least. As for character, it remained to be seen.

The blanket she had wrapped the child in still held a few traces of blood from the delivery. Narcissa peeled it off her and took her into the bathroom to wash her properly in the sink. Everything was there. Ten toes, ten fingers. Little arms and legs that squirmed in response as the lukewarm water washed all traces of blood and dirt off of her. When she was all done, Narcissa wrapped her in a clean, warm blanket and held her close to her. She could not bring herself to put the baby down. Barely an hour old and already the subject of so much cruelty. She ought to be securely in the arms of her mother while her birth was celebrated. Not torn away by her grandmother while her permission to live was being debated down the hall.

The baby had fallen asleep while Narcissa rocked her in her arms. The pair of them sat in one of the armchairs by the fire. Narcissa was tired enough to doze off, but she was quickly alert when the door opened.

"Has the meeting finished?" she asked.

Lucius stood in the doorframe with no apparent intention to come in. His eyes were fixed on the child in his wife's arms. "Yes," he said. It sounded like even speaking was a strain. His mind was obviously very far away.

"Lucius?"

Her voice seemed to shake him out of his reverie, for he looked up at her for the first time. "He wants to wait. He thinks Potter will come sooner or later. The Order of the Phoenix must have passed word to him about what happened by now."

"So she is to live, then," Narcissa could not keep the relief from showing through in her voice. In fact, she could hardly tear her eyes from the baby. She had not cried anymore at all; perhaps she knew this was serious business.

"For now." Lucius stepped closer into the room. His motions were rigid, as if he physically carried the strain that was upon both of them. "Cissa, you mustn't..." His eyes went from her to the baby and back.

"Mustn't what?" she repeated shortly. "This is your daughter's child, Lucius." She held the baby out for him to see, thinking if he actually saw her with his own eyes, it might provoke him to come around. She knew he had it in him. He had always loved Lucia so dearly, without any hesitations. Surely he must love her child.

"It is Potter's child. Our enemy's child."

But his words made no impression. There were things that went much further than opposing war sides. The love of a mother for her child, for instance.

"The Dark Lord will allow you to care for the child for now, because it serves a purpose. Your loyalty must not falter, Narcissa. Once we get our hands on Potter the child will no longer be necessary."

His way of thinking was brainwashed. What bothered her most yet was the distant way he spoke of their granddaughter. She was such a perfect baby. Smooth and pink, and apparently sweet-tempered too. All Lucius could think of was meetings and war strategies, did he not see hope folding out before them? She feared she had truly lost her husband this time, and could think of no way to bring him back.

"She will need to be fed. The baby. Will he allow Lucia to nurse her?"

"What?" he seemed yet more distraught by this. "I suppose, if she must. If it keeps the child quiet," he decided then. "But don't be seen running up and down from the cellar. Merlin knows our position is a joke as it is."

"Very well," Narcissa said coldly. "Then I suggest you go to bed now."

Lucius hesitated at the door. It seemed like he was about to say something. His mouth opened and closed again, but no sound came out.

"Good night," he finally said shortly, to which his wife did not reply.

Narcissa waited for a little longer before she took the baby down the stairs. She wanted to be absolutely sure they would not get caught. Even if the Dark Lord would allow her to take the baby down to be fed, there was always the chance he would send someone down with her to make sure she didn't linger.

Fortunately the hallway was deserted. Her heels clicking on the marble was the only sound to be heard in the dead of night. She wasn't sure what she had expected, but the dungeon was ominously silent when she descended the stairs with the baby in her arms. Her eyes needed a few moments to adjust to the darkness, so it took a while to find the right keyhole for her wand to unlock.

Something was wrong. She could feel it the moment she stepped through the barred door into their prison. The three of them sat huddled together against the wall. Lucia appeared to be resting across their laps. Only she wasn't just resting.

Narcissa hurried forwards and dropped to the floor by her visibly ill daughter.

"What's happened?!" she demanded in shock, her hand quickly feeling Lucia's forehead. She was burning up; her face flushed with fever. Her body clammy and she was barely conscious, groaning quietly in pain. This was Narcissa's biggest fear becoming reality. She should have known, giving birth in a place like this could never end well. "How long has she been like this?!"

"Since some time after the baby was born," Ginny Weasley replied in an accusing tone. "We'd just gotten her to fall asleep and then she started to burn up."

"Lucie.. Darling, can you hear me?" Narcissa put the baby in a surprised Draco's arms and turned her full attention on her daughter. She stroked a few strands of hair from her face to study her more intently. The girl barely responded and gave no indication she had heard her mother at all. Lucia's dress was still soaked with blood from the delivery; she must have lost a lot. Another cause of worry.

"What are you going to do? It's probably an infection. She'll die if you don't do anything. Unless that's what you want?"

Narcissa's head jerked up at the Weasley girl's harsh words. She could hardly blame her, though. For all the girl knew everyone in this house was like Bellatrix.

"I am going to get help," she announced, getting to her feet. Even leaving Lucia for another minute was painful, but she could not solve this alone.

The baby had started crying now. She was probably hungry, and now her mother was in no state to feed her. A house elf would have to prepare a bottle. That would have to wait a few minutes, though.

"Just rock her gently," she advised her son. "I will be back."

After stroking her fingers over her son's cheek, she left the dungeon to hurry upstairs. Draco had looked so lost, and frightened. But her daughter needed all of her worries now. She would have to trust on her boy being stronger than he looked, which was what people had always said about herself.

The choice of where to seek help was not a very difficult one. It ought to be her husband she turned to when one of their children was ill, but Lucius had proven himself to be untrustworthy. She could not see him going against the Dark Lord's wishes now, not when his mind was so preoccupied with fear. It was a pity. He ought to see this was their biggest fear. If no one helped the children and left Lucia to die, then what would there be left to live for?

Her feet carried her to the room of Severus Snape. Tonight was the only time she valued Malfoy Manor to be Death Eater's headquarters; at least everyone she needed was so easily within reach. She rapped on the door persistently.

She had prepared herself to wait a while, thinking him asleep at this hour, but he opened the door immediately. Still fully dressed and alert as at every hour, Severus faced her in surprise.  
"Narcissa," he greeted her. "Is there something wrong with the child?"

"No, not the child." She crossed her arms over her chest; the cold hallway added to her body already freezing to the bone with the chills only mortal peril could bring. "It's Lucia. You have to come and help her. I didn't know who else to ask. I think.. I think it's an infection."

She would never forget how he followed her without a hint of hesitation. Their faces set with determination they crossed the dark and deserted hallways. Narcissa was the first to go down into the dungeons, but she could feel Severus's presence behind her.

They found their prisoners in the same position as she had left them. The Weasley girl was holding Lucia's hand while Draco held onto the baby as if it was life itself he was clinging to. Severus pushed Ginny aside and took his place by Lucia's side. His eyebrows knit into a frown as he examined her quickly.

"Sepsis, I believe," he announced gravely, feeling Lucia's pulse. "There isn't much I can do in here. We shall have to move her."

"We can take her to my chambers," Narcissa responded quickly. "It's on the end of the West Wing. Everyone's asleep; no one will notice if we move her now. We'll have to see about tomorrow.."

Severus nodded and scooped Lucia up into his arms easily. Narcissa went to Draco to take over the baby from him. "Be strong," she whispered to him, her lips pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. "I will be back." She glanced over at the Weasley girl then, who had shown such great loyalty to her children tonight. "Are you all right?"

Ginny nodded bravely. The look in her eyes was no longer so accusing as it had been before, though perhaps that was just Narcissa's imagination.

They made an odd pair climbing the stairs. Severus carrying an unconscious Lucia, and Narcissa following with the baby in her arms. The halls of Malfoy Manor were still empty, but nevertheless she felt a great gulf of relief when they safely reached her bedroom. She put the baby on one side of her large four-posted bed and helped Severus put Lucia down. In the light of the room it was all the more obvious how ill she was.

"You can help her, can't you?" Narcissa asked hopefully, drawing up a chair to seat herself by the side of the bed.

"I shall see what I can do, Narcissa," Severus said, turning up the light so that he could examine Lucia more extensively. "I will start on brewing an antidote, but it all depends. It is hard to say how far the infection has spread, or how strong she is."

"Oh, but she's very strong." Narcissa only noticed she was crying when she saw her own salty tears falling on Lucia's face as she leaned over to kiss her. "I do love her, Severus," she whispered. How could she ever have thought she did not? "I've always loved her."

"Of course." It seemed no surprise to him at all. "You're her mother."


	23. The Plan

**Chapter Twenty-Three: The Plan**

_Above, the stars shone hard and bright, sparks struck off the dark skin of the universe.  
-Stephen King: The Stand _

The pair of them were in for a long night. Severus hurried down to fetch a cauldron and the needed supplies to brew an antidote for Lucia's infection. Narcissa took this time to rid her daughter of the bloody dress. She wasn't sure she could move her to the bathroom on her own, so she washed her on the bed instead and changed her into a clean gown. Every now and then the girl opened her eyes and muttered something incoherent.

"She's delirious," Narcissa told Severus when he returned.

"It's the fever," he nodded, quickly setting up the cauldron before starting on chopping some ingredients. "I can have this ready by morning, see if we can get her temperature to settle a little before then."

While Severus worked on the potion, Narcissa ran back and forth between Lucia and the bathroom. Lucia felt so cold her teeth chattered and she kept visibly shivering, even after extra blankets had been added. Narcissa filled some hot water bottles and placed them by her daughter's feet hoping to warm her up a little. It was good to have something to do; it made her feel more useful. The day had been endless already, but she was up on adrenaline.  
When nothing more was left to do, she sank down in the chair by the bedside. Lucia was murmuring more audibly now, her head thrashing from side to side in her discomfort. She only seemed to settle down slightly when her mother held her hand and whispered soothing words.

"Shh," Narcissa bent down to kiss her daughter's forehead. "Mother is here now. Everything will be all right. We're going to make you all better." Her fingers stroked through Lucia's blond hair while she wondered how much of her words were lies.

She squeezed Lucia's hand and noticed only then the thin, golden ring around her finger. "He's married her," she whispered. A dagger, straight to her heart. Her only daughter, married, and she had not been there. "At least Potter did the right thing..."

"Yes, it seems he would do that sort of thing. As thick-headed as Potter always was when I taught him at Hogwarts, he always has had a sense of unbearable loyalty," Severus grimaced. "Narcissa," he continued then. "It is rather late. You should go to bed and get a few hours of sleep. I can wake you when Lucia's condition changes."

"No," she immediately replied. "I'm not going anywhere. I have failed in being a mother on so many levels already, I won't add any more to that."

"You haven't failed her all that much," he assured her. "You are here now, at the most crucial of moments. While Lucius, forgive me to speak so bluntly, is conspicuous by his absence."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," she grimaced as Lucius was mentioned. If she was just a tad more certain he could be trusted she would have fetched him. As horrible as it may seem, though, she could not. She knew very well the things Lucius was capable of when he was under great stress such as he was now. He would do anything to save his life and get back into the Dark Lord's good books. Narcissa liked to think 'anything' did not include sacrificing his own beloved daughter, but she simply could not be sure.

They were roused by the baby making her presence known by some soft cries. She was on the other side of the bed, a pillow on either side to prevent her from rolling off. The poor thing must be quite hungry by now.

"I'm going to go down to the kitchens and ask the elves to prepare her a bottle," Narcissa decided, picking up her granddaughter. "Will you stay with Lucia?"

"Of course."

When Narcissa returned some time later with a well-fed baby, Severus stood over a very distraught Lucia.

"I'm giving her something to calm her down," he explained, tipping her head back to get her to swallow a spoonful of potion.

Narcissa quickly put the baby down and climbed onto the bed beside her daughter. She wrapped her in her arms and rocked her softly. It wasn't long before Lucia's distress settled down; combined effects of the potion and, Narcissa dared to think, her own soothing. It felt good to hold her so close, she ought to have done it more often when Lucia was younger. It was such a cliché, but children really did grow up so fast. She leaned in closer when Lucia attempted to say something.

"Harry," she whimpered. "Need... Harry."

"Shh, darling," Narcissa kissed her burning forehead. "No more talking. You must save your strengths." Lucia's words were spoken in slumber, though, for she quickly sank back into that, without acknowledging even her mother's presence.

"Is the child all right?" Severus left his cauldron to stew and peered down at the baby with an expression Narcissa could not quite understand.

"Yes, I believe so. It's a strong little thing," Narcissa smiled at the mention of her grandchild. "A grandchild... I'm too young to be a grandmother." She glanced at a now calmly sleeping Lucia. "She's too young to be a mother. Barely eighteen... such a child still. She shouldn't be going through this." She caressed her face lovingly.

"You were about the same age when Draco was born," Severus reminded her.

"Yes, but it seemed so different then. I thought I was real mature," she chuckled quietly at the memory of her young, naive self. Carefully she put Lucia back down on the bed, her head neatly on the pillow. "Of course I knew next to nothing."

"We were all like that, then."

"Severus..." Narcissa looked up at him. "Why are you doing this? What you're doing here, it is risking your life. How can I ever thank you?"

"You cannot, and you need not," he assured her. He had drawn up another chair on the other side of Lucia's bed.

"Sometimes I wonder whose side you're really on" she said quietly.

"One could ask the same about you, considering your current actions." The corner of his mouth twitched towards a smile.

"I am on Lucia's side, and on Draco's side, no matter where that is." Narcissa busied herself tucking another blanket over the bed more neatly. "I haven't cared about this war for a very long time. In fact, I wonder if I ever cared about it at all. It all seems more and more pointless," she sighed. Such treasonous thoughts had never left her lips before. They cost her no trouble at all. If anything, it felt deliberating to speak her mind. If there was anyone she could trust, it was Severus. No matter what side he was really on.

The next thing she knew she was opening her eyes to the faint traces of daylight coming through the curtains. She must have fallen asleep. Her aching neck reminded her why it was a bad idea to sleep in a chair. Severus entered the room as she stretched and rubbed her aching muscles. He was carrying a steaming mug of something.

"Ah, you're awake I see."

"You should have woken me up," Narcissa turned her attention on her sleeping daughter. Her breathing was calmer and deeper, and her face seemed slightly less flushed. "How long was I out for?"

"Only an hour or two. I didn't see the use of waking you. Lucia slept quite peacefully after another dose of Sleeping Draught." Severus handed her the mug. "Chicken broth. See if she holds it down. Not a typical breakfast, but I doubt she's up for scrambled eggs. Once she's eaten something the potion has more chance of being effective. We'll have to return her soon. Bellatrix will likely go down to check on the prisoners in the dungeon."

Returning her. Throughout the night Narcissa had allowed herself to suppress that thought, but now it was dangerously near.

"How can we take her back after all this?" she whispered.

"If we don't, I assure you the Dark Lord will not be pleased we are caring for our prisoners like hotel guests," Severus said calmly, moving over to the cauldron to fill a glass with the potion that was now ready.

The rest of the hour passed in silence. Narcissa woke Lucia up gently, propping her up against a few pillows so that she could feed her the soup and then the potion. Lucia didn't speak much. Her eyes were more alert than they had been during the night, but it cost all her strength to sit upright and swallow the soup. Even that slight effort left her sweat-soaked and exhausted. It seemed nothing really got through to her. Her mind must be blurred still from both the fever and the extra dose of Sleeping Draught. Lucia's hands, though, went to her now flat stomach as if noticing for the first time she was no longer pregnant.

"Mother?" she whispered, looking up at Narcissa with recognition for the first time truly after her delirious night.

"Yes," Narcissa smiled through her tears of relief. She had known it all along: Lucia was a strong girl. She was going to recover. She was going to get all better and return to the blooming health she had once had. After she went to kiss both her daughter's cheeks, she quickly picked up the sleeping baby and put her into Lucia's eager arms.

It was such a beautiful sight. As if it were always meant to be like this. As if the baby had always been there. The small tuft of black hair looked perfect against Lucia's ivory skin. Lucia cradled the baby close to her, staring at her in amazement. Her lips traced the little head before she planted a gentle kiss on top of it. Her child. And Harry Potter's child. The child of the enemy, and yet it brought so much hope to all of them.

"Is she all right?" Lucia finally spoke. Her voice sounded hoarse from the effort and she could not tear her eyes away from the child in her arms. It was awake now, perhaps roused by the familiar presence of her mother.

"Perfectly," Narcissa assured her, sitting on the edge of the bed. She too reached out to stroke the baby's downy soft hair. "She was here all night, quite next to you. It settled her down, I'm sure. Have you thought of a name for her?"

Slowly, Lucia shook her head, without looking away from the baby. "We thought she'd be a boy."

Seeing Lucia with her child brought new tears to Narcissa's eyes. She had thought herself above such emotional responses, but a situation as this went above and beyond anything she had ever expected to go through. Severus was right; they would have to return Lucia to the dungeons so as not to arouse suspicion. And then what? They might be granted a few days like this while the Dark Lord expected Potter to come for his wife and child, but what if he didn't? What if Potter would not come, either because he didn't want to or because he could not be reached? Would the Dark Lord grow tired of the prisoners and simply kill them off? And the baby? Narcissa could not even bring herself to answer these questions in her head.

"You always gave such pretty names to your dolls when you were younger, I'm sure you'll think of something beautiful," she whispered, tears now openly rolling from her eyes. Why hadn't she enjoyed her daughter more when she was little? The reasons that had held her back from truly bonding with Lucia seemed so pointless now. And she had always been such a good child.  
Together they stared at the baby. Grandmother, mother, and daughter. Three generations of women, bonded for the first time.

"Zara," Lucia finally said, barely audible. "Her name should be Zara. Zara Lillian. Harry would like it..."

"He _will _like it," Narcissa assured her, confused by her own support of this son-in-law she had never really met. Severus had spoken of his loyalty, and by the way Lucia seemed taken to him she suspected this was a marriage of love. The sort of marriage she herself would have liked to have. The start of hers with Lucius had not been bad at all, but somehow down the road they had lost each other. And yet she had always remained the dutiful wife seeming as if she had no thoughts of her own. She had them now, though, and realised she had always had them. All she needed was a clear plan. The intention was there; the intention to make sure her daughter had the life she herself had so wanted.

"Narcissa, it is nearly seven o'clock. They will be waking up soon. We have to return her now." Severus had blended in the background discretely while they had their moment. She detested his words, but knew he was right. Lucia and the child were in enough danger as it was, she was not about to add to that.

"Right." Narcissa tucked a strand of Lucia's hair behind her ear and lifted her chin gently with her finger. "Lucie. Can you trust us?"

Lucia tightened her grip on the baby, but she looked from her mother to Severus, seemingly considering her options. Her godfather was the one that had helped her and Draco escape Malfoy Manor at first, now over six months ago. She might be able to trust him more easily than her mother. A painful reality Narcissa hoped to change.

"I... I suppose I have no choice," Lucia finally said. The baby, apparently sensing the change of atmosphere, had started to cry. She would need to be fed again, as well.

"Good," Narcissa nodded. "Now listen. I will come back, you hear me? I will send down food for the three of you, and I'll come down as often as I can."

"And bottles for the baby," Lucia said. Her voice sounded strained, and seemed to come from far away.

Narcissa exchanged a quick glance with Severus. "The baby must stay here, Lucie," her voice broke as she said it. "As much as I want you to have her, think of how it will look. I was appointed to care for her. If they come to check on you down there and find the baby with you, I won't be able to help you anymore."

But Lucia didn't care how it would look. She was a new mother, hormonal and exhausted after a night of dreadful fevers. She just wanted her baby with her and couldn't think further ahead. And no one could blame her for that.

"But I need to keep her with me." Large teardrops rolled onto the baby's face as Lucia cried bitterly.

Severus stepped in, handing Lucia a small vial. "Drink up," he said quietly. "It'll make this easier for all of us."

Lucia protested weakly for a while, but finally succumbed and downed the contents of the vial. Almost immediately she fell back against the pillows in a deep slumber. It allowed Narcissa to take the baby from her arms. It was still crying; small arms and legs squirming inside the blanket she was wrapped in.

"I'll take her down, you go and feed the baby," Severus lifted Lucia into his arms in one swift movement and carried her out of the room.

When he returned, she sat feeding baby Zara a bottle, prepared discretely by the house elves. "We cannot sedate her forever," she said, wiping the remainders of tears from her eyes.

"Indeed not," Severus nodded. "But think of this, Narcissa: Have we been patching her up simply to wait until the Dark Lord sees it fit to kill her? In that case it might have been kinder to have let the illness take her life."

Her eyes locked on his, and it was as if she suddenly saw things so much clearer. Of course. Bravery ignited inside of her like a lightning bolt. It was a spark coming to life that had been always there, waiting to be called upon.

"Severus," she said, "I'm afraid I must ask you one more thing."

"You ask it," he inclined his head. "And you shall have it."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading so far :) Don't forget to Review to tell me what you think :) To those wondering about the reasoning behind the baby's name: I chose Zara both for the lovely, slightly mysterious sound to it combined with the meaning (either princess or 'blooming flower' depending on the language). Lillian is a combination of Lil(y) and An(dromeda), the latter because Lucia grew close to her aunt during her months in hiding.


	24. Song of Bravery

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Song of Bravery**

_Towards midnight the rain ceased and the clouds drifted away, so that the sky was scattered once more with the incredible lamps of stars.  
-William Golding: Lord of the Flies _

"Say that, hypothetically speaking, I would want to pass a message to someone whose hiding place is unknown. Would that be possible?" Narcissa held tightly onto her grandchild as she posed this highly treasonous question. Her mind was working full speed as a plan developed. All reserves and fears had fallen apart so easily. In her arms she held the only thing that mattered. This child, and her own children, their safety was the only thing.

"There are few things impossible in the Wizarding World," Severus said. "Normally I would not even say such a thing is difficult. It is now, though, because of the dangers the current situation brings along."

"Dangerous, but not impossible?"

"Certainly not impossible. There is owl post. Owls have a way of finding the addressee to the post they carry, wherever they are. But the Dark Lord keeps track of all owl post. Considering Lucius's and your suspicious position in his ranks it is likely he monitors every letter you send or receive. But there are other kinds of creatures that can carry messages. Creatures with a highly powerful magic of their own, usually ignored by the Dark Lord. You could even find them within your own home."

Narcissa frowned in response to that. She stood up to put the baby down on the bed when Zara was properly fed. "You won't tell me what they are?"

"I would. But this is your plan, Narcissa. I can hint and even help you here and there, but it is for you to act upon it."

It dawned upon her suddenly, and she smiled. "House elves."

"Indeed." He returned her smile, if just slightly. "Should you seek, hypothetically speaking, to escort people inside and outside the Manor unseen, I would advise against using a house elf for it. As you know the Dark Lord has put anti-Apparition charms upon the Manor. An elf will be able to go through those, even escorting humans, but the chance is great the Dark Lord will still be notified if a human manages to pass through the charms."

"Right. Hypothetically speaking, of course," Narcissa agreed. "So, no apparition. What about the Floo network?"

"An excellent suggestion I could have made myself. Far easier to lift the protective enchantments of one of the fireplaces, than to rid the entire manor of an anti-Apparition charm," Severus nodded. "So, this settles your plan, then?"

"I suppose so." It was surprisingly easy to think of a plan. She doubted, however, it would be as easy to act out. "You mustn't help me anymore now," she decided. "I have put you in enough danger as it is. Like you said, this is _my _plan. I can't believe I'm doing this," her mouth twitched towards a smile.

"Do not fool yourself, Narcissa. Every part of this plan is treason. I want you to understand that. If you are found out, it means death. I cannot help you anymore in that case."

"I understand," she nodded in agreement. "And I willingly accept the risk."

When Severus went on his way, Narcissa waited until the baby was soundly asleep. She set an elf on guard by little Zara and instructed it to alert her as soon as she woke up. Meanwhile she herself went to inspect the various fireplaces in the Manor to see which would be most appropriate for her plan. Now and then she came across other Death Eaters, hurrying to and fro the drawing room for meetings. Not being a Death Eater herself, Narcissa was not required to attend them all, so her absence would not look suspicious. Especially not since she was required to care for the baby. Even without attending the meetings she could tell something was different, though. The Death Eaters seemed more agitated, and it was a strange hour for them to be so busy. Most of their work and gatherings occurred during night time. She would have to wait for Severus to tell her what was wrong; the job she had set herself was too urgent to linger. Now the baby was born, Lucia would be less valuable to the Dark Lord. He might not see the value of keeping her and the other two alive for much longer. The sooner she would get them to escape, the better.

Eventually she decided on the fireplace in the library in the West Wing, close to her own private chambers. The library was far from the most occupied places in the house, and it would be easy to escape to her own rooms again afterwards.

Her heart hammered as she seated herself behind the desk to compose a good enough letter to convince the enemy to take such a grand risk. Although her hand trembled, soon the words were surprisingly steady on the piece of parchment.

_To Harry Potter,  
__  
__Tonight at midnight I will temporarily lift the protective charms from the fireplace in the library in the West Wing of Malfoy Manor. I will only have one chance for this, and should you fail to come both my children and the Weasley girl will die in the nearby future. Your daughter I fear will expect a faith worse yet. Perhaps you understand the risk I take with this is as grand as yours. I cannot ask for you to trust me, but I can ask for you to save my daughter and granddaughter, in whose wellbeing I believe we share a common interest._

_Sincerely, Narcissa Malfoy._

Now all she could do was hope it would be convincing. Folding the letter and sealing it safely within an envelope, she summoned the elf most familiar to her. She could have used one of the elves from the Manor, but it posed too great a risk. Kreacher had a lifelong loyalty to her. And, apparently, to the Potter boy as well. Perhaps it would work to her advantage.

The little elf came at her first summoning. It was surprisingly easy. It bowed its head so low its nose touched the floor in his eagerness to please her.

She crouched down by the elf. "Hello Kreacher. I was wondering if you might do me a favour."

"Kreacher is always eager to please miss Cissy. Kreacher is ever loyal to the Noble House of Black," murmured the elf, nearly tripping over his own feet in his eagerness to be called upon by someone he has favoured so in the past.

"Yes, I know, and I will not forget how loyal your service always was to my favourite aunt Walburga and the rest of our family." Narcissa stood up to pick up the sealed envelope and handed it to Kreacher. "This is a message for Harry Potter. I have no way of knowing where he is, but it is essential he be delivered this message today. Do you think you could do that for me, Kreacher? More than one life depends on it."

Kreachers eyes widened so much she feared they might pop out of their sockets. This was not the first time he was sent on such a momentous task by a member of the House of Black.

"Kreacher will do what he can, miss Cissy, Kreacher will not disappoint." He bowed again, and again, holding the envelope snugly in his little fist. She was sure he was still bowing when he disapparated again with a final, audible pop.

This was it, then. The moment Narcissa Malfoy was not only a traitor in thoughts, but also in act. She had expected it to be a moment of fear, that she would hardly be able to overcome. But instead, she felt free. Reborn. As if something she ought to have done a long time ago was finally completed. This was only the first part of the plan, though. There were still so many reasons the plan could fail. She realised that very well when she walked down the hall back to her chambers. In the hallway she passed Travers and Nott, who merely nodded absent-mindedly to acknowledge her presence as they hurried on their way.

When she returned to her room, she found Severus cleaning up the cauldron and other supplies that might give away their treacherous night.

She closed the door behind her, leaning against it with her back. It was only now that she was safe enough to relax, that she realised the importance of what she had just started. "This first part of the plan was successful," she said breathlessly. She noticed she was trembling all over.

"Good." Severus stood to face her. "Are you all right Narcissa?"

She made a gesture, something between a nod and a shake of the head, as her eyes locked on his. He has been a great friend for so long, this co-conspirator of hers. If anyone knew her at all, it was Severus. More than once, he has seen her at her weakest. And tonight, he has seen her at her strongest. He was there when she was a naïve young bride of seventeen that knew nothing of life. And he is still here now, while she has seen too much of it.

"It looks like there's something going on. Have you heard anything?"

"No, I haven't been summoned yet. I was just about to go and check things over," Severus replied. The room now no longer carried any sign of the scene that had occurred there overnight. Every trace of Lucia and her illness had been erased. There was only the baby, sleeping soundly in the cradle she had transfigured out of a chair earlier that morning.

"Can you stay? A little longer?" Narcissa asked quietly. The idea of being alone after the night they had spent together was suddenly overwhelming. If he left her she feared she would fall prey to the fear that was undoubtedly waiting to consume her.

"I could." He sounded hesitant, and watched her with a peculiar sort of expression. Her request probably sounded strange to him. And it was, but it had left her lips before she could stop herself.

"Severus…" In one swift moment she crossed whatever distance there was left between them. She stood facing him now, closely. Closer than personal space allowed.

"Make love to me," she breathed, in a moment of outrageous carelessness possessing her. It was so unlike her, the frigid and dutiful housewife. She thought it might be her act of treason that had caused this: shots of adrenaline filling her mind and body. Adultery seemed only a feeble addition to the ever-expanding list of sins to her name.

For a moment she feared he might decline. The expression on his face was impossible to read.  
Unwilling to wait for a rejection, she crushed her mouth on his. It had been years, too long, since she had last kissed a man. Really kissed, like this.

It was not long before he responded to it. She had convinced him, perhaps with her kiss, that this was the right thing to do. That this was how it should be, after everything. Their grand finale. The world could not go on as it was now; neither victory or loss, neither night or day. This eternal twilight zone, it was coming to an end. They could feel it. They all knew it. The tension was in the air like it had been for a very long time.

His arms lifted her easily off the floor, holding her up against the door as their lips explored and their tongues met. Narcissa did not once fool herself into thinking his reaction was one of a romantic nature. Neither, she thought, was hers.

Whatever it was for either of them, it seemed like it was meant to be at this very moment. With one arm he supported her and carried her over to the bed, while his free hand was entangled in her hair. Their clothes were soon a quickly growing pile on the floor, until they were both entirely naked. It felt uncomfortable to show him this much of her. Lucius was the only man that had seen her naked, and even that was years ago. Although she had kept in shape, her body was no longer that of a seventeen-year-old.

"Wait," she whispered then, her hands reaching up to cover herself, with a nervous laugh at her own recklessness. "I haven't done this in quite some time."

"It doesn't matter," he breathed against her skin, his hand cupping her face for another kiss. "Don't hide yourself." He took her hands, and removed them from her chest. "You have no reason to be embarrassed."

In the heat of the moment Narcissa did not have room for much thoughts, but later she recalled how he had not disclosed any information about his own mysterious love life at all. She used to invite unmarried friends over for dinner in time with Severus, but he had never showed more than a polite interest. She had thought of many theories, but none were never confirmed.

"All right," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. Much closer. As close as possible.

Neither of them had time or desire for foreplay. This was not, after all, about the endless joys of lovemaking. There was a much more essential purpose. For their bodies to be joined where their souls had joined already. In this night, where they both risked so much.

His desire for her was obvious, and flattering. She wrapped her legs around his waist and encouraged him to go on, to enter her and take her, and show her what it could be like. What she had missed in all these years she had allowed herself to think the joys of sex were not destined for her to enjoy.

She had braced herself for it to hurt. Like it always did in her memories. Yet all she felt when he entered her was a quick, sharp ache that soon faded to the background. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she held on tight.

"Am I hurting you?" he whispered, his hands caressing over her body.

"No," she said, surprising herself at the truth of the answer. Her eyes opened to meet his, and she had not even noticed she had kept them tightly shut. Slowly her muscles relaxed, and she allowed her hips to rise and meet each thrust of his. Slow at first, but their pace quickly picked up speed.

Overall it lasted much too short for Narcissa's liking. It had not been romantic or sweet, but neither of them believed in hearts and flowers anymore. They dressed soon after. It was bittersweet. Laying for hours into each other's arms would not have changed anything. Each of them had their business to attend to. Severus had his meetings and business for the Dark Lord, and Narcissa had her own busy day ahead of her. There was the baby still sleeping on the other end of the room, right around the corner. She had to send down food for the prisoners. Prepare for tonight. Midnight. The moment of truth. Nothing more could distract her from that.

It came ever so quickly, the moment. Too quickly. The day passed in a blur, with most of Narcissa's time devoted to the baby. The sweet little creature provided such a wonderful distraction from the cruel reality.

Lucius did not show himself anymore. In a way, that was probably for the best. She suspected he kept his distance because of the baby. Zara's presence was the very symbol of what her grandfather hated so much: his own daughter, with his one great enemy. It was more difficult yet, because he could not help but love her. Or at least in Narcissa's head he did. Such an explanation made everything slightly more bearable.

At half past eleven Narcissa went down to the dungeon. She had planned the time well, for she came across no one in the hallway. The Dark Lord was not even in the house; he was on very urgent business, as were many of the Death Eaters. There were rumours the Potter boy had recently broken into Gringotts with his two friends. Whatever the truth of that, it made the plan much easier.

The three of them watched her expectantly when she opened the door. Lucia was sitting up, she was glad to see. Her complexion was terribly pale still, and she was leaning on the Weasley girl, but she was conscious at least.

She embraced Draco first. Her darling boy. She breathed in his scent that was so familiar, even though he was now a man. "You've been so brave," she whispered to him, reaching up to stroke a strand of hair from his face.

Next she crouched down by her daughter and hurriedly checked her forehead and her pulse. There wasn't much time left.

"Do you all trust me?" she asked, standing up and motioning for Draco to pick up his sister. "We don't have much time. You all need to do exactly as I say. If you run off, or try to do anything silly, you will ruin this for all of us."

"What plan?" Ginny demanded. A quick glance between her and Draco calmed her down, though.

"You will see. Trust me," she repeated. No further protests made it safe for Narcissa to turn around and lead the way upstairs. Luck was on their side, for once again they came across no one. She led them straight into the library.

"How has she been?" she whispered to her son, when Draco placed his sister on the sofa. Narcissa had picked up the baby from the cradle by the window, and held her close to her. It was safer that way. If Potter saw her holding his child, he might not curse her immediately. Minutes ticked away. A little longer, and Zara would finally meet her father.

"Good," Draco assured her. "Upset, though, and she keeps falling asleep. Not as much fevers, I think. She doesn't feel as warm."

His words confirmed what Narcissa herself had expected; Severus's antidote was working.

"Mother?" Draco frowned as he watched her pace with the baby in her arms. Ginny stood to the side, suspicious still. Lucia had sunk back into her slumber. The high dose of Sleeping Draught had kept her drowsy all day long.

"Just a little while longer," she shook her head, unwilling to answer any more questions. Her eyes were locked on the fireplace. She was sure she had done the right spells for the protective charms to be lifted. It had to be now. Any second now. Across the room the old grandfather clock announced midnight.

Just when she was starting to think of the many things that could have gone wrong, the flames turned green, indicating someone was about to arrive by Floo powder. Seconds later, she found herself eye to eye with Harry Potter.


	25. Reunions

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Reunions**

Harry Potter's arrival was no true surprise. He was expected and welcome, at least to the people in this room. Despite that Narcissa could not stop an expression of shock as she stood eye to eye with her supposed enemy. He drew his wand, but did nothing: he had noticed the baby in her arms. The baby he had not even known was born. His daughter.

"Please," Narcissa spoke quickly. "No one knows we're here. It is safe, but we don't have much time."

She watched as Potter considered his options. His eyes had been fixed on her and the child the whole time. As seconds carried on it dawned upon him that should they have been out to attack him, they would have by now. He lowered his wand just slightly and nodded at the sight of first Ginny and then Draco. He noticed Lucia last, as she was laying on the sofa. Something in his gaze changed at the sight of his young wife, and he went over to her. As he dropped to his knees to take her into his arms, Narcissa couldn't help but feel her heart open to this young man that showed such obvious love for her daughter. She almost felt like an intruder to watch their reunion after months of absence.

"What's wrong with her?" Harry demanded when Lucia proved barely conscious.

"She's been very sick," Narcissa came closer, thinking it safe now that his wand was sufficiently lowered. "An infection."

"Right. Because Voldemort doesn't do proper health care?" There was an edge to Harry's voice and she could not blame him for it. Lucia's condition was absolutely unnecessary in present times. Had she been able to give birth in proper, clean circumstances she would have never become ill at all. It was a miracle the baby was doing so fine.

"She's recovering," Narcissa said. "She'll be weak for a while, but we treated her with the right antidote."

Harry said nothing more, and she was grateful he did not ask who 'we' included. She approached him further to show him the baby, carefully removing the blanket to reveal more of Zara's little face. She was just waking up, perhaps sensing the tension in her grandmother's body.

"Your daughter," she said.

Harry watched her approach cautiously at first, but when she revealed his daughter's face he could not look at anything but the baby. His first true family member.

Suddenly Narcissa found herself hoping he would succeed at whatever he had planned to end the war. She wished him a safe life with Lucia and the child. For Zara to grow up with both parents in a time of peace. In the happy family she deserved. But how likely was that? When even fully mature, experienced and highly-skilled wizards crumbled at the mere sight of the Dark Lord.

"Can I…" he looked hesitant, obviously unused to babies.

"Oh. Of course." Forgetting about their state as enemies, Narcissa reached out and laid the baby, very carefully, into his arms. "There you go," she smiled. "Just support the head."

A slow smile spread over Harry's features and it seemed the pair of them were bonded through their love of this child. He held onto Zara, clumsily, but with impressive gentleness.

"She's perfect," Harry murmured. He turned around, supposedly to look at Lucia, but Narcissa noticed him blinking away some tears.

"Lucie," he said quietly, kneeling by the sofa again with the baby. His free hand reached out to stroke Lucia's face as he gazed first at the baby, and then at her. He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers.

Roused by the familiar touch of his lips on hers, Lucia opened her eyes. She stared at Harry as if she could not believe what she was seeing.

"I'm here," Harry whispered, oblivious to the presence of the others. "I'm here Lucie," a smile broke through on his face, to which a very drowsy Lucia responded slowly.

"Harry?"

"That's right! I came back. For you. And the baby. I'm so sorry I missed it. The birth. But I've got her here now, you see?" his free arm wrapped around Lucia to help her sit up a little. This seemed to bring her back to her senses. "She's perfect, Luce. You must have been so very brave. I'm taking you and the baby home now. Back to your aunt's house."

As tears poured down Lucie's face, Narcissa turned to Draco and Ginny to give them at least a sense of privacy.

"Their reunion looks like a perfect shot for _Witch Weekly_", Draco grimaced. "All we need is Celestina Warbeckc singing 'A Cauldron Full of Hot , Strong Love', and the drama is complete." He spoke bravely, but the little colour he had left had drained from his face. He knew very well that if they were caught, all of them would die.

"I doubt we need any more drama," Narcissa said. She kept glancing at the clock. It was well past midnight. She was not sure how much longer she would be able to assure their safety.  
"You should really go now," she finally said to Harry after giving the young family a few more moments.

Disentangling himself from Lucia's embrace, Harry stood up and nodded. "Ginny, Draco, you should go first. One of you will have to carry the baby. I can't floo Lucia and the baby." He hesitated, and then glanced at Narcissa. "Are you... coming with us?" His voice was very tentative. Perhaps he had been thinking about it from the moment he got the letter.

As odd as it may seem, Narcissa had not considered this option at all. She had just assumed, that her main goal was to get the children, the Weasley girl and the baby to safety. Saving herself had not even belonged to any of the possibilities. The question asked now sent her into confusion.

"You should come with us," Draco said, his eyes lighting up. "Mother, if you stay here you will surely be killed. They'll suspect you for sure."

"But your father?" she asked softly. "I can't leave him here." Her place, it had always been by Lucius's side. Doing whatever he told her to do. Thinking what he told her to think.

"Father will not want to join us," Draco spoke quietly.

She knew it was the truth as soon as he had said it. In fact, she had known for a while now. She had given Lucius many chances to show he was trustworthy, and he had taken none of them. It pained her greatly, for she knew he had it in him to be a better man. Throughout twenty years of marriage he had shown her bits of that man. The years they had had, they were not all bad. Somewhere down the road she had progressed to where she was now, and Lucius had remained behind. Not brainwashed like Bellatrix, but frightened. Frightened perhaps, of what he would become if he lost control again. Not giving in to one side or the other. Stuck in the middle, in the in-between, of the man he could be and the man he hated.

"I'd like to stay with my children. I'll come with you, if you'll have me." The words were spoken so very easily. They had laid there, on the tip of her tongue, ready to be finally said.

Potter, -Harry-, stared at her as if in doubt. In his eyes she saw consideration for the briefest of moments.

"I think you can trust her, Harry," came the voice of Ginny Weasley.

The word of her, a loyal member of the Order of the Phoenix, appeared to be just the encouragement Harry needed. He nodded and handed Ginny the baby while he took Lucia into his arms. Lucia was fully awake now, and held onto her husband. She looked determined to remain conscious this time.

"Ginny, Draco, you go first with the baby," Harry instructed.

They watched as first Ginny and Zara, and then Draco disappeared into the flames. With a shock Narcissa realized where they were headed: Andromeda's house. She was going to be reunited with her long-lost sister. Her first urge was to run, but she had never been the impulsive one. That was Bella's territory.

How many times had she not imagined seeing Andromeda again? Especially the first years after her departure, when the entire family seemed to consider her as good as dead. Only it was worse than death. The dead were mourned for and talked about in often loving memories. Andromeda was simply blasted off the family tree and never mentioned again by her parents or Bellatrix. Narcissa was only a child when she left, a naïve girl of sixteen. She could have used the support of her gentler sister in the first rocky years of marriage. She wondered now why she had so easily complied when she was forbidden to contact Andromeda. She could have rebelled, or operated in secret. Only she had never known such courage. Only very recently had she stepped up and began making decisions that were entirely her own. A reunion with her sister could be the very symbol of that change. She feared, however, that Andromeda would not want to see her. She could not explain any of this to Harry Potter, who stood watching her expectantly.

"I'm very grateful for what you've done," he said to her then. "Contacting me. Arranging this. It was a brave thing. I won't forget."

"It was nothing," Narcissa handed him the floo powder when he stepped up to the fireplace with Lucia in his arms. "I should have helped my children a long time ago."

The confidentiality between these two near-strangers was rather awkward, and she was relieved when Harry took the powder, named their destination, and disappeared into the flames with Lucia.

Now Narcissa alone remained in the library. Her mind might be playing tricks on her, but she thought she heard footsteps in the hallway. She gave the room one last look, wondering whether this was the last time she saw this house. This house she spent so many years with Lucius, and with the children. She had always loved Malfoy Manor.

Not wasting any more time she gathered the floo powder and followed Harry and Lucia to the safe house.

She was not sure what she had expected. Quite possibly an obvious display of hostility from her sister. The small living room was full of people, but Narcissa spotted her immediately. She was helping Harry install Lucia on the sofa while a pink-haired young woman embraced first Ginny and then Draco. In the corner stood a playpen with another baby, a bit older than Zara by the looks of it.

It was only when Narcissa stepped out of the fireplace, that people noticed her.

"It's all right," Harry spoke to the others in the room. "She can be trusted. It was really her who sent the letter. There was no one else involved."

The pink-haired woman was the only one that took out her wand. She looked so like Andromeda it had to be her daughter. "Now isn't the time to trust people easily, Harry."

"I can give you my wand," Narcissa said quietly. As much as she wanted to, now was not the time to defend herself. They were doubting her loyalty and they had every right to.

"I think that's a very good idea," said the pink-haired woman.

"And I think that's a very foolish idea, Dora." Andromeda left Lucia on the sofa and came forward to look at her sister. "Times like these we shouldn't have people going around without wands."

For the first time in a very long time the sisters stood facing each other. More than twenty years, but it could just as well have been yesterday they were separated. The worries Narcissa had had preceding their reunion washed away so easily. It was her. Not the enemy. Just her sister. Their eyes locked, and neither broke the stare.

"Dora, would you mind helping Harry put Lucia and the baby upstairs? They both need rest. Draco and Ginny can refresh themselves in the bathroom and the guest room. I'll be up shortly."

The comparison between Andromeda and Bellatrix was still very obvious, although various aspects of Andromeda's appearance were changed. Perhaps she had tried to make herself seem less like their older sister. Her once so curly hair was straightened, and it was now a lighter shade of brown. When Andromeda, or Andie as they used to call her, had left she was barely twenty. Now she was forty and fully matured, but she was still beautiful. Her features carried a gentleness to them she had always kept, despite everything.

"You haven't changed much," Narcissa said softly, when they found themselves alone together.

"I could say the same of you."

"I've changed a lot, though." Narcissa hesitated, but then she crossed the distance and embraced her sister fondly.

"You must have," Andromeda agreed. She responded to the embrace, holding her younger sister close to her. "Oh Cissy," she sighed. "Such a long time. More than twenty years."

"Twenty-one," Narcissa pointed out. "I've thought of you every day. I wish I'd had the courage to contact you."

"So do I." Andromeda pulled back from the embrace and held her at arm's length. "I wanted to, but I thought they had brainwashed you."

"They had, I think. It took a while to wake me up." The corner of her lips twitched towards a smile. There was so much more she wanted to say and talk about. "I'm so sorry about your husband."

"So am I..." Andromeda's face fell at the mention of the loss of her husband.

A forming pit in her stomach made Narcissa wonder if her sister blamed her for the loss. There was no time to discuss it further, for Harry appeared again. He looked more determined than ever.

"I have to leave," he said. "Ron and Hermione are waiting for me. I just talked to Lucie. You should all be safe here with the protective enchantments."

"Leave?" Andromeda repeated in confusion. "My dear boy, you must be mad! Dora tells me you're heading to Hogwarts. Hogwarts! If there's any place you shouldn't go right now it's Hogwarts, with the Carrows and everything. Are you mad?! You should stay here with your wife and child."

"I have a job to do." Harry's face fell at the mention of his little family, but his words were final. "Ginny's coming too once she's properly healed. Tonks is helping her and Draco. I think he's planning to come as well." When Andromeda's expression refused to soften, he sighed. "Look, Lucie's pretty upset. Maybe you can go to her, she's asking for you."

"No wonder she's upset," Andromeda said finally. "I just hope you know what you're doing." Shaking her head in disbelief, she hurried up the stairs.

But Harry was not let off the hook so easily. He still had the other sister to deal with. Narcissa was as full of incredulity, if not more so. Of course she had heard the rumours lately. Harry breaking into Gringotts. The Dark Lord's rage. Everything was building up to some sort of explosion.

"_Do _you know what you're doing?" she asked him. "All this risk I took to reunite the three of you. Don't let it have been in vain. I was so sure you loved my daughter. Don't you just want to be with her and the baby?"

His response showed it was the wrong thing to say entirely, but she did not understand. No one could win from the Dark Lord. It seemed pointless suicide.

"You think I don't love your daughter? You think I went away all these months camping, like some sort of holiday?" he exclaimed in fury. "I have _never _loved someone like I love Lucia. And I love her even more now, for giving me a family. You think I want to leave?" His voice broke at these words. "It's _because _of her, and the baby, that I'm going. They shouldn't be used like some sort of bait. I want Zara to be able to go to school and befriend whoever she likes. I don't want her to fear for her life. I want her to be free and grow up careless. _That's_ why I'm doing this. And the longer I wait, the more I know of her, the harder it gets. If I don't leave now I don't know if I'll ever be able to."

"I'm sorry." Narcissa said quietly. She found herself impressed by his words, and her hope grew.

"It's okay," Harry breathed out slowly and relaxed somewhat. "I don't expect you to understand any of this. I'm not even sure I understand. But _don't _say I don't love your daughter."

She nodded and followed him into the hallway. "I'll do what I can to defend them. Lucia, and Zara."

With half a smile, he nodded. She watched through the window how he walked through the yard to pass the protective enchantments, before he disapparated and left them all with a strange feeling of emptiness.


	26. Sisters

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Sisters**

It was not long after Harry's departure that the two sisters found themselves alone. Lucia and the baby were easily put to sleep in Nymphadora's old bedroom upstairs. A little herbal tea with a drop or two of Sleeping Draught had eased Lucia's worries at least for the time being. Draco and Ginny had left as soon as they were patched up, despite Narcissa's protests. In her opinion, after everything they had been through lately they ought to take some rest rather than throw themselves into the next battle. She was proud of her son, though. He now showed bravery his father never had.

When both Narcissa and Andromeda came down the stairs they had discovered Nymphadora, Andromeda's daughter, to be gone. The plan had been for her to stay here at the safe house with baby Teddy, but in the end she had been unable to let the Order she had so loyally been part of fight without her contribution.

"I'm sure she'll be all right," Narcissa comforted her sister. "She seems tough."She took the liberty of making tea for the both of them while Andromeda sank down, a defeated expression on her face, at the wooden kitchen table. She lived in a small house in a muggle area. The house was a mixture between muggle and magical interior. The difference to Malfoy Manor was grand, but Narcissa could not help feel at home here. One wall in the living room was full of pictures, some of which had both Draco and Lucia in them. Everything just breathed Andromeda, and Ted, while Malfoy Manor was so impersonal anyone could inhabit it.

"She is, but that's the problem," Andromeda sighed. "She's full of this noble sense of loyalty and out for revenge for her father's death and Mad-Eye Moody's, but she also has her son. Teddy should come first."

"I'm sure he does come first." Narcissa placed two steaming mugs of tea on the table and sat down, warming her hands around the mug. "She must have thought you'd take good care of him until she's back."

"What else can I do?" Andromeda said. "Heavens Cissy. Who would've thought both of us have a grandchild by now?" she laughed softly. "And of the most unlikely of matches. I never thought Dora to fall for, well, you know.."

"A werewolf?" Narcissa enquired, familiar with the stories about her niece and her odd choice of a husband.

"Well, yes," Andromeda agreed. "I wasn't sure at first, but he's a good man, Remus. And as for you, I'm sure you never expected Lucia to come home with Harry Potter."

"That's a fact," she sighed. 'She was betrothed to Blaise Zabini." Her eyes wandered over the pictures on the wall. Judging by their pictures being put up, she suspected her sister had grown quite close to her children over the past few months. "I'm sure she's told you that."

"She has," Andromeda nodded. "She loves Harry very much, can you see that?"

Narcissa's fingers traced the edge of her cup. "Oh yes," she sighed. "She is like you."

"In a way, yes. Only Ted wasn't 'the Chosen One', or whatever Harry goes by these days," Andromeda grimaced. "And I'm hoping Lucia's choice of love won't cost her her entire family."

"Not if I have a say in it." Narcissa stood up when she finished her tea and went over to the wall of pictures to study them. "I haven't been the mother at all I would have liked to be," she admitted. "I wish I could do it all over again."

"They're good kids, Cissy. Smart, and the heart in the right place. You must have done something right."

The sisters spent the rest of the night catching up on the years they had been apart. It was well past midnight, but no one would be able to sleep in such circumstances. Narcissa was surprised to discover it was as if they had last seen each other just yesterday. Andromeda was still the same in many ways. It was a pity they had had to miss each other for so long. They kept trying to get news on the battle, but no one could be reached. They had specific instructions from the Order not to leave the house under any circumstances, and they did not dare to take the risk. Their hope was on the wireless, but even that was unable to catch any sort of news or even a signal.

At some point during the night Narcissa went upstairs to check on Lucia and the baby. Thinking Lucia asleep, she bent over the basket little Zara was sleeping in. Oblivious to the dangers in the world outside, the baby slept peacefully. Her delicate features relaxed in sleep, the tiny fists on either side of the round little head. Narcissa pressed a gentle kiss to her head.

"Mother?"

Lucia's voice surprised her, and she turned to find her daughter awake.

"I thought you were asleep," she whispered, seating herself on the edge of the bed. Lucia laid on her side, her eyes glistening in the moonlight shining through the curtains. "How are you feeling?"

Ignoring the question, Lucia struggled to get herself up into a sitting position. It still cost her much effort. "Do you have word from Harry?"

"No, we would have woken you up in that case," Narcissa replied. She felt Lucia's forehead, despite her protests, and was pleased to find it was a lot less hot. "We haven't got word from anyone. I did bring you a bottle to feed Zara, if you feel up to it?"

"Oh yes." Lucia held out her arms, and Narcissa handed her the baby, and the bottle she had prepared downstairs.

"She's such a good baby, she'd sleep through her feedings if we didn't wake her," Narcissa said, stroking baby Zara's cheek to wake her up gently. Zara squirmed and stretched her small limbs; her cries impressive for a newborn.

"I'd prefer to feed her myself," Lucia commented, looking sadly at the bottle in her hand. It would be highly unwise, though. Lucia's strengths were less than optimal due to her illness, and by breastfeeding the baby Zara would be knocked out cold from the remainders of medicine and Sleeping Draught.

"Perhaps in a few days time?" Narcissa tried to cheer her up. She was unsure whether it would still be possible by then, though. The baby might have adjusted to formula.

Lucia did not press the matter any further, fortunately, and both women watched the baby drink greedily.

"Did you used to nurse me and Draco yourself?" Lucia asked after a while.

"Just your brother," Narcissa responded, thinking carefully of how to proceed. It might have been better if she lied, but there were already so many secrets between her and her daughter. Moments like these were a chance to improve their relationship, although that highly depended on the course of the conversation.

"Why not me?" Lucia concentrated on the baby in her arms to avoid her mother's eyes. It was obvious, however, that Narcissa's response was highly relevant. "Was it because of the delivery? Because it was harder?"

"I… yes," Narcissa finally said, aware of the hopeful tone in Lucia's readily offered suggestion. "Yes, that was it."

"But you wanted to?"

Narcissa reached out to tuck a strand of her daughter's hair behind her ear. "Of course I wanted to." Even if she hadn't at the time, it was not a lie anymore. Most of all she wanted to change back time and fix this gap between herself and Lucia. It was a mystery now how she could have thought her second child was a curse.

"You should go to sleep, sweetheart," she kissed Lucia's forehead. "I'll take the baby downstairs to change her, it's very late."

Wrapping baby Zara in a blanket, Narcissa headed downstairs after Lucia's feeble protests. She would need her rest to recover properly. And it was hard enough to get rest while everyone was desperate for news.

She changed Zara's diaper and headed down, finding Andie putting down baby Teddy.  
"Baby rush hour?" Narcissa smiled as she put Zara down in the play pen next to Teddy, tucking them both in. Baby Teddy was a few months older, making Zara look especially tiny in comparison.

"I couldn't bring myself to put him in his crib upstairs. Prefer to leave him in my sight," Andie admitted with a guilty smile. She stared intently at her grandson's sleeping form.

"He's a beautiful baby," Narcissa said, taking her sister to the kitchen as they left the babies to sleep.

"He looks like Ted. We noticed it the moment he was born. It's kind of painful, in a way. But it's also a comfort." Andromeda smiled sadly at the memory of her husband.

"Andie, shouldn't you try and get some sleep? We can't stay up all night. Or let me make you some more tea, at least."

Although Narcissa suggested it to her sister, sleep seemed the most impossible thing. As the minutes dragged forward her mind kept shifting more and more to Draco. Hearing nothing at all was alarming, but it also meant nothing was yet lost. The Dark Lord and the Death Eaters would surely announce a grand victory and make sure the whole Wizarding World knew if they won. She had never expected her husband and son to be on opposing sides when it came down to it. She thought of Lucius, too, wondering whether he had been punished or even worse for her acts. She also wondered what he thought of her at all. Whether he hated her, or secretly wished he had joined her in choosing their children over this war and everything else.

"Dora's all I have now, besides little Teddy," Andie said quietly. "If something happens to her…" Her face had paled visibly. "We should have watched her better. If we hadn't both gone upstairs someone could have stopped her."

"If she wanted to go no one could have stopped her," Narcissa said. Just as she herself could not have been stopped, no matter what she left behind. She crouched down by her sister's chair and embraced her. "She'll be all right. Surely they would have sent word otherwise?"

Her sister's worries alarmed herself as well. One side would have to win, and either way she would lose someone.

"Ted and I were happy, you know," Andie wiped away a few tears. "Twenty years of marriage is a long time. But it's not enough. It's never enough. We should have had twenty more at least."

"It's never enough," Narcissa agreed. Her head was full of many things. She thought of Severus, too, and the one night they had shared. She ought to think he would survive; he always found a way out of everything, and the Dark Lord favoured him so. His chances were higher than Lucius's. And yet she had a gut feeling that she couldn't put a finger on.

"You being here, does this mean you have left Lucius?"

Andromeda's question caught her off guard, for she barely knew the answer herself. The decision to come here was based mainly on an impulsive whim to finally openly choose her children, both children, over everything else. There had not been any time to consider Lucius at all- which might be the answer to the question.

"I can't be sure," she admitted finally, leaning against the sink. The lack of sleep was weighing down on the both of them. "It seems like it, doesn't it? Are you hungry?"

When Andromeda nodded, yet seemed too exhausted to act, Narcissa started rummaging through some cupboards to make them some sandwiches. "He's not a bad man, Lucius. I don't want you to think he is." There was ever the desire to defend her husband. Even if no one knew Lucius at all, she thought she came closest to knowing him.

"I'm too tired to think at all," Andromeda chuckled quietly. "Was he good to you, though? You were so young when I left home. Just a child. It was my main concern, you know. And then I read in the Prophet you were to marry Lucius Malfoy." Suddenly revived, Andie stood up and went to embrace Narcissa. "It was my fault, Cissy, wasn't it? They arranged it to cover up what I did?"

"It wasn't your fault." She wasn't used to hugging, so she held her sister clumsily and patted her back. "And I didn't mind much. I would have married Lucius at some point anyway, it just came a little sooner than expected. I was delighted to be his bride." Despite all, she smiled at the memory of her younger self, so eager to make the marriage work. "He was good to me, mostly. There were hard times. But there's hard times everywhere."

It was good to have someone to talk to. To talk about all the years they had missed out, and leave out no details. The babies and Lucia slept through the rest of the night, giving the sisters all the time to catch up. They sat in the small kitchen with the curtains open for a clear view, and drank litres of tea. Every five minutes or so they kept attempting to tune in on the wireless. The sun was rising and they watched it, together. The sunlight was splendid and so bright it hurt their eyes. It was almost impossible to recognise the Patronus soaring through the sky; a flash of silver through the golden sun. Slowly the lion shape came into view, not stopped by something as futile as doors and walls. Narcissa wasn't sure whose Patronus it was. Someone from the Order, undoubtedly. She clutched her sister when they stood up as the silver shape came to a halt in front of them and announced the message:

_"__Voldemort is dead. Harry Potter survives. Many deaths on both sides. Stay where you are." _

Both women gasped and held even tighter onto each other's hands. The relief Narcissa felt upon hearing the Dark Lord was dead was indescribable. Her entire life had been centred around fearing him. Her happiness never truly blossoming because there was always a new war around the corner.

"Whose... whose Patronus was that?" she asked once they regained their breaths and let go of each other.

"Kingsley's. I wonder if he's coming to tell us more in person? And more of the Order. And Harry! Shouldn't we go over there to lend our services to the injured? You should go and tell Lucie. Harry lives!" Andromeda laughed in a beautiful moment of oblivious joy. She was full of a vivaciousness Narcissa wished she herself had more of. Adrenaline filled her sister with a new, endless energy as she began to make tea for Kingsley and whoever would come.

The joy. Narcissa could feel it too; it filled her up an made everything light as a feather. She almost floated up the stairs to wake up Lucia. Yet there was something in the back of her mind that threatened to overshadow the happiness. Many deaths, the message had said. On both sides. Draco. Lucius. Andie's daughter and son-in-law. Bella. Severus. So many names that popped up in her mind. She had no answers. The waiting was worse than before now they knew for certain there were deaths.

"What else did the message say?" Lucia demanded, following her mother down the stairs. She looked fragile in her white dressing gown, but the fever was gone. "Did it mention any names? Or a number of deaths? Are you sure Harry's alive?" She went to pick up baby Zara when they came down, clutching her to her chest.

Andromeda followed Lucia's example by picking up her grandson. "We don't know any more than what your mother's told you," she answered. "It won't be long now."

The three women moved over to the window. It seemed like hours while they waited, before finally the dark-cloaked figures of both Kingsley Shacklebolt and Charlie Weasley popped up as they apparated just outside the grounds. Andie hurried forward to unlock the doors to allow them to enter. She looked so very hopeful.

"Harry's coming," Kingsley announced, with a nod towards Lucia and the baby. Both him and Charlie looked like they came right out of battle. They were covered in bruises and cuts, and Charlie had a bandage around his arm that already had blood seeping through it. Both their faces looked grave when they turned to Andie.

"Mrs Tonks." Kingsley's tone, also, was not what one might expect from someone whose side just won the war.

Narcissa moved over to take her sister's hand.

"Perhaps we could talk in private?" he suggested with a glance towards Narcissa, who became yet more determined.

"I'm not leaving her again."

"She's staying. She's my sister," Andromeda said quietly, squeezing Narcissa's hand as she sank down on the chair. She knew what was coming. They all knew what was coming.

Kingsley inclined his head shortly in agreement as he turned his attention back to Andie and ruined her life with so few words. "We wanted to tell you in person."


	27. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.  
-J.R.R. Tolkien: The Return of the King_

The gardens of Malfoy Manor were in full bloom. The sun caressed the rich greens of plants and bright colours of flowers. Narcissa enjoyed them every day. She strolled through the yards and had even planted some seeds herself. The weather was warm, especially for English summers. It was a welcome change after the long and cold winter that felt like it had lasted for years.  
It was a big house to inhabit for a woman alone. Contrary to her expectations, Narcissa did not mind at all. She liked being alone. For the first time she lived by herself, deciding every day whatever her free will allowed her to.

In the first days after Harry Potter's victory she had stayed by her sister's side. The combined loss of her husband, daughter and son-in-law was a blow so hard it had shattered the ground beneath Andromeda's feet. But she was strong. Narcissa admired her sister's great strength. It was hardly a year ago and already Andromeda was climbing up from the dark place of grief. She made herself no illusions, though. Whether anyone could truly recover from losing a child was questionable. At least Andie found her refuge in her grandson Teddy and so many others that loved her. Andie was always surrounded by friends and her husband's family. They all loved her, for being the admirable woman that she was. The two sisters visited each other quite often. It would be too optimistic to say their bond was as close and as undamaged as it had been when they were children, but there was love. At present that love was more than enough to establish a comfortable sort of contact that had every potential to grow.

Draco still lived with his aunt. Narcissa had invited him to come and live back home, but he claimed to be content where he was, for the short while until he could rent a place of his own. She suspected he didn't want to leave his aunt alone, which was admirable. She also suspected Malfoy Manor held such bad memories that made it impossible for him to ever call it home again. At least he came over for dinner once a week. She was glad to discover their bond had not truly suffered. It had changed, but only for the better. He was now an independent young man that no longer needed his mother to protect him. Recently he had started an internship at the Ministry of Magic at the department of International Trade Affairs, often cooperating with the goblins of Gringotts. He got it all by himself; with Lucius in Azkaban the Malfoy name did not open as many doors as it used to. The moment Draco and Lucia had ran away from home Lucius had made sure to cut off their access to their trust funds and other accesses to the Malfoy vaults they had had. Even as his wife Narcissa had no idea on where he kept the keys. Not that it mattered very much. The highly traditional Wizarding World was moving forwards; under Kingsley Shacklebolt's rule husbands no longer had the main right over their wives' gold. She had opened her own, private vault as a result where she kept her family inheritance. Bella's death made her the only living heiress to the house of Black; which assured her financial independence. She was her own and no one else's in any possible way. It was deliberating in a way she had long been ready for.

Bella's death had been hard on her, but not as hard as she had expected. She and Bella had long since started to dissociate from one another. That did not mean she did not grief. Grief was difficult when it was for someone that had the blood of so many on her hands. Narcissa was one of the few who had known her sister had more caring sides to her, but nothing could have ever been enough to make up for her many sins. Bellatrix would not have found happiness in a world without the Dark Lord. She had gone down in battle, defending him. A different ending could not have suited her better.

Narcissa's days filled themselves so fast she barely had time to consider what she wanted to do now that the war was over, her husband imprisoned, and her children had lives of their own. The Manor was in such a state it cost her a lot of time to supervise all the renovations and restore the extended grounds to their full bloom. The rest of her time was divided between her sister and the children, and the paperwork and administrative tasks that came with running such a household. It was quite pleasing to discover she could do everything Lucius used to do for her.  
She was lucky to still have the house elves to do the tough work for her. It allowed her to spend sunny after noons like these under the parasol in the yard with her feet up, enjoying the complete silence around her while she read the Daily Prophet. She did not nearly always like its content, but to stay on top of things it was important to know what 'the enemy' said about you. In the first weeks after the Battle Rita Skeeter had slaughtered just about any Death Eater with her merciless writing. Naturally, the Malfoys themselves had gotten more than their share of public humiliation that way. The Prophet was especially interested in Lucia's marriage to Harry; undoubtedly sensing scandal that would sell. Narcissa gave them little help there; avoiding reporters the best she could.

Opening today's edition she nearly dropped the chilled pumpkin juice she held. Rita Skeeter's latest work filled all of the front page:

"_Skeeter's comeback:_ _Severus Snape: Saint or Scoundrel?_

_Rita Skeeter, the Wizarding World's number one bestselling author, intends to publish her new book coming September. Proving her talent by writing "The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore", Skeeter is in for a new success covering a subject no one dared to dip their quills in until now! Severus Snape's story is one full of surprises for Skeeter's loyal fans. Not yet dead a year he is already Hogwarts most talked of headmaster.  
Book release to be held at Flourish &amp; Blotts on the first of September."_

"Sweet Merlin," Narcissa murmured in astounded response as she put the paper back on the table, unwilling to read the first promising critics. She should have known something like this was to be expected. Apart from his obituary in the Daily Prophet after his death in the battle and a few sensation-seeking articles surprisingly little had been reported about her deceased friend. The media silence had been ominous, and this new book could not promise much good. That horrible woman Rita Skeeter did all she could to turn anyone's life into a bestselling drama. What could she possibly know about Severus, though? Twenty years of friendship and Narcissa still felt she didn't know half of who Severus Snape really was. What she did know, was that she missed him terribly. He had never been sentimental or overly friendly, but he was the best friend she had ever had. He knew more about her than her own husband, and had helped her countless times in many ways.

She would lie if she said their night of passion had not meant anything to her. It was on her mind quite regularly, although she was still unable to explain it. It was not the sappy sort of romance she had longed for in her teenage years, but she was long over that. Severus's death complicated matters in many ways. She would never be able to explore whatever it was between them anymore. She did not know whether their one night could have grown out to be something more. Whether she would have had the strength to leave Lucius for him. On the other hand; nor would here be disappointments or awkwardness. It would always be just that: a wonderful memory.

"I take it you've seen the Prophet?"

She had been so caught up in her thoughts and memories, Draco's voice appeared to come out of nowhere. She took off her sunglasses to smile at her son. "I have. Hello darling, you're early."

She waited for him to kiss her cheek and take a seat. He looked very handsome dressed in his work attire. He didn't share much about his love life, but she was certain he could take his pick out of many girls. It was a pity he was rather attached to the Weasley girl. Her mother instincts had told her there was something between these two when they were imprisoned in the Manor together, and a few paparazzi shots for Witch Weekly's society page confirmed her suspicions. She had not mentioned it to him just yet. He was old enough not to have his mother involved in such business. And the Weasley girl, she had her moments. She had shown great bravery when she helped Lucia during the delivery. She was not at all what Narcissa had had in mind for Draco, but if life had taught her anything it was that nothing ever went as planned.

"Last client didn't show up," Draco nodded. "You know goblins," he rolled up his sleeves and loosened his tie as the warmth of the sun became more apparent. "So what do you think of that Skeeter woman? Are you intending to buy the book?" he grinned slightly and leaned back in his chair while Narcissa beckoned a house elf for drinks.

"I'm afraid that book is going to be an insult to your godfather's memory."

"And everyone takes that woman ridiculously serious," Draco snorted. "I got something for you," he suddenly said, rummaging through his pockets to check his wallet. "It's the latest."

Narcissa eagerly took the picture he handed her. Instantly a smile spread over her features as she recognised the baby that attempted to cling onto a toy broomstick to be her granddaughter Zara. At nearly a year old, the little girl was looking more like her father every day. Bright green eyes and dark hair made her the spitting image of Harry Potter.

"She's such a doll," she smiled as her finger traced the baby on the picture. She would like to see much more of little Zara. Despite the improvements Narcissa and Lucia had made during the last part of the war, she would lie if she said their relationship was good. It was complicated, and no doubt it would take a lot more time. Lucia was as stubborn as her father. Whatever happened there was always something that stood in their way of really having a proper mother-daughter relationship. Mostly Lucia was angry and disappointed in her father. She used to be the apple of his eye, and when he disowned her so easily after her marriage it had hit her harder than anything ever had. Narcissa suspected Lucia had expected her to choose sides openly and file for divorce now that Lucius was in Azkaban. Sometimes Narcissa herself wondered, too, why she hadn't. There wasn't a particular reason for her to stay with Lucius anymore. The children were all grown up, and she had possession of her own money. She could inhabit the Lestrange manor if she needed a place to live, or buy something new. The choices were endless, and that alone was deliberating.

"Nearly a year old," Narcissa smiled. "Have you seen her this week?"

"I dined with Lucie on Wednesday," Draco nodded. He was more fond of his niece than he would openly admit, and never missed a chance to stop by at the Potter residence. "Potter had the night shift."

"I see." Narcissa took a glass of white wine from the elf that hurried out with a tray to serve to them. "Is Lucie all right? Does Harry take good care of her?"

"Seems like it," Draco shrugged. "The Auror training programme keeps him busy, I'm sure he's glad he's got himself a little housewife. What she sees in him is beyond me, but I guess I'll never understand."

"I think I've adjusted to the idea of the pair of them together now," she said. "And what about you?" she grinned slightly as she teased her son. "What do you see in the Weasley girl?"

"She has a name, Mother. And we're not really going out in public. I'm surprised you're so well-informed."

"I have my sources. You're young, you should choose whoever you like. We've had enough worries the past few years."

Years ago she would not have so easily accepted her son's choice of girlfriend. It was funny to think how much had changed. She wasn't truly enthusiastic about Draco and the Weasley girl, but he was only in his early twenties. What was the chance it would last? And even if it did, it was important to her he made his own choices. She wasn't sure what Lucius would think, though, but that was for later concern.

"Any word from father's attorney?" Draco readily changed the subject.

"A letter came just this morning. We'll have to await the trial. The Imperius card won't be played a second time, but he seems to think there's a chance he might get off with a minimal sentence if we can get it clear the Dark Lord was putting the family under a great amount of pressure. Lucia's marriage to Harry could put things in a positive light, but I doubt she'll want to testify. We'll need a outsider to testify," she sighed. Lucius had been in Azkaban for months, awaiting a proper trial. Azkaban was full of former Death Eaters all in need of a trial and a great amount of formalities to support their sentences or clearances. Although Narcissa's mind was often with him, as well as her worries, the circumstances of Azkaban had improved. Shacklebolt had moved the Dementors to a place on the island reserved only for prisoners with the highest sentence, and the Kiss was no longer a used sentence. While awaiting trial, Lucius was safe at least, but the future was uncertain as ever.

Draco nodded, absentmindedly skimming through the Daily Prophet. Narcissa knew it was bothering him. He was eager to show his father how he was making his own life without any help. Even as an adult he sought his father's approval. Her approval, or his sister's or his aunt's: it was not enough. The problem was, she wasn't sure if it would ever be good enough for Lucius. It was all more than good enough for her, though, and she could only hope Draco would know that.

The pair of them dined outside, the cool breeze of the evening quite refreshing after a hot day. When Draco had gone and the chill became more apparent, Narcissa moved inside and had an elf poke up the fireplace to warm herself up. She enjoyed the silence around her while she rested on the sofa with a book. She could do that now; relax doing absolutely nothing while no one said a word about it. How different from the days her house was full of Death Eaters causing fear in every corridor and she had to lock herself in her bedroom for some impossible peace and quiet.

The Manor serving as Death Eater headquarters had left it in quite a state. Slowly she was supervising its renovations and redecorations. Inspired by her sister's homely residence, Narcissa had put up pictures of the children and Zara over the fireplace in the drawing room. They smiled at her from across the room, reminding her that it had all been worth it.

Just as she was closing her book to go and prepare for bed, the doorbell rang through the silent halls. Frowning, she made her way to the hallway and the front door. An elf was already hurrying towards it, its loyalty to the lady of the house ever present.

"It's all right, I've got it," she interfered, passing the elf on its way to the door, thinking Draco had forgotten something.

Suddenly she found herself eye to eye with her husband for the first time in months. In her great shock she took a step back, her mouth opening and closing in an attempt to say something sensible.

"Lucius... you.. have a key?" she stammered finally.

He only vaguely resembled the man she had married. He looked thinner, and his complexion unhealthily pale. His clothing was too large for him now, and she wondered how long it was since he had last had a decent meal. But most of all she noticed the change in his demeanour. No longer standing straight and proud, his sufferings were apparent. A surprising gulf of warmth flooded through her at the sight of him.

"I wasn't sure if you'd want me to use it," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to frighten you..."

"What are you doing here?" she whispered, opening the door further to allow him entrance. "Your lawyer said just this morning.. the trial... You haven't escaped?"

"No," he assured her quickly. "They've cleared me on probation, until the trial. Someone must have put in a good word, someone with influence at the Ministry..."

Narcissa shook her head slowly. It couldn't have been Draco; his influence was minimal due to Lucius's stay in Azkaban. And besides, he would have told her if he had. "I don't know anything about that... Aren't you coming in?"

He entered tentatively, his eyes never leaving hers. "You look well."

"I wish I could say the same of you," she guided him into the drawing room where the fire was still on.

It was so surreal. The last time she had seen him, was before she escaped the house with the children. He had been caught by the Aurors at the end of the battle, so there hadn't been any time for them to speak ever since. Azkaban still did not allow visitors, but even if it had Narcissa wasn't sure she would have gone to him.

"Are you hungry? I can ask the elves to prepare-"

"No," he interrupted her. He had sank down on the sofa and extended his hands to warm them by the fire. Narcissa stood in the doorframe and watched him, frowning. "Just, thirsty," he explained on a kinder tone.

"All right." Cautiously, Narcissa crossed the room to pour him some water. Her heels clicked on the marble floors; it was the only sound that filled the room. There were so many things to say, and neither knew where to begin, or whether they had anything to say to one another at all.

"I wasn't sure you'd be here," Lucius finally said. His voice was hoarse, like every word was a strain. He was no longer a young man. At nearly fifty everything was weighing down on him. Everything he had done, and had not done.

"I've always loved this house." Narcissa handed him the drink. She did not sit down, though. Instead she headed for the doorway, and stopped there, unsure whether to leave or to stay. "I couldn't let it go to waste." Ever since she was a young woman, a girl still, and came to live here first, she had poured her soul into the Manor. She had loved its Victorian grandeur from the very first moment. Through the years she had arranged changes to make it more her style, rather than that of the father and son that had lived here together for so long. These walls alone knew all of her secrets. All her long lost hopes and dreams were buried here, while new lives had blossomed.

"I could go somewhere else... if you prefer."

"Don't be silly, Lucius. This is your family estate. You have every right to be here. More than me."

"You will always be the true lady of this house. I've done more than enough to you." His voice broke at the last words spoken.

His weakness, so openly showed as tears poured down his face, moved her. She strode across the room and crouched down by this broken man. "Don't be so hard on yourself," she said quietly.

Lucius shook his head, unwilling to accept kindness. "You should have never married me. You deserved better. Someone that took care of you, rather than.. than ruin you."

She sighed softly and took hold of his hands. "Lucius, please. I've forgiven you a long time ago." She knew it was true when she had spoken the words. She would never be able to forget what he did, but she was wiser than to hold grudges. And did she not have her own faults? She had committed adultery, and then she had endangered his life. Her own book as full of sins, though not as obvious as those of the Death Eaters. They were sins, nevertheless, and she would carry them with her.

"And besides, do I look ruined to you?"

"No," Lucius admitted, a small smile breaking through. "You look beautiful. You always have." He squeezed her hands in his own, encouraged by her words. "There were never any others, you know. It was always you."

Throughout the years she had wondered so often, but never dared to ask. She had never found a trace of another woman. She had assumed he was highly discrete. Knowing this made her own adultery more painful. It changed nothing, though. She would not regret it.

"I didn't know that," she said quietly, slightly caught off guard. "I thought...I don't know what I thought, really," she grimaced.

"You thought I was the wrong man for you, and you thought right," Lucius said. "I was a weak man. I never treated you as I should have, and even now I can't promise you much. I'll likely have to go back to prison after the trial."

"We'll see about that, then." She cupped his face between her hands. "Do you know I love you?"

"After all this time?" He looked for a moment as if he might not, but then he pressed his lips to hers. Tentatively. Not unpleasantly. "I could not hope for it."

"I loved you through duty and loyalty at first, and then I loved you for giving me a son, and a daughter. That could never stop. We've both made such wrong choices, Lucius." She stroked his cheek gently. "I don't know what's best for us."

"You would give me another chance?" he said, in all his confusion. "You would consider it?"

"Perhaps," she nodded. "Things will have to change, though. I'm different now." She had outgrown the shy, submissive girl he had married. She was now an independent woman of her own right. With wishes and thoughts that might clash with his, which would always be more conservative.

"I wouldn't have you any other way."

She answered his smile with one of hers. The Dark Lord was gone. They weren't very old; they could have decades ahead of them. Years full of new chances for them to grow closer. The ingredients of their match were still there. They had been broken and stirred, but not all was lost. Theirs was, above all, a love story. It may not be a conventional one, but there was a story, and there was love. For now, that was enough.

_The End_

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**Author's Note:** The end has come! I want to use this note to thank all of you loyal readers! If you're still with me at this point, I"m assuming you at least enjoyed the story in some way, which is more than I could have hoped for! THis was my 'writing comeback' and I had no clue how it would turn out to be. This story was quite close to my heart. It inspired me to write more, and already the wheel is turning to form new ideas. All of your lovely reviews have encouraged me to keep writing, even when I felt at some moments it wasn't very good. So thank you readers, reviewers, followers, favouriters, and everyone else :) Lucius and Narcissa have become quite dear to me. I hope you all agree with me that they were portrayed as more than just one-sided villains.


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